Celebrity Championship Wrestling TV Report (Week 7)

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Week 7: Recap All Skills

  • Five men remain and we recap last week’s show.
  • Todd Bridges shows the shiner on his ass.
  • Danny Bonaduce is ON TIME!
  • Dennis Rodman is on the spot for being too stiff.
  • This week’s three moves: Arm drag, basic chop, & bodyslam.
  • Everyone slams everyone, except Butterbean.  Nobody can slam the Mean Bean.
  • This week’s matches: Diamond v. Bridges v. Bonaduce & Butterbean v. Rodman.
  • They train the moves in the locker room.  The chop hurts everyone.
  • We’re talking receipts galore and Rodman is just giving Bean a dirty look.
  • Rodman gotten soft all of a sudden.
  • Hogan comes in and he checks up on the big man match.
  • Hogan makes for a great motivator.
  • Danny Bonaduce wants to bleed tonight.
  • Hulk asks Bonaduce, Bridges, & Diamond to pull some magic.
  • Rodman and Butterbean beat Nasty to practice.
  • They wrap everything up.
  • Hulk shows up with world renown wrestling doctor, Dr. Under.
  • Everyone passes inspection, except Dustin Diamond, who has everything wrong with him.
  • Dustin decides to gut it out, then get checked out.

Triple Threat Match: The Winner v. Mr. Not-So-Perfect v. “Dangerous Danny” Bonaduce

They start off by trying to see who takes the deal first.  This causes Todd to be our face in trouble.  Danny and Dustin work Todd over like a ragdoll.  They trade weak chops and Todd exits the ring the hard way.  The doublecross works as Danny’s nuts go opposite ways on the top rope.  The fight spills to the outside and Danny gets drilled to the steel barricade, then drilled against Todd’s head.  Dustin “Diamonds Up”, not impressing Hulk.  Todd comes back, taking Dustin out and comes back inside to give Danny a snap armdrag.  Todd tries to bash Danny against the corner, but Danny misses the turnbuckle and meets steel instead in a real shocker.  Dustin comes back in and gets scooped up.  Dustin gets tossed and Todd nails a cross body onto the two men outside.  Dustin and Danny try to steal the win, and that alliance ends just as quick.  Dustin takes a foreign object and sticks it in his elbow pad and takes out the competition.  He pins them both.

Winner: The Winner

Battle of the Big Men: One Mean Bean v. Rodzilla

They stare down in the ring.  Rodman gets a good start going and Bean is already in trouble.  He takes and beats on Bean for a count of nine and he bites the noggin!  Rodman crashes against Bean in the corner and Bean is bleeding from the nose!  This makes him pissed off and Bean tosses him out of the ring.  Bean RAMS RODMAN AGAINST THE RAIL!  Rodman tries to bodyslam Bean to no avail.  Double Axe Handle connects and he bodyslams Rodman on the floor.  They go to a nearby table and Bean bodyslams Rodman to the table!  Bean with a chair and bashes Rodman in the back.  There’s your “receipt”, Rodman.  Bean struts and he jumps around the ring.  Big splash on Rodman and that gets two!  Bean bashes Rodman against the corner and nails a big ass chop!  Hogan is amazed.  Rodman gets CRUSHED in the corner and Bean does it again.  Bean drops the elbow for TWO!  Rodman gets bashed in the corner and he HULKS UP!  Rodman clotheslines Bean to no effect, but the flying forearm takes him down.  The flying clothesline attempt is STOPPED as Bean hits a wicked side slam for the pin!

Winner:  One Mean Bean

Rodman beats the snot out of Bean with a trash can until he falls out of the ring.  Talk about a poor loser.

Bischoff calls out Rodzilla for being too stiff on his opponents.  Hogan calls out Bridges and says that he needs more control.  Bischoff likes how Butterbean stays in character, but his covers are weak.  They are safe tonight.  It is down to Dustin and Danny.  Hogan doesn’t understand how Dustin’s chops and kicks can be so bad.  He doesn’t understand how come Danny can hit someone as hard as his character he portrays.  Hogan says that Danny is a fan favorite and this is your toughest call all season.  Danny Bonaduce is your official TWO-TIME Jabroni and he’s gone for good!

Your final four is Butterbean, Todd Bridges, Dennis Rodman, & Dustin Diamond.

What lies ahead for the finale?  I’ll have that report up Saturday evening!

Paul Marshall has been with Pulse Wrestling since September 2007. He currently does a weekly WWE Column titled "This Week In 'E". Follow him on Twitter here.