My Exclusive Interview With Portia Perez… Yes, THE Portia Perez

Features, Interviews

It was a hot, black night when I first met Portia Perez. She was wrestling at a community center in Long Island. Our eyes met. I said hi to her, she told me not to talk to her and had Larry Sweeney yell at me. Some guy next to me started chanting Jailbait at her. She had Larry scream at me again. It was magical. She is a lady wrestler with Shimmer and other organizations. She likes the word Frickin. In a world filled with lady wrestlers who have double x’s in their names, she has none. I had believed her to be 13 years old but it turns out she’s almost 20. Check it out!

Yeah, she’s cute too. I’m pretty sure she hasn’t done any of that Shelly Martinez/SoCal Val naked dominated wrestling bs. I think I’d feel dirty if I saw her naked. I don’t want to sleep with this girl. I want to buy her a kitten and staple a pencil to its head so she thinks it’s a kittenicorn. She’d laugh and clap her hands and oh. Right. The interview. It was done on AIM. Don’t bug me for her screen name, it’s top secret.

GRUT: I’m talking with Portia Perez, the Canadian with the Spanish last name and the Jewish winning move. Thanks for your time Portia.

Portia Perez: No problem, thanks very much for the interview.

GRUT: My pleasure. Starting with the basics, where are you from and who trained you?

Portia Perez: I was trained originally by Dave Dalton at the Universal Wrestling Alliance in Ottawa, Canada. I’ve also had quite a bit of additinal training from people like Tyson Dux, Cody Hawk, Chris Hero, and Matt Stryker.

GRUT: The good Matt Stryker, right? Not the ‘other’ Matt Striker.

Portia Perez: Haha, I’m not really sure if the ‘other’ Striker is good or bad, but I had training from Stryker with a ‘y’, who worked for Heartland Wrestling Association, Ring of Honor, etc.

GRUT: Very political of you. You are one of the youngest women or men involved in wrestling right now. What’s it like being the baby in the locker room? Do you have to constantly prove yourself or do people try to help you more than they normally would?

Portia Perez: It’s very difficult for me to judge, because it’s very rare for me to not be one of the youngest members of a roster. A lot of people have been very helpful and understanding towards me with my age. On the other hand, it can be very difficult to be taken seriously at such a young age, and it can sometimes be difficult to try to relate to or work alongside people who are sometimes quite a bit older than me. I would say that the negatives and positives pretty much cancel each other out though, and my youth doesn’t really bother me either way.

GRUT: That’s great. I joined up in a real estate office a few years ago and started out performing the guys who’d been there for two decades. They got f*cking pissed. As you continue to succeed I think you’re going to see some bitterness from people who just couldn’t cut it. But that’s a mean thought and you’re a nice person, so let’s move on. You have a favorite promotion to work for?

Portia Perez: I really enjoy working for SHIMMER, because they really offer me and all the other women on the roster a chance to show what we can do. I also have gotten a lot of opportunities there to work with people with people I wouldn’t have otherwise had the chance to work with, so that’s allowed me to improve myself a lot and have some really fun matches. Other than that, I also really like going to places like Cleveland All Pro Wrestling and Irish Whip Wrestling, who gave me some great opportunities very early on and where I’ve made some really great friends in the process.

GRUT: You have a favorite person to wrestle yet?

Portia Perez: That’s really tough to say. I really enjoy working with people like Daizee Haze, Sara Del Rey, Eden Black, and Ariel. But at the same time, I’ve had some really fun matches against people like MsChif, ODB, and Nikki Roxx, but haven’t had as many chances to work with them as some others, so it’s a tough call.

GRUT: Nikki Roxx has too many x’s in her name. The second x is silent. There should never be a silent x. What’s the Kosher Pickle?

Portia Perez: Maybe rather than a silent ‘x’, the second ‘x’ should just highlight the first ‘x’, so it’s Nikki ROCKSSSSSSSSSSS! instead of just Nikki Rocks!, you know what I’m saying?

Anyways, the Kosher Pickle is formally known as a Tornado Tomikaze, but may be better explained as a Tornado Unprettier. I hook the person for a Tomikaze (or Unprettier), and run up the ropes and spin out in to the move. The Portly Pickle, meanwhile, starts with me on the second rope, I underhook my opponent’s arms, and flip over in to the Tomikaze/Unprettier.

GRUT: That sounds very cool. And we can’t just go around throwing together xxes and pronouncing it as CKSSSSSSSS. It’s anarchy from that point on. How’d the whole pickle motif get started with you?

Portia Perez: The Kosher Pickle has a very uninteresting (not really sure if that’s a word) story, as it was pretty much just a random joke amongst myself and some of my friends. As for the Portly Pickle name, I believe Benjamin Sailer came up with the move, or at least the idea of me doing the move, while I was in Minnesota. On the way home from Minnesota, myself and another Canadian wrestler named Ash were in a truck stop in Wisconsin around 3 a.m. and saw these enormous pickles called Portly Pickles, and thus the Portly Pickle was born.

GRUT: Ah. Yes. The old Kosher Pickle joke. You’re 19 and you’ve performed all over North America, Canada and Europe. You’re on your way to being a top star in Shimmer, the top female company in the US, and you’ve worked for ROH, the top Indy in the US. What do you attribute your success to?

Portia Perez: I think it’s a combination of a huge number of things. I’ve had pretty solid training, great support from my family, a lot of help from a lot of very gracious wrestlers and promoters, and while you can’t ALWAYS be at the top of your game or in the best spirits, I’ve always tried my very best to do the best I can.

GRUT: Great answer, and thank you for not pointing out that Canada is part of North America. Do you have anything you’d like to plug?

Portia Perez: I’m heading down south for ten days in September, wrestling in Tennessee, Arkansas, and Texas, among others. You can check out my web-site www.portiaperez.com or my Myspace at www.myspace.com/portiaperez for complete details. Also, SHIMMER is back in Berwyn, IL on October 13th.

Oh, and buy my shirts!!

Portia Perez: I think it’s also necessary to remind people that there are only 70 shopping days left until my 20th birthday

GRUT: She likes porcelain Unicorns, people. The Portia frickin Perez: Ridiculously Awesome shirt is a very cool wrestling shirt. It’s only 20 dollars plus shipping and handling from Canada, so the total cost is, once you do the currency exchange, HOLY SHIT? $150 US BUCKS? What happened to the US dollar? Fucking Bush.

GRUT: You Canadians got it so easy.

Portia Perez: It’s a steal at $149.99

GRUT: It is a pretty shirt. Plus it’s Hitman colors.

Portia Perez: I sided with Owen when I was little, I always cheered for the bad guys

GRUT: Bad guys ruled. I went to Nassau Colosseum for my 10th birthday to see Bad News Brown (Allen) versus Hulk. I cheered like crazy for Bad News. You always been a fan?

Portia Perez: Yep, since I was about two or three. I was a huge fan of Shawn Michaels, Owen Hart, and 1-2-3 Kid.

GRUT: You liked the pretty high flyers. Any one standing out now to you as someone to watch? Besides yourself, of course.

Portia Perez: I’m a huge fan of Johnny Gargano in Cleveland, and also Red Vinny in Ireland. As far as women go, there are a ton…..21st Century Fox, Lexxus…..the list could go on for awhile.

GRUT: More xxes? What’s with you girls? Hey, it’s Bryan Danielxxon. Doesn’t work!

GRUT: I’m sorry. This is my issue, not yours.

GRUT: Or should I say ixxue?

Portia Perez: Maybe I should change my name to Portia Perezzzzzzzz

GRUT: See, the multiple z works. But not too many or it represents sleeping.

Portia Perez: Have you seen my matches? It could be very appropriate.

GRUT: Hey! You’re awesome. I was at the tag match in Long Island with Sara and Daizee and other girl. Did you hear the crowd? They only thing they cared about during the match was you. Don’t sell yourself short young lady, you have a unique look and a big future.

Portia Perez: LOL I was just kidding-ish. Also, Daizee’s tag partner was Ariel the great, in case anyone was wondering.

GRUT: Everyone was wondering.

GRUT: Any last words for our readers before I let you get back to playing hockey or something Canadian? Petting a moose, I don’t know.

GRUT: Like a catchphrase or something?

Portia Perez: Buy my frickin’ shirt. They always seem to listen to me when the word “frickin'” is involved. Oh, and thanks for all the support, it’s frickin’ great.

GRUT: It’s our f*cking pleasure. Sorry! Frickin. Go to www.portiaperez.com to buy the frickin shirt and learn more about this star of the future. Thank you so much Portia.

Portia Perez: Thanks very much.

She then told me she had to go work out but she said to say hi if I ever saw her online again. If you get a chance to watch Portia Perez work, tell her I say hello. Tell her I’ll never forget the hour we spent online together. And finally, most importantly, let her know that by giving her this free press at such an early stage of her career I stake claim to 5% of all of her future earnings from this point on, including all of her bookings made prior to meeting me. Read your interview contract Portia! Nothing is free! Nothing!

Sweet girl. You should check out her stuff.