Welcome to Pulse Glazer, your friendly Wrestling Analyst. I’m known as a Ring of Honor expert around these parts and author ROH Weekly every Friday. I also wrote a regular general wrestling column entitled A Modest Response. AMR was slowly becoming a WWE column anyway and, with the ‘E’s current hot streak, I’m back watching anyway, so now is the perfect time to take the plunge and change the format to all the in-depth WWE Raw analysis you demand. AMR will still show-up from time to time as an occasional feature. Without further ado, onto the column we go.
Quick News
For a guy who spent half his career diving onto flaming boards, Mick Foley sure is a bitch.
I can’t believe he quit, not just his announcing position, but the entire WWE over Vince McMahon yelling at him. WWE has the rights to a majority of his legacy, the tapes of his career and going to TNA does nothing but taint the possibility of more releases. Also, I hope he’s watched the company he’s joining lately, as it’ll take a miracle to create the old Foley magic on Impact. For more, be sure to check out Andy Wheeler, who is foaming at the mouth to rip into Mick.
According to the Observer, WWE is replaying Raw in CMLL’s spot in Mexico
This is really huge news as CMLL does the second best business in the world to WWE and has the top drawing wrestler currently in the world in Mistico. This leaves CMLL without major T.V. potentially and in a huge conundrum as fans would be conditioned to believe they are second rate. WWE appears to have taken their Worldwide Brand expansion to mean that they can just take over the television of their competitors, just as they did in the 1980s when they destroyed the territories. Let’s hope CMLL is a craftier opponent than the fragmented territories and can find a way to survive before WWE or, their other Mexican competitor, AAA can pick off their top talent. Mistico alone is too talented not to draw anywhere and if he stays loyal, CMLL should find a way to land on their feet.
Angle might be angling for a return to the WWE
I see no reason for WWE to show interest. He’s a serious health and public relations mess, constantly getting into trouble and making wild claims in interviews, while he badmouthed Vince, Triple H, and the WWE to no end upon his release. Even his workrate has been sliding backwards at a precipitous rate. Meanwhile, Kurt proved not to draw ratings in TNA, though he could pop a buyrate when properly handled, that increase is only notable for TNA as it would be a drop in the bucket to WWE’s current numbers. Hope you like TNA, Kurt.
In other news, JBL still isn’t Stan Hansen
For more WWE News, including some intriguing (and one annoying bit of) DVD News, check This Week in ‘E.
The House Show Rundown
This isn’t a results and reaction section, more of a who works with who, as a headstart to what feuds are going on and potentially being looked at. All actual results are credited to www.F4wonline.com.
On the Raw side, Noble is working with Regal and going over, while Cryme Tyme is jobbing to Dibiase and Rhodes. Expect both feuds to continue naturally. Santino has been defending the IC belt against Haas, while D’Lo beat recent ECW debutant Jack Swagger. I don’t expect either are more than filler. Rey is going over Kane in no DQ matches, likely building for their eventual stipulation match on PPV after Kane does something horrible to Rey, while Jericho is doing filler 3-ways with JBL and Batista. The latter two are feuding, but I expect Jericho to fill time with either Punk or go in a different direction.
Wrestling the Issue
CM Punk lost his title in a match he wasn’t in. Minor uproar on the IWC
Yes, I know it’s a week old, but I figured I’d better address this since I’m among the net’s staunchest Punk supporters and recently penned this article on CM Punk as champion. CM Punk losing the belt in the manner he did is absolutely fine. Here’s why.
There are two purposes to giving a wrestler a title. The first is the reason CM Punk got the title. If a wrestling title has enough credibility attached to it, then a new wrestler winning said title will be elevated. As the original title chronicled, Punk went from losing to Chavo Guerrero to being a legitimate threat to perennial title contenders like Jericho and Batista, even going over JBL on numerous occasions. That was due to the credibility the title bestowed upon him. Now, he has lost the title, but due to smart booking, he remains at the level he was when he had the belt.
Losing the belt would hurt more after a short reign, but Punk held the title for several months, through a “big 4†Pay Per View. That alone adds credibility. He wasn’t in the match wherein the title was lost, being injured backstage prior. Some have taken issue with the manner in which he was hurt, but the head kick has been established as capable of severely injuring opponents and wrestling fans have been, through tragic circumstances, conditioned to take concussions with complete seriousness. Punk has also shown through this that he has developed enough babyface sympathy for the new main event heel stable to get heat by forming and costing him the title. Now, Punk looks like an uncrowned champion who had to be eliminated before a match to lose his title. Even without the belt, that’s a good position to be in.
The other reason that the belt had to come off Punk is the other function of a title. Along with elevating a wrestler, a title can be used as a reward for someone who gets especially over and is doing particularly quality work. In this manner, the title becomes an impetus for a feud, while gaining prestige as the focus of absolute top guys at the top of their game. Chris Jericho is currently doing the best heel work of his career. He’s amazingly hated and his mic work is, as everyone has already noted, phenomenal. He’s smarmy, self-righteous, and completely unlikable, while being a dangerous opponent who backs up his cockiness in the ring, much to the crowd’s disgust. Putting the belt on him validates all the great work, pointing him out to everyone as the top guy currently, while he continues to get heat on himself and his title run due to how he won the title and how he’s handing himself.
Yes, Jericho having the belt truly adds prestige to the title, but it also manages to keep Jericho elevated. His recent amazing work has been during the Shawn Michaels feud, a feud which he ultimately lost. In losing the man he played such a wonderful antagonist to and losing to that man, he would ultimately have no direction left for his smugness and loathing, except that the title adds a new dimension to his narcissism, especially since the title is undeserved in kayfabe. With his recent return from retirement, lackluster feuds, then fantastic turn and work since, this provides the character validation, while elevating him past also-ran status, whether to Shawn Michaels in this feud, Randy Orton upon his return, or even Triple H all those years ago.
Punk was elevated by the title and the manner in which he lost it cost him none of that elevation, while in the process getting over the new heel stable. Jericho was able to grab the belt in a character appropriate manner, thus both becoming the standard bearer of the company for his great heel work and elevating himself around past mishaps.
The Smarkish Raw Ranty Short Review Thing
The cage is lowering as Raw begins. Lawler looks terribly impressed.
Match 1: World Heavyweight Title Match: Chris Jericho © vs. CM Punk
Full review for this one.
Punk is on fire after a staredown and he’s hyped with a ton of great strikes. Jericho tries to be an opportunist and turn a whip to the corner into a cage escape. Punk naturally stops him and uses strikes on the top rope to take down Jericho. He tries to escape, but is stopped. His vicious strikes, however, don’t stop as he takes it to the champion.
Punk has controlled so well, he tries a Go to Sleep, but Jericho counters, so Punk just throws him into the cage instead as we go to a commercial.
We return to find Jericho working Punk’s leg, as after catching Punk’s leg during commercial while Punk attempted an escape, he went to work. Punk makes a striking comeback, but takes the Walls of Jericho. Punk drags Jericho, while in the Walls out the door and almost crawls to the floor, but Jericho slams the cage door on Punk’s head. Awesome spot.
Jericho goes right back to work on Punk’s leg. Punk shows his psychology, blocking the Lionsault with his good knee and then kicks the crap out of Jericho. He goes for the knee in the corner for a second time, but Jericho moves and makes sure Punk goes head first into the cage. Jericho dropkicks Punk’s head into the cage. Makes sense, since Punk missed the title match and lost the title due to a concussion.
Jericho tries to escape, but Punk grabs him in Go to Sleep position on the top rope. Jericho escapes that and another battle on the top rope commences until both collapse. Jericho goes to the eyes and tosses Punk into the cage before going for another escape, but takes an electric chair drop this time stopping him.
They battle, crawling for the door, tooth and nail as both are nearly out. Punk smashes Jericho’s head into the cage and then takes a headbut, but Jericho falls out the door and gets the lucky win!
Chris Jericho wins by escape (****)
Jericho is being built as an opportunist a la Edge, while Punk shows he has arrived as a main eventer, controlling the majority of the match and it’s pacing, timing and building his high spots on the climb out. His striking was too much for Jericho who failed miserably at attacking the leg. Punk’s concussion ultimately cost him the match as his headbutt stunned him, allowing Jericho to cause the victory. The great psychology carried this one.
Adamle is in the back and yet another earnest kid, Nick Nemeth was it? Says hello. Jericho comes up to discuss No Mercy. The promo is fantastic. It’s Jericho’s point of view overcoming odds and how valuable he is to Adamle as champion. He’s lucked into everything, but naturally doesn’t see it that way and the naïve Adamle is the perfect patsy for him.
Kane cuts a promo about removing his mask, with the old mask on. He took the mask off to be accepted. Rey is loved with a mask. Kane wants revenge because everyone hides behind masks, while he is honest and mocked for it. Killer promo from Kane, likely his best ever. Evan Bourne wanders in to interrupt Kane, saying Rey paved the way for him. Kane laughs.
Jillian sings. It’s terrible.
Match 2: Candice Michelle vs. Jillian Hall
Beth Phoenix follows Candace ot the ring and Candace somehow doesn’t notice until she’s nearly in the ring.
This match not good. Candice needs to be off T.V. until she figures out how to work or just be a valet.
Candace wins with the Candy Rammer (*)
Candace is business exposing-level bad.
Beth Phoenix gets in the ring then dropkicks her as she tries to get in. Oh my, what heat. Next.
Match 3: JBL vs. Tommy Dreamer
Warning! JBL is NOT Stan Hansen. Any comparisons thereof will result in my immediate and unending hatred. Thank you.
JBL squash and Clothesline from Hell. Warning! This was NOT the WESTERN LARIATOOOOOOOOOO, but just the Clothesline from Hell. Any comparisons thereof will result in random Western Lariats flying your way.
JBL defeats Tommy Dreamer (Pin, Clothesline from Hell, dud)
Squishity squash.
JBL stages a sit down strike in the ring until Adamle agrees to make him the number one contender. Damn, JBL hasn’t lost in enough title shots yet?
Orton comes out to confront JBL and say he isn’t impressed with Bradshaw. He says when he’s ready to return he’ll immediately be champion. SANTINO! (with Beth Phoenix). This just got about 500% more fun. He makes fun of Bob Orton who was always hurt, while Santino’s papa was always healthy, besides herpes. This is the king of promos. JBL and Santino demand apologies. JBL says he knocked out Batista, which Orton could never do. Batista is now out. He threatens to beat on everyone, but cuts on them first. They can all have title shots when he’s champion… except Santino’s, his shot goes to Beth.
Adamle says everyone has to wait until later for an official decision. Batista beats up, JBL, but JBL escapes and Santino takes a spinebuster. Beth slaps him twice to great heat before taing a spinebuster on Santino’s face. Killer segment. From when Santino showed up to the finish, this was pure gold.
Match 4: Manu, Cody Rhodes and Ted Dibiase vs. Jerry Lawler, and Good Ol’ Charlie Haas, Kofi Kingston
Haas is a bit too close to Oklahoma, the WCW Ross knockoff. Lawler is faking a smile with a mean look in his eyes in the background. I’m currently discussing Lawler’s merits as a worker on the only message board I frequent. Apparently, he’s among the best workers ever, so I’m hunting down some old Memphis… hopefully with not too much of the Memphis stall, which gains great heat live but is torture on DVD.
Lawler takes a heat segment after a babyface shine by Kofi. Haas gets the hot tag as Cole does a pathetic Ross imitation and bad Ross jokes. Oklahoma Stampede is attempted, but Dibiase hits the Million Dollar legsweep to finish Haas.
Manu, Cody and Dibiase defeat Haas, Lawler and Kofi (Pin, Million Dollar Legsweep, *)
There wasn’t much here. Haas’s other imitations were a lot better done and funnier.
JBL wants to team with Jericho, but Jericho remembers JBL costing him the title against Orton. Continuity! That makes up for the last segment!
Match 5: Jaime Noble vs. Paul Birchill
Noble taps him out quickly.
Noble defeats Birchill (Submission, cross arm breaker , * ½)
Really short but noble is good.
Layla comes out to dump Noble to stick with Regal.
Batista wants to be number one contender and chokes Lance Cade for interrupting.
Match 6: Kane vs. Rey Mysterio
Kane should just wear Rey’s mask and be the Gorilluchadore for the rest of his career. Not like anyone will miss current Kane. He’s just a fill in the blanks for top guys when they have a break between feuds.
They did a decent back and forth, with Rey using speed but having trouble keeping control due to Kane’s power. Eventually Kane just beats the piss out of Rey until he’s DQed.
Rey Mysterio defeats Kane (Disqualification, * ½)
Rey should have just come out to talk and been jumped.
Kane tries to take Rey’s mask, but Evan Bourne saves and they double team Kane. I couldn’t have any less interest in Rey vs. Kane, but Rey vs. Kane with Bourne around and I’m so there! Unless something big comes up, expect a column on Bourne’s push next week.
Jericho and Cade are out to discuss who gets the title shot. JBL will face Batista. Winner gets Jericho immediately because Jericho had to have two matches in one night to become champion. Adamle comes out to agree, but winner faces the champion on a different night, so Jericho faces HBK, Shawn Michaels! Michaels announces the stipulation and it’s a Ladder Match! Sweet. The PPV is now must buy.
Overall a very good Raw. The first match was great, the mid-show promo was great. The finale wasn’t a huge surprise, but it’s a legitimate payoff. The rest was mostly filler, but what folks pay for delivered in spades.
The Middle W
This isn’t a reference to our soon to be ex-President, but rather the Wrestling in World Wrestling Entertainment. Jim Cornette once said “Wrestling fans tune into a wrestling show to watch wrestlers wrestle.†For me, at the very least, this is certainly the case and I watch a ton of wrestling from all around the world. Each week I’ll be attempting to broaden WWE fans horizons with a review of a great match they might not have ever seen.
UWF International, and the company that preceded it in style, UWF, was promotion founded on worked shoots in Japan in 1991. Worked shoots aren’t fixed MMA fights, but rather wrestling matches without many of the unrealistic moves, most notably high flying and running the ropes. Added to this to increase realism is a focus on striking and submissions. There’s a point system as well, which you can find an explanation for on youtube, but it won’t come into play here. The match we’ll be reviewing today can be found on numerous comps and in 3-parts on Youtube. If you enjoy this and want more or are just curious, contact me and I’ll help get you started.
UWF-I: Vader vs. Nobuhiko Takada
A year prior to this match Nobuhiko Takada, the company founder and ace had broken Vader’s arm legitimately with a cross armbreaker. Vader, the monster heel of WWF and WCW fame is back and wants revenge. Despite winning the previous encounter, facing an angry Vader anyone is an underdog.
This would be higher, but Takada’s strategy was quite questionable. He could essentially take down Vader at will and had an advantage on the mat, but tiring the behemoth out was his strategy with body knees and head kicks. Perhaps he questioned the big man’s stamina due to his size and layoff due to injury. Unfortunately for Takada, that left Vader nailing one or two big counters and Takada being down and nearly out. With Vader’s huge strikes, an armbar was almost cinched by Takada numerous times, but Vader learned from their previous encounter and was fast to fight away fromt hat. Vader’s quick fists behind the ref’s back were awesome psychology to establish he was a heel, and Takada’s constant rising, particularly at the end when he had nothing else was some of the best believable babyface stuff I’ve ever seen. **** ½
That’s it for the column this week. Any questions or comments, just hit the link below. Hope you enjoyed and check by Friday for Ring of Honor Weekly and every Tuesday for more fromThe Wrestling Analyst on Raw. Until then, be careful of stray Western Lariats.
