JunkNewsFlash! DJ GABRIEL RESPONDS TO OBVIOUSLY FALSE RUMORS

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After reading about the rumors of his pending firing from WWE in light of the recent brand switch of Alicia Fox, DJ Gabriel went on a bit of a typical WWE wrestler Internet rant. After denying that he would soon be fired, he offered the Internet wrestling sites unfettered access by saying, “So next time a publisher actually does claim something about me, they can contact me at any time. They can contact me on the MySpace, on the WWE Universe site, or even in person at a live event/airport/etc. I’m giving the publishers the chance to contact me, and I can state that the “facts” they are discussing, are only opinions.”

Unable to chase him down at the airport, I unretired for the 34th time from active Internet wrestling reporting (the finest branch of reporting in America) and sent him a MySpace message hoping to clear up some rumors about him. The message was as follows:

Hi DJ Gabriel. I recently heard a rumor that you will become ECW champion after a dance off with Jack Swagger. Also, I heard five rumors about you having a crush on Ricky Ortiz.
Are any of these six rumors true? If so, how true?

Not expecting a response, I sandwiched myself between two of the beautiful women on my love futon and went to sleep. I was SHOCKED when I turned on the computer in the morning and recieved the following response from DJ Gabriel himself:

Rumors…this stuff is nonsense, but I can tell you it is all false. And by the way, what website did you get this info from?

If nothing else, this is the first time a professional wrestler in the WWE has commented to an Internet reporter about a rumor in at least 10 years. So you heard it here first: DJ Gabriel will NOT win the ECW title in a dance off with Jack Swagger, and he does NOT have a crush on Ricky Ortiz. Or doth he protest too much?