The SmarK Rant for WWE Night of Champions 2008

PPVs, Reviews, Top Story

The SmarK Rant for WWE Night of Champions 2008

– Really, you’d think that "Clash of Champions" would have been a better name. I think it’s an interesting idea to try to put more focus on the titles by making every match here a title match, but it kind of defeats the purpose when there’s so many titles that you can do a whole PPV of title matches in the first place.

– Live from Dallas, TX

– Your hosts are many and varied.

Smackdown tag titles: The Miz & John Morrison v. Finlay & Hornswoggle

Well, the in-ring introductions are gone, as I feared. Finlay pounds on Morrison to start and gets a short clothesline for two. Slam and he goes to a quick nerve pinch, but Morrison dumps him and then follows with a pescado, which misses badly as he lands on the curtain around the ring. Whoops. The champs double-team Finlay and go after the midget, but Hornswoggle runs away and Finlay comes in to whomp on the champs. Double buttsplashes and the champs bail, but Finlay puts Morrison back in. Mick Foley actually compares Finlay’s butt to his own, although JR notes that Mick’s in a class by himself when it comes to that department. Miz holds a chinlock on Finlay, then catapults him into a Morrison forearm for two. Finlay comes back with an atomic drop on Miz, but Hornswoggle tags himself in and actually takes Miz down with a headscissors and a bulldog for two. Cheapshot from Morrison puts him down, however, and Hornswoggle is apparently going to be the midget-in-peril. The champs fight from their knees and put Hornswoggle down with a double clothesline. Miz showboats too much and misses a blind charge, but Morrison cuts off the tag and sets up for a powerslam. Hornswoggle escapes and it’s hot tag Finlay, and he powerslams Morrison for two. Missile dropkick gets two. Regal Roll and he dumps Miz, and the Celtic Cross into the Tadpole Splash looks to finish, but Miz dumps Finlay and Morrison slams Hornswoggle to retain at 8:52. They played it a lot straighter than I thought they would, and really targeting the midget was the smart game plan. I’m pretty into Miz and Morrison at this point. **3/4

US title: Matt Hardy v. Chavo Guerrero

Chavo gets a rollup for one to start, but Matt grabs a headlock and overpowers him. Corner clothesline and fistdrop gets one, and Matt backdrops Chavo and follows with another corner clothesline. Chavo ducks a bulldog attempt, however, and clips the leg before going to work on it. He wraps the leg around the post and gets two, but Matt comes back with a bulldog for one. Chavo takes him down again and works on the leg, but Matt boots him out of the ring. Chavo comes back in via the top rope, but misses a splash and they collide for the double KO. Matt is up first and they slug it out, with Matt getting an elbow for two. Chavo fires back and they fight for a backslide, but Chavo flips out of it, and Matt counters with the Side Effect for two. Yodeling elbow gets two. He goes up again and Chavo yanks him down and applies a half-crab, but Matt quickly makes the ropes. Twist of Fate is blocked, so Matt turns it into a DDT instead and gets two. Another Twist is blocked by Chavo and he rolls into the half-crab again, but Matt again makes the ropes. Chavo goes for the leg and Matt hits the enzuigiri, but Chavo recovers with the rolling suplexes…which Matt turns into the Twist of Fate to retain at 9:22. Serves Chavo right for using that move. So the US title goes to ECW for some dumb reason. Matt seemed kind of grounded and they were off on a lot of stuff, but it was Perfectly Acceptable Wrestling. **1/4

– Let us take you back to RAW, where Crazy Old Vince gets crushed by his own set, because apparently there’s some karmic lesson involved in giving away money to the deserving.

ECW World title: Kane v. Big Show v. Mark Henry

Ah, the in ring intros are just for the World title matches, I guess. Kane cleans house to start, but Show pounds him in the corner and they slug it out, which leads to a DDT for two from Kane. Show tosses him and we go with Show v. Henry in the ring instead. Show grabs a headlock and slams Henry pretty easily. They slug it out while the trainers check on Kane, although the fact that they draw attention to it makes it seem a little fake. Show clotheslines Henry and both are out, but Kane returns to the match with a flying clothesline. He hits both guys with corner clotheslines, but walks into Henry’s bearhug. He escapes and whips Mark into Show’s big boot, and they team up for a double chokeslam on Henry that gives Show two. They fight over the pin and slug it out in the corner, but the Kanezuigiri puts Show down. Kane goes up and gets caught in the chokeslam, but that only gets two. Kane sits up, so Show puts him down with something not entirely unlike something that might be described as a sort of suplex, and gets two. Show goes up (?) and Kane slams him off, but Henry splashes and pins Kane to win the title at 8:16. This once again reinforces why I don’t watch ECW. As slow and plodding as you’d expect. *

RAW tag team titles: Hardcore Holly & Cody Rhodes v. Ted Dibiase & The Mystery Partner.

And yes, Cody Rhodes turns on his partner and lays out Holly to reveal himself. The Millon Dollar Dream gives them the tag titles at 1:31. No match, just an angle.

Meanwhile, JBL complains to Todd Grisham about not being booked on the show. And Texas is a bunch of losers.

Intercontinental title: Chris Jericho v. Kofi Kingston

I’ve never even seen this guy wrestle. Jericho hides out in the ropes and grabs a headlock, then boots him down and tosses him. Kofi catches himself, however, and comes back for the criss-cross, but Jericho bails. Kofi follows with a pescado, and back in for a crossbody that gets two. Kofi slugs away in the corner, but Jericho dumps him. Back in, Jericho stomps the back and they fight over a suplex on the apron, but Jericho wins that for two. Backbreaker submission, but Kofi knees out of it, so Jericho dropkicks him. He chokes away on the ropes and into the abdominal stretch, and somewhat amazingly for this boring match, the crowd is still hanging with Kingston. Jericho chokes him on the ropes again and they fight for a superplex while the crowd starts the "boring" chant. Kofi falls on top for two and makes the comeback, headbutting Jericho down, but he misses a splash and Jericho goes for the Walls. Kofi rolls him up for two. Clothesline and legdrop gets two. Rana gets two. Jericho puts him down again with a clothesline and the Lionsault follows. Walls of Jericho follows, but Shawn comes out of the crowd and distracts Jericho long enough for Kingston to spinkick him and win the title at 11:01. Really? Bob Charlie from Super Punch Out gets the belt? Not a really auspicious PPV debut for him but people seem to like the guy. ** Jericho punches Shawn in the eye yet again afterwards.

Meanwhile, Edge and La Familia hang out backstage and Edge schools his Edgeheads on how he doesn’t need any help in beating Batista.

And hey, a commercial on a PPV, terrific. Vince and Cena shill for Gillette Fusion. I admit, I love that razor as well.

WWE Women’s title: Mickie James v. Katie Lea Burchill

Katie gets a backslide to start for two, and a rollup for two. Mickie comes back with a monkey flip and goes up, so Katie bails to take a breather. Katie takes her down on the way back in, but Mickie hits her with a seated dropkick for two. And Katie runs away again, before coming back in and working the arm, but she runs into an elbow. Katie hammerlocks Mickie and sends her into the corner, but Mickie comes back with the Thesz Press. Katie pounds her in the corner, but Mickie takes her down with a rana and comes back with clotheslines. Katie misses a high kick and Mickie snapmares her with the hair and gets two. Katie goes back to the arm, but Mickie gets the DDT to retain at 7:18. Total trainwreck, as they missed everything and appeared to be on different planets. 1/2*

World heavyweight title: Edge v. Batista

Edge goes for the headlock, but gets powered down and goes to hide in the corner. Batista tosses him and they brawl outside, and back in for an elbow that gets two. Batista works on the back and whips him into the corner for two. Jackhammer gets two. He clotheslines Edge to the floor, but Edge sends him into the post to take over. Batista recovers and Edge baseball slides him onto the table, which is a nice bump from Batista. Back in, Edge chokes away on the ropes and takes him down with a drop toehold to stop a comeback. Neckbreaker gets two. Edge goes to the chinlock and then takes Batista into the turnbuckle with another drop toehold to cut off the comeback. Neckbreaker gets two. Back to the chinlock, but Batista fights up, so Edge gets a rollup for two. Edge clotheslines him, but Batista comes back and pounds him with shoulders in the corner, into a Bossman slam for two. Spear gets two. And now the crowd’s getting into it. Edge reverses out of the demon bomb, but Batista powerslams him and gets another try. Edge reverses to the DDT for two. He tries to follow with the spear, but runs into Dave’s boot. Batista goes up, but Edge dropkicks him out of the air in a spot you wouldn’t think you’d see in this match. Both are out and Vickie Guerrero gets wheeled out by the Edgeheads, but Edge misses the spear and the spinebuster gets two. Vickie pulls out the ring to stop the count, but Batista dodges Edge and sends him into the post. Edge pulls out the ref to stop THAT count, and knocks him out, but Vickie demands another referee. Which happens to be Chavo in a ref’s shirt. Batista goes after Vickie and presses her onto La Familia, but Edge hits him with the belt and Chavo counts the pin at 16:50. Strange how wrestling works, as Batista + Undertaker is good and Edge + Undertaker is good, but Batista + Edge is merely OK. Slow match with a dead crowd, although the near falls and involvement of Vickie got the crowd going by the end. *** Batista milks it while waiting for the big ovation from the crowd, but it doesn’t happen.

RAW World title: HHH v. John Cena

Pretty clear that HHH is the face here. HHH wins the power battle and adds a crotch chop, but Cena goes to the headlock and the crowd even boos THAT. Cena clotheslines him and adds the Marine salute, then tackles him and pounds away. Suplex gets two. Cena gets a shoulderblock, but HHH ducks another one and Cena lands on the floor like a goof. Back in, HHH works on the back and adds a suplex, then drops an elbow. Whip to the corner, twice, gets two. They start a slugfest and the crowd does the "Boo / Yay" thing, but HHH goes up and lands on a boot. Cena comes back with shoulderblocks and the backdrop suplex, but HHH prevents any shuffling. High knee and facecrusher set up the Pedigree, but Cena escapes and hits the neckbreaker. Cena goes up with the top rope legdrop, but HHH fights off the STF. We can’t see him, but HHH can, as Cena walks into the spinebuster. Pedigree is reversed again and HHH hits the floor, acting like he suffered a leg injury. Cena follows by ramming the knee into the post. Back in, Cena takes out the knee and tenaciously hangs onto the leg, fighting off HHH’s escape attempts, but HHH gets the ropes before he can hook the STFU. FU is countered with KICK WHAM PEDIGREE, but it only gets two. I thought only Hulk Hogan and HHH’s own children would be allowed to do that. Cena recovers first and it’s an FU, which gets two. They both slug it out for the big Boo-Yay spot, but Cena hits the backdrop suplex again and reaffirms that we can’t see him. Five Knuckle Shuffle finally hits, but HHH grabs the ropes to block the FU. STFU follows, however, and HHH has to fight for the ropes. Cena drags him back to the middle applies it again, but HHH counters to a nasty crossface. Cena powers up and into the FU, but HHH elbows out and it’s KICK WHAM PEDIGREE to retain at 19:40. Man, Cena’s been choking in the big match all over the place lately. Wasn’t quite the epic "moment" they were hyping, but it was a solid match where no one was really sure who was going over, so it had the drama that it needed. ***1/2 So both titles are on Smackdown, I guess.

Overall, a couple of good matches to end the show, but not enough to make the show worth going out of your way to see. I’m curious how they’re going to get a World title back onto RAW, although really I’d be happier if they just unified the damn belts and made people actually care about title matches again. Pretty predictable, booking-wise, aside from Cena got getting the belt back. Thumbs in the middle, leaning up.