Happy birthday, mom.
Whoops, sorry on that call about Keith praising the Flair/Trip match on Raw yesterday. I am only virtually omniscient, I suppose. I guess that Scott’s hatred for Trip sorta blinds him to alleged quality, even obscuring his Flair markdom. Now, what I want to see happen is for everyone who’s ever written me a “Flex has had great matches, but you say they’re not because you hate Flex so much” e-mail to write to Keith to call him out on that as well. Fair is fair.
Note: this is not a feud between Scott and myself. The two of us have always got along, even during the whole firing imbroglio at TSm (and he can verify that we behaved completely in a professional manner during that time). I feel that Scott’s a bit misguided on his Trip hatred, and Scott feels that I’m blind if I can’t see the benefits of Flex. Long ago, we agreed to disagree on these subjects. What this is about is hypocrisy among fans. If you don’t call him out after you’ve called me out, that means that your dislike for Trip and your love for Flex is coloring your opinion. Yes, Trip is easier to dislike than Flex from a smark perspective. Flex is happily married with a kid and a side career in wrestling, while Trip is committing bestiality with a particular female canine. Trip is perceived as holding back certain wrestlers (viz. l’affaire Jericho), while Flex isn’t. Let’s face it, if you take a holistic view of wrestling, it’s harder to like Trip. However, I find him to be more entertaining than Flex, with the ability to be more adaptable. I firmly believe that the blown face turn after his return from injury earlier this year was due to the fact that he had to play against Steph, a situation that has ruined more than one face in this company (again, see Jericho, Chris). So I’m willing to cut him some slack. Just personal taste and personal feelings, I guess.
I guess what I’m saying is that we’re all entitled to hold our own opinions on anything. However, Scott and myself, as public figures, are putting ourselves on the line by expressing them in our columns. We’re both men of integrity, which means that we believe what we write and won’t write what we do without believing it. We can only hope that the people who write us are also people of integrity, who have heartfelt beliefs behind their opinions and can express them when they disagree with our stances. To semi-quote Michael Palin: “Automatic gain-saying of the other person’s position is not an argument.” Don’t believe what the hype machine feeds you. Find reasons for your beliefs, and be willing to stick up for them.
Enough moralizing. On with the show.
THE PIMP SECTION
Gamble has an identity crisis. And thank you. I definitely agree with that equation.
Anderson trods familiar nightmare territory for longtime fans.
Nason has all your indy goings-on in one tightly-wrapped package, God bless his little heart.
RIPPING OFF REUTERS
A California fisherman was killed after a large whale unexpectedly breached over his boat, smashing into the deck and hurling him into the water, a Coast Guard official said on Tuesday.
Apparently, a nearby dolphin said that the fishing boat wasn’t entertaining him, and that their three minutes were up.
RIPPING OFF CNN
My life has been completely and utterly destroyed by [Attorney General] John Ashcroft and the FBI – Dr. Steven Hatfill, bioweapons expert terminated by LSU’s National Center for Biomedical Research and Training and an alleged suspect in the anthrax mailings.
File away this one, people. We’ll be hearing a lot more about John Ashcroft destroying people in the name of “national security” and “anti-terrorism”.
RIPPING OFF AP
Police have charged a man with sexually assaulting a nun and strangling her with her rosary beads as she took a late-night stroll with another nun.
Plus ten for creativity, minus a million on the taste scale. That’s just sick.
Speaking of minus ten million on the taste scale, let’s move to Smackdown…
SMACKDOWN SOMEWHAT SPOILED
Hmmm, Chuck proposes to Billy…didn’t WWE abort this angle with Brian Lawler and Scott Taylor because it was an eentsy-weentsy too distasteful to a good portion of America? Or has Will and Grace desensitized the objectors? You know, I really don’t care if they do this next week or not, because I have no feelings on the issue of gay marriage, but their chances of pulling this off without offending some people are nil. They’re just not creative enough to do it in a cute way that’ll make it seem harmless.
Naturally, it’s Mark Henry who congratulates them on their upcoming wedding. I doubt, though, that they’re going to bring up the fact that Mark Henry was the same man who got an on-camera blowjob from a transvestite and that he impregnated an eighty-year-old woman with a hand.
Next time on Jerry Springer, “Cruiserweight Champions Who Are Scared Of Commitment”, as Nidia attempts to use Billy and Chuck’s situation to ensnare Jamie.
Kurt Angle, meanwhile, is taking on a task which might be too tough even for him: turning Chris Benoit into a face that the mark audience will care about (of course, to us smarks, he will always be Our Lord and Savior). Of course, it might just be a ploy to turn Angle face, thus creating the problem of turning Chris Benoit into a heel that the mark audience will care about. It’s going to be a long, hard slog either way, I’m afraid.
The Holly Cousins both end up winning matches. I think the last time both of them came out winners on the same night, they were bringing a scale to ringside.
You know, except for the kayfabe-breaking moment when Heyman actually brings up the fact that Sara Undertaker is truly pregnant (a bit of news that was not believed by the mark portion of the audience when it was posted here), this seems like a dull show and a pass. Next week, however, might just be worth taping for me just to see how they’re going to screw up the Billy/Chuck wedding. I think the best way to pull it off is for them to invite Rico to the altar to make it a menage-a-trois, and have him accept. Or for Shane Helms and Shannon Moore pop out and ask for a double ceremony, just to confirm what we’ve always suspected about them. Of course, with the Hardys being separated, we could always have Matt confess the Love That Dare Not Speak Its Name vis-a-vis Jeff and beg him to come to Smackdown so that they could be together, forever and ever.
Oy.
TNA IS CHEAP; WHAT A SURPRISE
You know, I could comment on the X Division Best-Of broadcast and the fact that the performers down there don’t get paid for repeats, but, really, the first is a done deal, and the second is simply a repeat of an old scam by content providers to screw over the performers. Thinking about it for a second, NWA: TNA seems to be pretty devoid of AFTRA members, because AFTRA insists on repeat royalty clauses in performer contracts. It may be a small pro-forma payment, but it’s still fair to the performers.
Well, I did end up commenting on it after all. Who says I don’t bring you wrestling news?
MAILBAG!
A lot of people are wondering what I think of the book Fast Food Nation, and especially whether the descriptions of the meat industry in there are accurate (since I do work in the industry). In order: must-read and very accurate. The meat industry is obsessed with profit and generally considers quality and regulatory oversight to be detrimental to profit and must be eliminated if they should dare pop their head up. That’s why a good portion of senior management at my plant don’t like me, because I’m not sympathetic to that view. Fortunately, I’m too useful to terminate.
RunsWithGoats wonders what I think of the new He-Man cartoon. Well, I’m a little too old to have been captivated by the original (and still wonder what made it so captivating), so I don’t have any fond memories to recall or get shattered. But, I’ve seen bits of it and it hasn’t been too atrocious. Not a world-beater, but definitely not a disaster.
DX Opineth:
Just wondering, with The Rock having “gone heel” at SummerSlam, why you’re continuing to call him “Flex”. As I recall, you gave The Rock’s face and heel acts different names, with “Flex” being the one for the face, and “The Rock” for his heel.
Correct, sir.
I’m guessing this has to do with the fact that he’s only been heel in one town, and more or less off-camera at that. And with his movie-making absense, the odds are good that WWE will try and promote him as a face still, and the fans will cheer for him when he comes back, as if he were never booed.
Bingo. Until it’s on camera and he’s behaving in full heel mode for a sustained period of time, he’s still Flex.
Roachersize asks:
Is there any way that you can find out the name of the summerslam 2002 theme song?
Do I look like Letawsky to you? I don’t know, I don’t care. Next.
Jed S. is a little disappointed that I didn’t go into the Buh Buh Ray/Trip promo yesterday, saying that it was the first time in a long, long time that Trip got verbally bitch-slapped by a midcarder. True on the surface. However, the confrontation needed to be done, and it needed to be done by someone who doesn’t have an issue with Trip, yet still has tough-guy credibility, and can cut an effective promo. That really limits the number of people on the Raw roster who could do that particular promo (Jericho was out due to his issues with Flair, Booker and Kane both have oodles of gold to fall back on). So, Buh Buh Ray it was. Let’s face it, would it have had the same impact if Jeff Hardy made the speech?
Memo to Beau Landaiche: I love the idea. It’s sufficiently convoluted that the audience would be confused as to what’s going to happen next until it happens. However, it’s so good that the writing staff would never think of something like that. I feel for you, bud.
Big Daddy’s Back! And he’s got a great comment on the Big Gold Belt’s return:
I think I’ve figured out the rationale behind the return of yet another issue-clouding wrestling belt. Follow along with me: a) the writing staff can’t seem to generate decent feuds; ergo, writing staff sucks. b) people always clamor for titles; ergo, titles generate conflict. c) conflict = feuds, feuds = storylines, storylines = interest and ratings, interest and ratings = writing staff is pure genius, blah, blah, buh-lah. I guess another title interests me more than a PPV match over “Hey, what are you doing using my anti-perspirant?!?”
This is why I love Mistah Dieckmann. Oh, yeah, as per Harry Turtledove, I was a little disappointed in “Blood and Iron”. but “The Center Cannot Hold” is a nice return to form. I still think he’s sticking a little too close to actual historical events with Jake Featherstone, though. I read alternate history to see what might have happened in different circumstances, not to see them repeated (in total detail) in a different setting. Guess that what Harry’s saying with Featherstone is that fascism will develop along the same lines no matter what the place or time.
Mario Robles asks a question I get a lot:
Before I get into why I’ve written to you, I have a question: Are you an actor? Just curious because of the name you’ve given your mailbox. Could either be referring to “Thespian” or “The Spy” (spelt uniquely). Not that it makes much of a difference, but I’m an actor here in New York, so that’s why I picked up on that.
I’ll forgive you for living in the cesspit of the known universe. I was an actor for a long time, but never fully turned pro because I tend to like my creature comforts, and working in an industry with a 97% unemployment rate wasn’t an incentive to that (although the paydays can be big).
As per my handle, I’ve been using it for almost twenty years now. Although your assumptions are good, they’re incorrect. My full name is Eric Joseph Paul Szulczewski. Take the initials, EJPS. Reverse them: SPJE. Latinate them: SPIE (J is a rather recent addition to the Roman alphabet). Bingo.
Also, those were some great comments on Flex’s won’t-turn-heel situation, and I tend to agree there’s something to there being a common financial interest between Mister Johnson and WWE in maintaining the status quo. But, if he’s supposedly a good actor, he should be able to pull this situation off, shouldn’t he?
A writer who prefers to remain anonymous points out a rather unusual situation:
I saw the posters for the WWE show in Limerick on September 29. What’s interesting about this is that among the wrestlers scheduled to appear are Hogan, Flex, Lesnar, Matt Hardy and Chris Jericho. Curious, as Flex is supposed to be doing work on Helldorado, Hogan can’t do a long flight with his back (although NY-to-Shannon is only about 5 hours) and is on not-great terms with the company, and Jericho is on RAW and Hardy’s on Smackdown.
My guess is that for the overseas shows, they ignore the brand differentiation and pull together the best card they can get together. It makes financial sense as well, since you can’t really drag a good portion of both rosters to Europe and still put together two sets of shows in North America. So, you cream off a roster from both that would appeal to the EuroAudience and still have enough guys left to run the NA shows. Dunno if the Flex and Goblin pimps are real or not, and if Hogan’s back is as bad as mine, five hours might be undoable. I can sometimes barely stand a two-hour flight.
A lot of people have been asking me about which P2P software I’d use to get wrestling matches. I usually don’t download those; however, I’d avoid P2P for those and check the usual Usenet groups first. If the headers are incomplete, then you can turn to P2P. I’d end up using FastTrack for that (KaZaA Lite, of course), since they tend to be better on the video stuff than Gnutella.
I think I’ll knock off for this week. Stay here tomorrow for Grut.
About Eric Szulczewski
