And don’t let him make you think otherwise.
For some reason, Sean “Diddy” Combs seems to think that everyone else in the world is completely fascinated with his floss-heavy way of life, divulging random thoughts and details of his day-to-day, via Internet video blogs, including everything from his preference to dry off his body with air fans as opposed to towels, to the fact that he likes foot massages almost as much as sex and prefers “Merry Christmas” to “Happy Holidays.” He even dropped $750,000 on an audition tape to be the next James Bond, which was basically a waste of $750,000 for the sake of vanity, as Daniel Craig doesn’t plan on quitting any time in the foreseeable future.
In what seemed like at the very least a meager attempt at some humility (though about as transparent as Dasha Astafieva’s dress… don’t click on the preceding link if you’re at work or in the presence of children), though, The Ad Hoc Award-Demanding Piece of Shit announced earlier in the month that he felt bad for fans affected by the economic recession, and pledged to stop wearing ridiculously expensive jewelry and clothing until the economy has recovered. “Out of respect, I’ve been trying to dress less flashy,” he told reporters for the New York Post. “It’s one thing to be stylish; it’s another to be over-the-top. You gotta know when to hold back and not rub it in.”
But now it seems as if one of the world’s richest mouth-breathers has either decided to renege on his decision already, or perhaps he’s just forgotten that he ever said what he said. After all, he tends to speak gibberish just about every time opens his mouth, so it’s understandable that he wasn’t paying attention to what he was saying, since most of us tend to tune him out as well. This has been evidenced in a recent stunt in which he’s appealed to the City of New York, in an attempt to change the iconic New Year’s Eve ball into one covered in blue lights, in order to make it look like the logo for Cîroc Vodka, for which he has been an endorser since 2007. (While he had also at the time proclaimed it “the official vodka of New Year’s Eve,” it doesn’t seem to have had much of an effect on the general public, with the proclamation having about as much credibility as Lil Wayne proclaiming himself “the greatest rapper alive.”) He says that he’ll shell out $1 million in order to make it happen, though city officials have yet to bite.
“As the official vodka of New Year’s Eve, it’s only fitting that we take over New York, the most iconic New Year’s city in the world,” Diddy said in his latest cry for attention. “I’m going to give every adult in America a taste of what it’s like to enjoy a sophisticated celebration with Diddy, and what better time than while ringing in the New Year.”
Diddy, please do STFU. Yes, the money’s apparently going towards a charity of the city’s choosing, but why can’t you just donate the money, since you’re so rich and unaffected by this economic condition that we’re in, and slip modestly under the radar? I know that’s not your style, but if you willing to ditch the “bling”, why not ditch the ego, too? Why does this, like everything else you do, have to be some sort of statement verifying how powerful you are and how delusional you are to think that anyone’s gives two shits and/or a rat’s ass about you? Even if the City doesn’t accept your offer, you should give money to charity. Then you should go and hide in a cave in Waziristan, the mountainous region in northwest Pakistan, with Osama bin Laden, so that we’ll be guaranteed to never see you again. Expect more shenanigans as we get closer to the presidential inauguration, possibly those involving Diddy trying to get Barack Obama to take the oath while wearing a Sean John jumpsuit.
(gritsandeggs.com, egotastic.com)
