The SmarK 24/7 Rant for World Championship Wrestling – August 23 1986
– Your hosts are Tony & David, with assistance from Jim Cornette.
– Sad news to start, as the Rock N Roll Express have regained the World tag titles from the Midnight Express, and America mourns as Nikita Koloff has taken the US title home to Moscow.
The Rock N Roll Express v. Mike Rose & Phil Brown
I wish they’d get to “Boogie Woogie Street” so they can stop editing “Rock N Roll Is King” out. Cornette is of course bitter on commentary. Double dropkick kills the fat guy dead at 0:25.
– RNR gloat about winning the belts back (well, I assume Robert was gloating, because who the hell knows what he’s saying).
– Let us take you back to Charlotte for the final match in the Magnum-Nikita series, as Magnum piledrives Ivan on the concrete in a nasty spot and hits the belly to belly on Nikita, but the ref is distracted by Khrusher. Magnum goes after him, Russian chain to the head follows, and we have a new US champion. David’s reaction to all of this is classic. I really have to take back all the bad stuff I’ve said about David Crockett after watching these shows for a couple of years now, because he really sells the emotion of what was going on. Nikita declares that the feud with Magnum is OVER and now he’s looking for better competition, like Ron Garvin. Apparently Ivan now gets Magnum.
Clement Fields, Paul Garner & Bill Tabb v. The Andersons & Tully Blanchard
The Horsemen switch off on Garner’s arm while Cornette echoes my sentiments and mocks Clement Fields for having such a stupid name. He says what we’re thinking! Especially if you’re a bit of a rac…eh, I won’t go there. The Horsemen pound away on Garner and Arn finishes with the gourdbuster at 2:42.
– The shocks keep coming, as Dusty gets another rematch for the World title…but Baby Doll TURNS on him. Holy shit, I didn’t even remember that one. Is it wrong of me to note that Baby Doll in a tux is pretty hot? The Horsemen do the beatdown and Baby Doll leaves with them to huge heat. In a post-match interview, Flair informs us that Baby Doll was tired of Magnum’s skinny little arms and wanted a real man. Remember that, kids!
Magnum TA v. Art Pritts
I’m guessing Magnum is pretty pissed. Wham bam thank you ma’am and we’re done.
The Road Warriors v. Kent Glover & Lee Peak
More quickies as the Warriors toss the jobbers and Hawk destroys Peak with a shoulderblock, then press slams him onto Animal’s knee. Ouch. Over to Glover and Animal powerslams him and Hawk adds a big boot and clothesline to finish at 1:23.
– Dusty Rhodes is pretty upset and something gets bleeped, so you know he means business.
The Midnight Express v. The Mulkeys
I don’t envy the Mulkeys here. Dennis beats on both of them by himself and chokes him out in the corner, and Bobby drops the flying knee without even bothering to take his jacket off. The Mulkeys desperately switch off to escape the slaughter but Dennis just won’t stop. Sideslam for Bill and Bobby stomps on his head and adds a side suplex, then Dennis drops knees on his head and Bobby goes up with a missile dropkick before they finish the poor guy with the Rocket Launcher at 7:35. This was quite the squash. Randy then has the BALLS to push Cornette down, so Bubba beats him to within an inch of his life by giving him what I believe is the first ever Bossman slam, and a flying splash from the top! And it wasn’t the usual lazy slam, either, he jumped off the mat and drove his shoulder down into Mulkey on the way down. RIP, Randy Mulkey.
Wahoo McDaniel v. Randy Barber
Wahoo wrestles him down with a headlock while Cornette declares that Mulkey-mania is DEAD. Wahoo finishes with a chop at 0:45.
– Let us take you back to Philly, as the RNR win the belts back from the MX. The Midnights beat the hell out of Ricky and have him beat fair and square, but Robert stops the count and then Ricky pins the illegal man and probably hooks the tights, too. Bunch of cheaters.
Ron Garvin v. George South
Cornette calls Garvin “the Max Headroom of pro wrestling”. Check Wikipedia if you need that translated into English. Garvin beats on South and tosses him, then yanks him back in and slugs him down, setting up an abbreviated Garvin stomp and Hands of Stone for the pin at 1:33. Awesome finish, as South grabs the foot in the spot where you’d normally expect Garvin to do an enzuigiri, but instead he just punches South in the face and pins him.
– Dick Murdoch wants to wrestle Ric Flair’s pants off. That’s not even taken out of context.
And on that note, we’re out of time! Short but tremendously fun show with a ton of big angles.
