The SmarK DVD Rant – Remake-O-Rama!

Film, Reviews, Top Story

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The SmarK DVD Rant – Remake-O-Rama!

What happens when I get three DVDs that I’m not passionate about enough to warrant separate reviews? I find a common thread and do a WACKY three-in-one review! I’m funny like that.

The Films

We all know that Hollywood is severely lacking in creativity these days, and really the writer’s strike didn’t help matters any. Which is probably why we’re getting a neverending stream of movies adapted from old TV shows, old movies, or Broadway musicals. And by no small coincidence, I’ve got all three!


Get Smart, released in the summer and kind of left to die amidst the action-adventure juggernauts that were Indiana Jones and The Dark Knight (hey, now there’s a movie for you — Indiana Jones and the Dark Knight! Harrison Ford fighting Nazi Batman? Awesome.) was intended to showcase Steve Carrell as the modern version of Don Adams. But the primary problem here is that this is the very definition of a movie without anything to say about anything. The original TV show was a witty satire of spy movie culture, with ridiculous gadgets like the shoe phone and Cone of Silence, set in a time where Cold War paranoia was a very real thing and a subject ready to be skewered by the brilliant mind of Mel Brooks. Today, what more needs to be said on the subject of spy spoofs that the Austin Powers series didn’t already cover and then beat into the ground? The movie itself is pleasant enough, with Carrell as a likeable pencil-pusher who desperately wants to be a field agent, and the story tries far harder to make sense than anything the TV show ever did, but at the end of the day do we really need another ’60s TV show made into a movie? I think what bugged even more here was that they almost went with a kind of generic action-comedy feel instead of being a specific genre spoof like the original TV show was, because my standards for action movies are a lot higher than my standards for silly comedies are. If they were wanting to go that route, they should have just thrown out the whole concept and cast Dwayne Johnson as Agent 86 instead of arrogant Agent 23. The Rock of course steals the movie in his limited scenes, showing once again that he needs better scripts in this genre and he’ll be a breakout star with the right role. It’s a nice enough movie and strives very hard not to offend anyone in the slightest, but I wouldn’t classify it as anything more than a rental. Bonus features are more impressive in the two-disc special edition, although the main feature boasts one of the most annoying extras I’ve ever seen: The "Smart Takes" alternate scene track. Basically once it’s turned on, the movie will grind to a halt and require you to press enter after loading a telephone booth screen, which then allows you to watch alternate takes (most of which are far funnier than the ones used in the movie, to be fair) and deleted scenes. I don’t mind these kinds of branching features, but it’s done far better in movies like Knocked Up where it’s more seamless. This one is about as seamless as getting hit in the face with a shoe phone. The second disc contains the remainder of the extras, which comprise a bunch of featurettes and ads for the Bruce and Lloyd Out of Control spinoff (itself basically a 90 minute deleted scene from this movie), plus the ever-annoying Digital Copy. I don’t know who would feel passionate enough about this movie to watch them all, but there you go. I do like the cover of the DVD case, however, with the lenticular image of 86 and 99 trading the lead role, so it gets some extra points for that. (Overall rating: ***)

Death Race, a remake of the Roger Corman schlock-cinema classic, is definitely more passionate and interesting than Get Smart. That being said, that doesn’t make it good, just more interesting. Starring Jason Statham as, what else, a gruff British tough guy who gets caught up in a fight he didn’t want, Death Race shows that if you don’t have a plot or acting, then you can make a very entertaining 100 minute film just by being as loud and obnoxious as humanly possible. Statham plays a former race car driver who gets unjustly accused of killing his wife, and has the bad luck to be living in 2018, where prisons are run by corporations for profit and Nascar races to the death fuel the PPV industry. OK, if you’re laughing with disgust right now, I can pretty much guarantee you’re going to hate this movie right out of the gate, so you might as well just move onto the next section. That being said, this is loud and stupid and is mainly porn for gore freaks and gearheads (Oh look! It’s a guy being crushed into spikes by a Mustang! Cool!) and Joan Allen gives the most laughably horrible performance as a supervillainous prison warden. Like, seriously, by the end of the movie you’re just waiting for her to shoot orphaned kitty cats out of a bazooka or something to emphasize how much of a bitch she is. But the thing is, although I wouldn’t call this "good" by any stretch of the imagination or definition of the word, Statham is just so damned fun as the square-jawed action hero that you can’t help but root for him a little bit. Much like the Rock, he’s a guy desperately in need of a better script than anything he’s been given in the past decade or so. Yeah, every movie he’s in features him beating the shit out of guys and driving cool cars, but that’s the POINT. I was just waiting for him to escape the drek that surrounded him in this movie and bust out with a great line or some cool way to kill one of the REALLY bad rival drivers, and it unfortunately couldn’t live up to the promise. But director Paul WS Anderson sure as hell blows the shit out of everything on screen in a losing effort, and it’s got Ian McShane as a grizzled pit crew leader, so it’s definitely worth a rental for Statham fans if nothing else. Special features are sparse, befitting a movie that was pretty quiet at the box office, with two featurettes about the special effects and a commentary from the director. (Overall rating: **1/2)

And finally, treading ground that’s been a popular area these days, Mamma Mia! goes the route of remaking a musical. Given the success of the Broadway show, you can’t blame them for this one. And hey, I’m not afraid to say that I love ABBA’s music, so I was curious to see how well they’d pull this one off. And although it was a rough start, once you get enough into the movie to get sucked in by the soundtrack it makes for a pretty fun and pleasant 2 hours. The silly plot sees Amanda Seyfried inviting three potential fathers to her wedding, as she’s not sure which one impregnated her mom (Meryl Streep in a role that’s definitely not playing to her usual strengths). And since it’s a musical, they sing lots of ABBA songs, some better than others (Pierce Brosnan doing "SOS" and Christine Baranski nearly ruining "Does Your Mother Know" spring to mind immediately on the bad side), but it’s all in good fun. And given the success of this and Hairspray, it’s a safe bet that this kind of harmless musical diversion movie will be making a strong comeback as Hollywood mines every potential of source of ideas they can. If it means a big screen version of "Avenue Q", I’m all for it. The bonus features on the single-disc version are a bit light, as you’d expect. You get a "Sing Along" track, which is basically subtitles turned on for songs during the movie, plus a deleted scene for "The Name of the Game", and a director commentary. This one was a particularly popular Christmas gift for the women out there, and no wonder — it’s a gloriously fun movie and an easy way for husbands everywhere to score Brownie points this winter. Definitely worth the buy for ABBA fans and musical enthusiasts. (Overall rating: ****)

So the surprise winner this time out is Mamma Mia!