The SmarK 24/7 Rant for World Championship Wrestling – April 26 1986
– Computer geek recommendation of the week: Firefox 3 Beta is pretty damn cool and is now getting smarter about my browsing than I am, which is kind of scary.
– Your hosts are Tony and David.
– So the Road Warriors have won the first Crockett Cup, beating Magnum TA and Ron Garvin in the finals, and that pretty much meant nothing since they didn’t win the tag titles for another two and a half years after this anyway.
– But first! BABY DOLL IS HURT! God no, not Baby Doll! She’s such a delicate flower! And speaking of delicate flowers, Ricky Morton is also injured and I pray to GOD we get clips of that later because it’s both incredibly historic and graphically violent.
– Jimmy Valiant v. Kent Glover. Jimmy hiptosses Glover out of the ring to start and then back in for a backdrop. Glover runs away, but Jimmy sends him into the post. Back in for the nerve hold, and the elbow and elbow finish at 2:42.
– Manny Fernandez announces that he and Valiant are now "B & B Incorporated", which of course stands for "Bull and Boogie". I kept thinking that his turn on Valiant was around here, but there’s still no signs of it. Sorry if that’s a spoiler.
– Manny Fernandez v. Art Pritts. Fernandez works the arm and kicks Pritts down, then takes him down with a hammerlock, cranking on the arm. Over to the corner for some punishment, and Manny goes back to the arm after blocking an irish whip. Now THERE’S something you don’t see, almost ever, because it exposes how utterly stupid the irish whip really is. Criss-cross and the Flying Burrito ends it at 4:10.
– JJ Dillon is out to announce that the NWA has banned Ron Garvin from using that hand tape, so he’s forced to undo it before his squash match.
– Ron Garvin v. Paul Garner. Garvin is really pissed now and David points out he’s going to take it out on the jobber, and he sounds HAPPY to say it! Garvin wrestles Garner down and punishes him, then picks him up for a backdrop suplex and ties him up on the mat. Garner fights up and Garvin takes him down with a headlock, then switches to an abdominal stretch and rolls him onto the mat for another submission move. Garner fights out, so Garvin elbows him down and backdrops him, but he can’t use the Hands of Stone, so he headbutts him down and splashes him to finish instead.
– The Road Warriors, with Hawk looking particularly amped up, celebrate their Cup win and look ahead to beating up the Russians some more.
– The Road Warriors v. Jeff Smith & Randy Mulkey. Hawk presses Mulkey to the floor with an absolutely SICK "thud", then hits Smith with a flying shoulderblock and powers him into a body vice. Must be using the GOOD shit this week. Flying splash finishes at 1:40.
– And speaking of the good shit, David Crockett throws to a match between Ricky Morton and Ric Flair at the Omni, where Morton gets a clean pin on him to win a six-man elimination tag. But then, Flair and his buddies follow Ricky into the dressing room and RUB HIS FACE INTO THE CONCRETE! That is still stunningly violent and brutal even by today’s standards. It’s also, for those keeping track, generally accepted as the beginning of the Four Horsemen from an official standpoint.
– Baron Von Raschke & Shaska Whatley v. Lee Peak & Bill Tabb. Peak gets beat up in the corner to start and the Jones army brings Tabb in for a double elbow and there’s many forearms thrown. Tabb tries to come back, but runs into Baron’s knee and gets choked. Shaska slugs Tabb down and it’s back to Peak, who gets backdropped by the Baron. Peak gets tossed and takes a nasty bump to the floor. Back in, choke choke choke and Baron cradles him for two. Bearhug and he pounds Peak down and into a chinlock and it’s more clubbing forearms and choking. I think the point was MADE like 5 minutes ago, let’s wrap it up. I guess it’s still better than Barbarian so I shouldn’t complain. Nah. Kneedrop from the Baron and it’s back to Shaska as we take a break. And IT’S STILL GOING. Now back over to Bill Tabb, but he quickly tags out to Peak and Baron gets a backbreaker to set up Shaska for a superplex to finish at 8:59. C’mon, if you’re gonna book guys in a 10 minute squash, why does it have to be Paul Jones and his circus of bald foreigners?
– The Man is out to reinforce that Dusty Rhodes is DONE, no more title shots, EVER. And he means it. Ever. Especially not in July at the Great American Bash! OK, I made that last one up. Oh, also, he really enjoys the company of multiple women, and maybe now Ricky Morton will think twice about getting in his face again. You know, that’s why Flair was so awesome — just when he was getting so cool and dominant that people might start cheering him, he goes and does something so awful and so indefensible to someone that people love, that you just had no choice but to hate him. I mean, he attacks this smaller pretty boy who just beat him fair and square, and not only that but attacks him four-on-one, and not only that but he maims him by rubbing his face into the concrete. Randy Orton should take notes.
– Wahoo McDaniel v. Jim Dawson. Wahoo works a headlock and then chops Dawson down for the pin at 1:36.
– Apparently the Wahoo issue is not quite dead yet, as Jimmy Garvin is out to give him some gifts, mainly kids’ toys and beef jerky. See, now this is really making Wahoo look like a punk, because Garvin is calling him out week after week, and now Wahoo is standing RIGHT THERE and still won’t even answer Garvin’s challenge.
– More awesomeness as the Midnight Express calls out Dusty Rhodes, and then beats him up and Baby Doll as a bonus. THAT was pretty shocking stuff, even by today’s standards. The implication is that they did damage to her ovaries in some form by hitting her in the abdomen. David Crockett’s disgusted "You’re a BIG MAN, aren’t you?" is great, and this put huge heat on the Express and set up Midnights & Cornette v. America’s Team & Baby Doll all over the country. And that would set up ANOTHER great angle, as they’re really starting to click up and down the card at this point.
– Dusty and Magnum join us to reinforce that they’re behind Baby Doll 100% and that women are people too.
– The Rock N Roll Express v. Ron Rossi & Bob Owens. Ricky’s all Phantom of the Opera this week and he’s pretty pissed. He even gets a cheapshot on Owens while Robert holds a full-nelson. More double-teaming and Ricky comes off the top with a fist and it’s over to Rossi to try. The RNR elbow him down and finish with the dropkick at 1:56.
– Jim Cornette rubs the attack on Baby Doll into Dusty’s face, much like Ricky’s face into concrete. He’s tired of people putting his hands on him. You know what would be good to fix that? A bodyguard.
– The Midnight Express v. Rocky King & George South. Hey, the jobber A-team. Dennis chokes Rocky out, but Rocky comes back with a sunset flip for two. Over to South for a wristlock, but Eaton clobbers him. South keeps coming with a dropkick and it’s back to King for a nice dropkick, but Eaton is one step ahead and dodges another one. Backbreaker and he goes up with the Alabama Jam, and Dennis drops an elbow for two. Over to South, but he gets nowhere and misses a dropkick, allowing the Express to double-team with a backdrop suplex into a flying elbow to finish at 2:33. Pretty subdued for these guys, actually.
– Ricky Morton lets Flair know that it is not he who is the punk, but rather Flair who is the punk. Sounds like something a PUNK would say.
– Tully Blanchard v. Mike Simiani. Tully slugs him down and drops an elbow, then another six of them and a forearm that turns him inside out. Slingshot suplex, goodbye at 0:40.
– The Koloffs still want Magnum.
– World TV title: Arn Anderson v. Gene Ligon. Quite the challenge for AA here. Arn takes him down and works on the arm to start, then hits the hammerlock slam and drops a knee on the arm for two. Wristlock takedown and he cranks on the arm and holds the armbar. Spinebuster and gourdbuster end it at 4:20. Funny to think of a time before the spinebuster had a name.
– JJ Dillon and the Three Horsemen send Tony packing to finish without him. They all talk the talk and JJ wraps it up on behalf of Tony and David.
Nothing here from a wrestling standpoint, but two FANTASTIC angles to start setting up the Bash tour right after the Crockett Cup make this a must-see.
