Screw RAW, let’s have at the GOOD stuff…
The SmarK 24/7 Rant for World Championship Wrestling – December 28 1985
– Your hosts are Tony & David, as per usual.
– Sam Houston v. Tony Zane. Apparently Sam is now a protégé of Magnum TA, which I hope doesn’t include driving lessons. Typical headlock and armdrag sequence to start and that goes on forever, and leads into the bulldog to finish at 3:38. Well that was a lot of nothing.
– Tully Blanchard stops by to talk up the Bunkhouse Stampede.
– The Midnight Express v. Mark Cooper & Josh Stroud. Jim Cornette calls out the Rock N Roll Express before the squash to kick off one of the all-time great NWA feuds. The MX quickly tee off on both jobbers, but can’t hang with Mr. Cooper and want Josh Stroud back in. OK, that was weak, I can admit it. Of course, if the white guy turns out to be Cooper, the whole bit is totally shot to hell anyway. They toss Stroud and Bobby clotheslines him from the top to the floor, as they seem to be in a particular bad mood this week. Back in, Condrey stomps the crap out of him and Bobby goes up with the Alabama Jam kneedrop variant to set up a lariat from Condrey to finish at 3:32. Quick and dirty.
– Arn Anderson v. George South. Arn wrestles South down and drops a knee to start, then adds a slam and a kneedrop. He starts working the arm and that goes badly for South as you’d expect. Hammerlock slam and he stomps on the arm, but South comes back with a sunset flip. Arn blocks and then casually finishes with the gourdbuster (face-first suplex, for whoever it was who asked me) at 3:12. This was textbook AA.
– Ric Flair cuts his last promo of 1985, so proud of himself that he just has to strut for the camera. But onto business! Ask anyone, he’s the best.
– Rocky King v. Mac Jeffers. Jobbermania is running wild! Rocky works a headlock and dropkicks Jeffers down, but gets clobbered from behind. Mac chokes him out on the ropes, but King powerslams him for two. Rocky tries for a hammerlock, but Jeffers makes the ropes quickly. Rocky slugs him down, but runs into a forearm that gets two for Jeffers. Big elbow takes King down again, but he fights back with a standing powerslam to finish at 4:01. Rocky bears a startling resemblance to Darnell from My Name is Earl at this point, I should note.
– Magnum TA is ready for Ole Anderson and Ric Flair is on the horizon if he wants some of this, too.
– Black Bart v. Jim Jeffers. Bart slugs away to start, but Jeffers fires back and stands his ground. Rollup gets two for Jim, but that makes Bart mad. Jeffers keeps coming with a crossbody for two, however. Bart pounds away on the ropes and David is all “Oh yeah, Bart says he’ll break all right…break off Jeffers’ chest!” Oh, TAG! Jeffers continues on with an armdrag into an armbar and he works on that, but Bart hits him in the face and slams him to take over. Another slam is reversed for two ala Ricky Steamboat, as Jeffers is showing some spunk out here. Back to the armbar but Bart pounds him down again, so Jeffers fights back and follows him into the corner with a running knee. Another try yields a dropkick and Bart runs away. Another dropkick misses, however, as the glorious Jeffers underdog run ends much like that of the Rockies, and Bart finishes with a legdrop at 4:38. Bart did nothing out there tonight. **
– Jim Cornette returns to present Tony with a tennis racket tie from Mama Cornette and again points out that the Rock N Roll may have beaten every team in the NWA, but have yet to defend the belts against the Midnights, because they’re COWARDS. YELLOW cowards. That’s the worst kind of coward! Cornette takes the tie back to emphasize his anger.
– US title: Magnum TA v. Ole Anderson. No one-minute squash for Magnum here. They fight over the lockup and then Ole takes him down with an ill-begotten wristlock, but Magnum fights up quickly and goes after Ole in the corner. Ole grabs a bearhug, but Magnum slugs out of it until Ole thumbs him in the eye and rams him into the turnbuckles. Elbowdrop gets two. Ole chokes him out on the ropes and starts on the arm with the standing armbar. He pounds on the arm in the corner, but TA takes no shit and slugs him down. So Ole gives it right back and they trade punches from their knees in one of those cool spots that only works when the fans buy into both guys, and Magnum wins that slugfest and gets two. And now Magnum goes after the arm, so Ole goes to the eyes again and chokes him down in the corner. Magnum is dazed, but he fights back and they show fisticuffsmanship until Magnum slams him for two. He goes back to the armbar on Ole and hammers on the shoulder, getting angrier, and Ole decides to egg him on by hitting him with more cheapshots in the corner. Ole headbutts him down, but Magnum keeps slugging with some good looking punches, losing his temper more and more. Finally Ole suckers him into the corner and yanks him into the post, and Magnum hits the floor, paying the price for his short temper. And we take a break.
Back with nothing cut (a rarity in itself) as we pick right back up with Ole suplexing him into the ring and going to the chinlock. And now Arn joins us at ringside to cheer his (brother/cousin/uncle) on, which draws out Dusty Rhodes to even it up. Ole and Magnum trade punches again, but Ole throws an elbow to drop him and goes up. Magnum catches him on the way down with another shot, and a forearm shot gets two. Ole takes him down with another cheapshot and then follows with a big boot for two. That was new. Piledriver is reversed by Magnum and he follows with a dropkick for two. Small package gets two. Ole goes to the eyes again and chokes him out on the ropes, but Magnum reverses him into the turnbuckles and they slug it out in the corner. Magnum pounds away there and follows with a legdrop, but it misses and they slug it out from their knees again. Collision and both guys go down, but Magnum is up first because he’s all man. Ole retreats into the corner and fights dirty as usual, so Magnum headbutts him and they’re both the worst for wear because of it. Ole kicks him in the gut and goes to the eyes yet again, then stomps him on the mat. This is great because they sold the shit out of all the small stuff, really emphasizing how tired they are, so all they have to do is little things like slams and suplexes and the crowd goes nuts, because they totally buy the exhaustion. Just terrific selling here. Ole fights off another comeback and elbows him down, and an elbowdrop gets two. Pin in the corner gets two, but the ref sees his feet in the ropes. Magnum uses that to fight back, dropkicking Ole and slugging away, then hitting an axehandle from the middle rope for two. They slug it out and Ole runs away because the time limit has apparently expired, but Jim Crockett comes out and rules this match MUST CONTINUE…after the break.
Back with Ole pounding Magnum into the turnbuckle and slamming him into an elbowdrop, but another one misses and now things really pick up. Arn trips up Magnum and the crowd goes crazy, but Magnum rolls up Ole in the confusion and retains the title at 21:01. Fan-freaking-tastic. ****1/4 Best Ole Anderson singles match I’ve ever seen. And that ends the Championship Challenge Series. However, Crockett announces The Superstars on the Superstation prime time special in February for the grand finale, where the fans will vote and pick four matches. Please GOD let them show this, because that’s got the Midnights v. the Rock N Roll for the tag titles and it was an awesome show if I remember correctly.
– NWA World title: Ric Flair v. Ron Garvin. And we’re not done yet! Garvin hiptosses him out of the corner and into a flying headscissor takedown to start. Flair escapes and tackles him down, but Garvin hiptosses him again and gets a short-arm scissors this time. Great stuff as he rolls Flair around the mat with it, which looks nasty. Flair decides to start throwing chops, and Garvin is right in there with him for that, absolutely punishing him in the corner and getting a double-leg pin for two. Flair takes him down with a hammerlock and starts stomping on the arm, then goes back to the chops in hopes it will work this time. It doesn’t. Garvin headbutts him in the corner and backdrops him out, into an elbowdrop for two. Garvin keeps going back to the headlock, so Flair tosses him to break and then sends him shoulder-first into the ringpost. Back to the apron as Flair pounds away, and we take a break. David is INDIGNANT at the commercials interrupting the match. Back with Garvin fighting for a pin, but Flair chokes him to gain position and pounds away from the mount. They trade chops again and the Hands of Stone puts Flair down, so Garvin wakes him up with more sick chops. Flair Flip and he ends up on the floor, but Garvin chases him and they chop each other on the floor. Back in, Garvin gets a crossbody for two and Flair begs off. Garvin shows no mercy, only chops, and Flair finally gets a backdrop suplex to stop the momentum. Kneedrop gets two. Flair tries the suplex, but Garvin reverses it and gets nothing because Flair is in the ropes. Sleeper, but Flair breaks with the kneecrusher and now the Flair fans are getting more vocal. And now we go to school, tough guy. Garvin takes that as a challenge and beats the hell out of Flair in the corner, then chokes him down on the mat. Note to self: Don’t insult Garvin’s manhood. Flair desperately fights back with chops and chokes him, but Garvin no-sells it and tackles him down in manic fashion. Another knockout punch, but Flair falls into the corner, so Garvin backdrops him out. Flair slows it down with a headlock, but Garvin reverses into the pinfall reversal sequence and the backslide gets two. David is just having a coronary out there. Hands of Stone in the middle, but Flair is in the ropes again. Damn his long legs! Garvin slugs away on the ropes, but Flair goes low and then crotches him on the top, and THAT’S finally enough to slow him down. Flair has had enough and tosses the ref for the DQ at 14:51. This is quite the show, as they were just beating the hide off each other. ***1/2 Dusty quickly saves and it’s time for an Anderson beatdown, as the proto-Horsemen try to break Dusty’s leg again. Sadly, they don’t succeed, as the jobber brigade fights them off and rescues the Dream.
– Back at the podium, Ole Anderson complains about people interfering in their matches and having to worry about someone attacking from behind. The Andersons pledge to guard Flair’s title until the day he decides to retire. Can you feel it coming? We’re almost there!
– The Italian Stallion v. Pablo Crenshaw. Stallion gets a pair of slams and elbows Crenshaw down, then follows with a press slam for two. Crenshaw fights back, but the power of the Stallion is just too awesome, and he elbows him down again for two. He hits the chinlock and a snapmare gets two. Backbreaker and powerslam gets the pin at 3:03. Man, Stallion AND Rocky King winning squash matches in the same show?
– JJ Dillon joins us to deny rumors that Baby Doll has quit as Tully Blanchard’s manager and he’s taking over. But he’s got a surprise coming up, regardless.
– Dusty and Magnum have HAD ENOUGH, daddy. They’re gonna go take matters into their own hands. And so they do.
– Tully Blanchard v. Kent Glover. No Baby Doll here, so I guess Tully needs new management after all. Tully goes for the leg to start and quickly finishes with the slingshot suplex at 2:08.
This show was a big plate of awesome covered in awesome sauce with a tall glass of awesome to drink. That middle portion was the best hour of wrestling I’ve seen in a very long time, and this was without a doubt the best episode of this show yet. I hope this company never goes out of business.
