SLAYER’S SPORTS AND STUFF!
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Hi Everybody! Welcome to another edition of Slayer’s College Football and Stuff! Everyone ok? I know, I know. It was a sad two weeks but now it’s time to move on and pretend nothing happened. And for people in about 45 states, that’s very easy to do. Hell, I totally forgot there was a war in Iraq. But then I saw in the far corner of a newspaper that 20 people died in a suicide car bomb in Iraq. Well, all I have to say is thank God things are back to normal. And after the sports world was so rudely interrupted last week, it’s time to be soldier and play some college pigskin! There is also some politics at the bottom. Because everyone who knows me, knows I just loooooooooooooovvvvvvvve politics. The only thing I love more then politics is taffy. And I’m a man that loves his taffy.
SCORES OF THE WEEK!
LSU 35
ARIZONA ST. 31
It would take a lot to knock off ND/MICH or TEX/OSU off the top spot, and this indeed was a lot. A top tier program representing not only Louisiana, but the hearts and minds of the nation going into Sun Devil Stadium, and taking a win based on a 4th quarter drive and 40 yard pass. Even ASU fans had to somewhat grin about this one. It of course begs the question, since we’re all a bunch of projection artists anyway: Does LSU have a legitimate shot at the championship? We’ll only have to wait a couple weeks for the answer….
TEXAS 25
OHIO ST. 22
Texas passed the the first big test to get in the Rose Bowl. They have two more against Oklahoma and Texas A&M, but this is one heck of a way to get to the front of the pack. Actually, the Oklahoma game means less now. Even if they lose to them, Oklahoma’s loss to TCU would not trump them over Texas. As for the Buckeyes, it’s winout or no BCS. Even if they do sweep their Big Ten schedule, they won’t have a prime shot at the Rose Bowl if Texas only loses one game.
NOTRE DAME 17
MICHIGAN 10
Charlie Weiss becomes the first Notre Dame coach to win his first two games on the road since Knute Rockne. Ha! That’s the last thing Charlie needs is comparisons to that guy. Still, Notre Dame is in the Top Ten of one of the polls and well on their way into getting into a BCS bowl. Their schedule does not get any easier. As for Michigan, same situation as Ohio St. Winout or no Roses. However, due to this week, the stock of the Big Ten has dropped which brings us to…
IOWA ST. 23
IOWA 3
Cyclone fans were worried when last week they barely survived Illinois St, but they capitalized on ALL of the Hawkeye mistakes scoring all 23 points off turnovers. Let’s see if they can get inspired by this win and roll over the Big 12 North. As for the Hawkeyes, they were some people’s darkhorse to get into the Rose Bowl, but that’s all over now. So after week 1, the Big Ten goes 10-0, week 2……kablooie.
SMU 21
TCU 10
Just when the Horned Frogs were supposed to be this year’s Cinderella, they lose to their old SWC rival. SMU gets their first Top 25 win since 1986 and hopes they can maybe make their first bowl game since 1984.
Let’s look at this week’s games.
GAME OF THE WEEK!
5) TENNESSEE vs. 6) FLORIDA 8:00/CBS
Wait a minute…it seems a tad bit early for this one. Why is this in September? Oh well, gotta take it when you can get it. You know the deal here, it’s what the media gurus are calling heavyweight elimination matchup blah blah. It is in the SEC which is the best conference in college football so of course whoever wins this game and goes undefeated the rest of the way and wins the SEC championship…won’t get into the Rose Bowl. I really need to stop bringing that up. I need to move on….
OTHER GAME OF THE WEEK!
8) FLORIDA ST. vs. 16) BOSTON COLLEGE 7:45/ESPN
This is a potential historic game here as it is BC’s first official ACC matchup. So let’s put on a party hat and scream “Welcome to the ACC!” Here is a surprise present, the Seminoles! And if history has proven anything, it’s that Bobby Bowden puts the team in fifth gear when he gets criticized. If the Eagles actually win this out, they will piss off both the northern and southern side of the Eastern coast.
MORE GAMES OF THE WEEK!
13) MIAMI (FL) vs. 21) CLEMSON 3:30/ABC-Regional
Need some redemption? Go to Clemson! No idea what that could possible mean but hey, it rhymes. Still, the Tigers better watch out for a pissed off hurricane or they will WAY TOO EARLY FOR HURRICANE JOKES MR. SLAYER.
18) OKLAHOMA vs. UCLA 3:30 ABC-Regional
The Bruins have never beaten the Sooners, but they got a chance to do it now. They are on all cylinders right now and Oklahoma STILL doesn’t have a quarterback. They have like seven of them, but not one.
24) FRESNO ST. vs. OREGON 7:00/TBS
People are picking Bulldogs because they think the Ducks will overlook them due to next week’s matchup against USC. I never understood what looking ahead actually means. If someone could explain to me this concept, I would appreciate it. Personally, I think it’s just something media idiots say.
RANKED TEAMS ON THE NATIONAL FEED
ARKANSAS vs. 1) SOUTHERN CALIFORNIA 10:15/FSN
The razorbacks just lost to Vanderbilt and USC has had a week’s rest. Oh boy…
RICE vs. 2) TEXAS 7:00/FSN
Unless Texas is still partying from last week…
SAN DIEGO ST. vs. 9) OHIO ST. 3:30/(abc)
Unless Ohio St. is still shell shocked from last week……
OREGON ST. vs. 10) LOUISVILLE NOON/ESPN
Louisville has an atrociously weak NCS. This is the toughest team on it, so if they wanna make an impression outside the Big East. Now is their only chance.
MICHIGAN ST. vs. 11) NOTRE DAME 2:30/NBC
We all know how college football works, if the Spartans win, would anyone really be surprised?
23) VIRGINIA vs. SYRACUSE NOON/ESPN2
Good offense vs. a descent defense. The Cavs didn’t look so hot in their first game.
25) ALABAMA vs. SOUTH CAROLINA 3:30/CBS
Is this Bama’s comeback season or is this a ruse? Good test to find out.
WILD CARD TEAMS ON THE NATIONAL FEED
WISCONSIN vs. NORTH CAROLINA 7:00/ESPN2
I said it in the beginning, watch out for those Badgers! They always do well when they have ‘off-years’.
AND ALL THE OTHER GAMES ON THE NATIONAL FEED
UTAH vs. TEXAS CHRISITAN R7:30/ESPN
Two teams that came in hot then dropped a lemon.
HOUSTON vs. TEXAS EL-PASO F8:00/ESPN2
A good chance to see UTEP and if they will make a re-peat of last season.
SOUTHERN METHODIST vs. TEXAS A&M 12:30/FSN
After last week’s win, SMU could get smacked by a team that is pissed.
BAYLOR vs. ARMY 3:00/ESPNC
Don’t look now, but Baylor is 2-0. Remember what I said, if they can sweep their NCS..they could be back in a bowl game.
PITTSBURGH vs. NEBRASKA 3:30/(abc)
Mega-drama for the team that loses this one.
KENTUCKY vs. INDIANA 6:45/ESPNC
Like Baylor, the Hoosiers have a chance to enter Big Ten play with a 3-0 record.
As for the hundreds of other games picked up on syndication or being broadcasted locally, you’re on your own.
POLITICS OF THE WEEK!
To quote somebody else who said it about something else (another disaster):
If a superpower can’t protect its own people, what’s the point of being a superpower.
Anyway, my political friends are driving me nuts. Are they driving you nuts too? Good, let’s share in our animosity toward our fellow kool-aid drinkers. Let’s call a spade a spade here. The G laid an egg with the relief on the local, state, and federal levels. This is UNDEBATABLE. But, my left wing friends are like, this is Bush’s fault. No guys. It’s a bureaucratic SNAFU that has to do with the sad state of affairs of how politics work in the deep south, the lack of readiness by FEMA, how the partisan system has gone out of control, and how no one gives a shit about poor people, especially poor people that are black. Would have happened under any president…..for the exception of McCain.
And my right wing friends are getting all ultra-defensive, like “umm..no…they did as good as they can…it’s the looters fault, yeah, the looter’s fault” then they cry and run away.
Just please… recognize that this is a tragedy that could of and should have been under control from day 1. But what happened?
Well, on the state and local levels, like I said, the politics of the Deep South has little do about legislation and public policy, so the Feds have to step in. Here’s the problem. The White House is full of idiots. Oh, just relax you over-defensive Republicans, you know it’s true. They are spoiled old money brats who are now in charge and are playing real life games of Monopoly and Risk. And they invite all their friends to play, such as Brownie who got the flack for Fema.
But here’s the problem: It’s the democrat’s fault too. See, if you did your homework in school and read the Federalist papers, you will see that it is clearly stated that the minority part’s job is to make sure the majority doesn’t get all willy nilly. They didn’t. The Dems have lost the punditry fight, the rhetoric fight, and finally the actual electoral fight. Hell, the Democrats could lose a fight to a 2 month old kitten. So their plan of “action” was to let the Republicans do what they want and sit back as America sees them completely mess things up. See, all those cronies and idiots that are in the Cabinet, the democrats let them do it. Sure, they made appearances with Rice and some judges to satisfy their base, but that’s it. Yes, it is Bush’s fault to surround himself with fellow Skull and Bones playmates and put them in very important positions, but it’s all of Washington’s fault for letting him do it. So to all my Democratic and Republican kool-aid drinking friends, please have a nice cold glass of Shut the Fuck Up.
Enjoy the games! See you next week!
