Randy Orton comes out to set up his new heel stable, insulting Santino and Beth, talking about Dibiase and Rhodes getting their title belts back (since the belts were stolen by Cryme Tyme) and calling CM Punk a disgrace to the title. Orton’s delivery is great. He’s a perfect cocky heel and could legitimately believe everything he’s saying about Punk’s “nobody†past, swipe at Ring of Honor included. This draws out Punk who says Orton got his spot because of granddaddy and daddy, while Punk earned it. He mocks Randy’s injury and says Orton’s just jealous because he can’t get the title, while Punk has matches to win and will cut everything short. Well, Orton’s now guaranteed to cost Punk the title it seems. Punk’s delivery isn’t on par with Randy’s, but Punk’s smirk is great.
Orton leaves, so JBL comes out to say that Punk’s fairytale will end at the PPV (and show everyone why he’s one of the best mic men in the business). JBL will take the title from anyone he hits with his finish. Mentioning Rey Misterio, Jr. draws out Kane who notes that he never saw JBL’s clothesline in hell when he was there, but Rey is currently in hell and won’t be at the show tonight or Sunday. Batista comes out, spears everyone, and the segment is done. The spears were weak, but that was still pretty cool.
Its injury night on Raw and here comes Cena…. or not. It’s Charlie Haas pretending to be Cena. He’s going to get great heat for this.
Match 1: Charlie Haas vs. Kofi Kingston
They have a decent athletic back and forth with Kingston getting offense in flurries whenever Haas tries any Cena maneuvers. Haas works stiff and foes better with strikes than Cena’s stuff. Kingston hits the trouble in paradise and we’re done.
Kofi Kingston defeats John Cena (Pin, Trouble in Paradise, *)
Short and Haas can do more, but it’s better than his previous role of not being on TV and at least gives him some personality. Hopefully it leads to some good momentum being built for a bigger push, but for now this was a fun, fast and athletic match.
Backstage Cody Rhodes and Ted Dibiase, Jr. confront Orton and Cody gets slapped. Orton says that they’re the most talented in the locker-room and need to take a stand. The next generation stable will be great.
Mike Adamle and Teddy Long talk backstage about a Battle Royal between all the Scramble Contenders. Kane comes in and is mad Mike says Rey is coming back. Mike was just sending a message that Rey is needed on Raw. Kane says Rey is too beaten to show, but Adamle can keep hoping.
Match 2: ECW Battle Royal: Matt Hardy vs. Chavo Guerrero, Jr. with Bam Neely vs. Finlay with Hornswaggle vs. The Miz vs. Mark Henry with Tony Atlas
Well, this isn’t what Adamle just said backstage. Henry is jumped immediately, but fights back effectively and it breaks down into the usual brawling around. Chavo tries to betray Miz and eliminate him, but Henry gets rid of both of them.
Finlay and Hardy try to go after Henry, but Henry is too strong and gets rid of Finlay. Hardy controls momentarily, but he’s dumped too going for the twist of fate.
Mark Henry wins the Battle Royal
That was fun, if not actually good.
Match 3: Jaime Noble with Layla vs. William Regal
This could be awesome, but it probably won’t be. Regal squashes Noble, working quite stiff, but Noble gets a lucky roll up win.
Noble defeats Regal (Pin, Roll up, *)
An impressive ass whupping and Noble’s storyline is cute with motivation most fans can relate to. Shame he got over Regal in the process.
Kelly Kelly and Mickie James are up next…
Match 4: Kelly Kelly, Mickie James, and Candace Michelle vs. Beth Phoenix, Jillian Hall, and Katie Lea Burchill
This starts with Jillian singing terribly and being interrupted by Mickie and Kelly. Beth gets on the mic and says how he’s unmatchable. This draws out a returning Candace with only the caveat that she’s not very good.
The faces do well momentarily, particularly Katie, but Mickie James takes a beating and ends up playing a much hotter Ricky Morton. Candace gets the hot tag and controls Beth Phoenix with strikes and a botched headscissors. Candace hits a top rope cross body but Beth rolls through… the struggle and Candace steals a win with a roll up.
Kelly Kelly, Mickie James and Candace Michelle defeat Beth Phoenix, Jillian Hall and Katie Lea Burchill (Pin, Roll Up, * 1/2)
Tag formula worked pretty poorly here. Kelly Kelly had no reason to be in this, as a tag match would have made a lot more sense. James heat segment was good, if short, but Candace was botcheriffic on the comeback.
Jericho and Shawn video package.
Match 5: WWE Intercontinental Champion Santino Marella vs. D’Lo Brown
Santino debuts the Honk-A-Meter comparing how long he’s IC champion to the Honky Tonk Man. He has two weeks and Honky has 64. What a brilliant gimmick. This I’m looking forward to! The match that follows is not for the title.
D’Lo controly, but misses a frogsplash and Santino, in a great little things moment, backs into a pin.
Santino Marella defeats Brown (Pin, missed frog splash, *)
This would be more effective on a show that didn’t have Noble winning with a fluke pin earlier on the same show. Even so, Santino’s new gimmick if amazingly funny and will get great crowd reaction for whatever face stops him.
Now on WWE 24/7 Raw from MSG features Austin giving everyone the Stunner, including Vince, for the first time.
Match 6: John Morrison and The Miz vs. Cryme Tyme of Shad and JTG
I guess the Miz is pulling double duty. Cryme Tyme is attacked on the ramp by Miz and Morisson before Dibiase and Rhodes come out to beat the hell out of Cryme Time and reclaim their tag titles. The match never happens.
Backstage Orton, Dibiase and Rhodes pass each other, stopping to glance lovingly into one another’s eyes.
Yay, a report from the Republican National Convention. I don’t care. You don’t care. Vote if you want. Next.
Batista gets mic time. His gameplan is “destroy everyone.†They’re setting him up to be a really cool wrecking ball.
Oops, it’s main event time! No Evan Bourne really sucks.
Match 6: Raw Battle Royal: Batista vs. Kane vs. JBL vs. World Heavyweight Champion CM Punk
Orton is ringside. The match begins and there’s no Rey.
Batista owns the start of the match, but Punk quickly eliminates him before turning into a boot from JBL. JBL charges and Punk drops him too. Punk kicks Kane into the corner, but Kane’s too strong and outbrawls the Straight Edge Superstar. Punk tries to come back with the knees in the corner, but Kane is too tough. Punk tries for the GTS, but Kane gets a near elimination. Punk tries to springboard in, but Kane catches him and chokeslams Punk out.
Kane wins the Battle Royal
That was fine for angle advancement.
Orton claps slowly in Punk’s face and Punk throws water in his face.
Rey Mysterio comes out to a great response and eats on Kane using his speed. All of that was really cool and Rey looked amazing beating the hell out of Kane.
Mr. Perfect Curt Hennig DVD. Get this one if you’re a young fan to see a true great. Just a note to all who love Brock in MMA: Hennig beat the piss out of him on that plane.
The contract signing between Chris Jericho and Shawn Michaels is our main event. They sign the contract while Lawler hosts. Jericho asks why Michaels has so much security. Michaels says the security isn’t his. Jericho and Michaels agree to send away the security and Lawler. Jericho says he took Shawn’s advice and sat his wife and kids down to tell them he would never be like Shawn Michaels and forbid them from watching Unforgiven because of what Jericho will do to Shawn then. He will put Shawn out of his misery and he won’t say “he’s sorry†because he’s proud and will finish Shawn. Michaels will have his family not tune in either. He will be proud and tell them how he spit in evil’s eye. He will destroy Jericho and never apologize for the man he is. He’ll never forgive Jericho, but hopes God will forgive him for what he does to Jericho. Cade tries to sneak in, but Michaels catches him and attacks him before chasing Jericho away. This segment goes down as an absolute classic.
