Bam Margera Presents: Where the #$&% is Santa – Blu-ray Review

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This is the most disgusting Christmas special ever. I cant even describe most of the events that go down between Bam Margera and his merry masochistic crew without incriminating myself as a witness to crimes against humanity. The simple story could work for any holiday TV show. Bam wants to get his wife the ultimate gift. He plans to journey to the Arctic Circle above Finland and bring back Santa. This is a heartwarming agenda that could have been used by Andy Williams, Perry Como and Clay Aiken. Except none of that trio would sodomize a guest star with a detached reindeer penis. Maybe one of them would attempt it on Paul Lynde. Like a Christmas eve visit from the merry man in red, Bam Margera Presents: Where the #$&% is Santa should not be seen by children else they risk getting on the permanent naughty list. This is strictly for grown ups or at least people who can buy liquor with a real drivers license.

Bams crew has changed since his early Viva La Bam days on MTV. No longer does he torture Raab Himself, Ryan Dunn, Brandon DiCamillo and Rake Yohn. Theres no explanation for their absence. Don Vito is gone, but thats part of his court sentence. His new batch of friends come off as pirates in training. You dont any real sympathy for their plight. Brandon Novak is the main whipping boy on this epic journey. At no point is it worth questioning why he submits himself to so much abuse. Hes such an idiot that he deserves the pain and embarrassment.

While in Finland, the Bam and his boys hang out with several local bands including HIM and Hanoi Rocks. What a shock to discover Hanoi Rocks members are still alive. Although a close up of the lead guy makes him look like a zombie from Resident Evil. The guys from the Dudesons join Bam in havoc. These guys make Bam looks sedate. They have no problem unloading roman candles on their American freak friends. They act as tour guides while taking Bam above the Arctic Circle to discover Santas worshop. This is a real tourist place in Finland. However most of the “reality” on this special is faked when it doesnt involve pain. Hours before his transatlantic flight, Bam cant find his passport. Yet he gets a replacement passport in time for departure. I dont know anyone who can get a new passport in a matter of hours in these post-9/11 times. But there must be a little bit of holiday magic in this North Pole journey.

Most of the action is really violent and stupid. The Three Stooges would refuse to perform most of these stunts. Theres a subplot involving Mark the Bagger, a Howard Stern wack packer. He sets up a bet with Bam that gives him a chance to sleep with Bams wife. Jimmy Pop of the Bloodhound Gang gives tips on how to buy a tour bus. There are a few moments of skateboarding to remind us that Bam remains a part of the game. But does anyone really follow his skating exploits like Tony Hawk? Bam is Bart Simpson if Marge and Homer put up with his nonsense.

Bam Margera Presents: Where the #$&% is Santa might be the first Christmas special that Bill OReilly and the Pope wont complain about the lack of attention to the birth of Christ. What would Bam do if let loose on a living Nativity scene? Perhaps things that would make a shepherd pray for wolves? There would be no silence in that manger. Although that would be a good start for his follow up video.

The high definition video is 1.78:1 anamorphic. The transfer averages about 30 mbps. The Blu-ray brings out the disgusting nature of stuff inflicted on Brandon Novak. The audio is 5.1 Dolby Digital. The mix is good for field recordings. You get to hear the slap of flesh in all channels. Theres a Spanish dub track. The subtitles are in English, French and Spanish.

Additional Footage (22:08) is like watching an episode of Viva La Bam except without the plot moments. Theres even more footage of them gulping shots of hot wax. They get an amazing amount of build up on their mouths and tongues after the second flaming drink. Theres a great PSA as to why you shouldnt tattoo someone when youre drunk. Skateboarders have nasty wipeouts on Bams ramps. Its an amazing amount of pain worth picking off the cutting room floor.

Photo Gallery has the promotional pics along with location shots.

Trailer (2:25) captures the mayhem.

Bam Margera Presents: Where the #$&% is Santa is the perfect Christmas special for people who cant stand the sweater wearing, clean living, inspirational holiday programs that clog up the tube in December. Did Andy Williams show what it looks like after a reindeer eyeball has passed through his digestive system? Bam Margera reminds us that greatest gift you can give others is to televise their pain and embarrassments to the public.

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Warner Home Video presents Where the #$&% is Santa. Directed by Joe DeVito & Bam Margera. Starring Bam Margera, Brandon Novak, The Dudesons & Jimmy Pop. Written by Joe Frantz, Joe DeVito & Bam Margera. Running time: 93 minutes. Rated R. Released on Blu-ray: December 2, 2008. Available at Amazon.

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