We open up tonight’s RAW with Vickie Guerrero bragging about how Edge became the new World Heavyweight Champion. However, she wants to bring out your new WWE Champion, Randy Orton! Orton and Legacy make their way to the ring as the King says that none of the McMahon family is happy about it. The music dies down and the boos and jeers fill the arena as Orton stands in the ring. He is handed the microphone and he looks around the arena. He says that the McMahon family is mourning because their protector, their champion…has fallen. It took Orton five long years to beat Triple H like he did at Backlash. He did exactly what he said he was going to do. No one can say that, only Orton can. Orton makes fun of the key age demographics, saying that they are amounting to nothing. Randy Orton is a success, or so he declares. He made history. He created a legacy that resulted in the destruction of the McMahon family.
We relive the destruction of the McMahon family.
Vickie Guerrero is excited that he is on her show as the champion. She announces his first title defense at Judgment Day against the winner of Big Show and Batista, which takes place tonight. She offers her congratulations. Orton says that he is all they have left and that we may not like him, but we have no choice but to respect him. Vickie Guerrero might be the GM, but the entire locker room will RESPECT HIM! He doesn’t care if they have been here a day or ten years..
TICK…TOCK!
Montel Vontanious Porter shows up on the stage with a microphone. He introduces himself to Randy as M.V.P. He puts him on notice and he does not answer to anybody! Ted DiBiase takes the microphone and says that MVP is not bright. He suggests that MVP leaves on his own power. MVP calls Ted Randy’s lackey and compares them to A & F models. This isn’t the Randy Orton show – it’s MONDAY NIGHT RAW! If Batista or Big Show can’t beat Randy at Judgment Day, MVP will step up. Cody makes it simple and he says that MVP will walk down the ramp and get his ass kicked. Randy whispers sweet nothings in Vickie’s ear and this results in a FIRST TIME MATCH! It’s MVP v. Randy Orton – CHAMPION v. CHAMPION!
Commercials.
We’re back and we recap the WWE Draft. Brian Kendrick, oh sorry…THE Brian Kendrick mouths off at Lillian Garcia. Kofi Kingston comes out and here’s our first match!
Brian Kendrick v. Kofi Kingston
No stopwatch tonight. Kendrick leapfrogs Kingston and slaps him in the face. Kendrick begs off and he takes advantage. Corner to corner we go and Kendrick gets elevated on the apron. Top rope dropkick gets two for Kendrick. Resthold applied in the form of a chinlock. Kingston comes back with the double leg drop and gets two. Trouble in Paradise connects and Kendrick is welcomed to the JTTS group.
Winner: Kofi Kingston
Grade: C-
Big Show is in Vickie’s office and the affair is off! HAHA!
Commercials.
WWE Rewind: Beth Phoenix interrupts the Khali Kiss Kam and gets chopped for her troubles and loses to Santina. She gets topless and…I just threw up in my mouth.
Santina Marella, Kelly Kelly, Brie Bella, & Mickie James v. Maryse, Beth Phoenix, Rosa Mendez, & Jillian Hall
The bell sounds and it’s Beth and Santina to start things off. Santina tries to evade Beth, but she gets some. In comes Brie and Beth slams her to the canvas. To the mouth position and she tags to Jillian. Brie tries to hide underneath the ring. Rosa tries to find her and both Bella twins make their way out with HORNY! Horny hides chases Rosa Mendez. Beth and Maryse chase him and they get hosed with an extinguisher. Santina comes in and rolls up Jillian for the win.
Winner: Santina, Kelly, Brie, & Mickie
Grade: D
After the match, Mickie plays grab ass with Santina, s/he gets a boner, and Hornswoggle is scared.
Commercials.
We are back and we continue the results of the WWE Draft. Matt Hardy makes his way to the ring for a match(!). I thought Matt had a broken hand? The cast is noticeable. He gets on the microphone and calls Jeff Hardy a senseless barbarian. Because of that, he does have a broken hand. He didn’t quit. He had to quit because Jeff broke his hand. He’s being “forced” to wrestle. Tonight, he is wrestling under protest. Oh…God…He’s BACK!
Matt Hardy v. Goldust
The bell sounds and they jockey for position. Hardy gets the ropes and we try again. Hardy evades again. Hardy leaves the ring and Goldust is distracted. Hardy comes back in and HE CHANNELS “COWBOY” BOB ORTON! Cast shot gets three.
Winner: Matt Hardy
Grade: F
Orton walks.
We are back and it is time for our first main event!
Randy Orton v. Montel Vontanious Porter
WWE Champion v. U.S. Champion
The bell sounds and they circle the ring for position. Greco-Roman tie up and Orton is the aggressor. We get a clean break at three. Another lockup and Orton gets a side headlock applied. MVP counters to an arm drag, but Orton takes MVP down and applies a front face lock. MVP gets a wrist lock, but Orton counters to a fireman’s carry takedown. Dual Let’s go Randy/Randy Sucks chants are heard. Chop to the back by Orton and he has his way with MVP in the opening moments. MVP blocks a punch and he fires back! Knee strikes to the chesrt and Orton eats a knee tio the gut. That gets two and Orton is back on the attack. Michael Cole annoys me with the “Cable’s Most Watched show” line. MVP comes on fire with an arm drag and he holds onto the arm. Orton sends him in the corner and resumes control. Corner to corner we go and MVP SENDS ORTON FACE FIRST TO THE TURNBUCKLE! YAKUZA KICK TO THE HEAD AND ORTON IS OUT LIKE A LIGHT!
Damn…Commercials.
We’re back and Orton hits a spike DDT during the break. Orton has MVP in a rear naked choke. MVP comes back, but Orton is ready with the 3.0 backbreaker. That gets two and Orton has a vise grip on MVP’s neck. MVP gets up and he backdrops Orton! Both men get up and they trade haymakers. Orton stops the charge…MONKEY FLIP BY MVP! He charges and Orton has an answer. Jab to the throat…MODIFIED STUNNER! He goes Ballin’ and that gets two! Corner to corner we go. Orton misses MVP, MVP misses the kick and MVP gets tossed outside. Shane McMahon beats THE HELL out of Shane with a Kendo Stick! He drops the elbow and leaves the ring before Legacy can get to him. He celebrates near the luxury boxes.
Winner: Randy Orton via DQ
Grade: C+
Orton is pissed off!
Rey Mysterio v. Great Khali v. John Morrison v. Chris Jericho v. Jeff Hardy – WWE SCRAMBLE MATCH for #1 Contendership…FRIDAY on SmackDown!
Commercials.
We recap Cena/Edge again. Can’t they give us actual video instead of still photos? Now we continue to go over who was sent to RAW.
Out comes the Miz! He has a microphone and he tells us that he is the single most valuable draft pick in the WWE. He reminds us how he was the face of MVP and how he was winning tag titles. Google his name and he’ll have more hits than anyone.
He came to RAW to make an impact. He is here to take on the biggest and baddest stars on this show. He wants John Cena tonight! A referee comes out. The spotlight is on Cena! He calls for Cena to step up to the plate.
Ask and you shall receive!
Well, Cena doesn’t come out. Miz thinks that Cena is scared of him. What does he have to do to get Cena to the ring. So, he belittles him a bit. He pokes fun at 12 Rounds, saying that his movies aren’t in theatres long enough. HE IS SICK AND TIRED OF PEOPLE LIKE CENA IN THE MAIN EVENT. Wow, this has to be a shoot. He declares himself the winner via forefit. He tells Lillian to announce him as the winner. She doesn’t, so he does it in the style of Mr. Kennedy.
Commercials.
We’re back and we recap the European tour.
Time for some tag team action!
Primo & Carlito v. Jamie Noble & Chavo Guerrero
Carlito v. DiBiase on Superstars Thursday!
The bell sounds and Chavo and Carlito start things off and King points out that the Unified Tag Titles can be defended on ANY show and is not exclusive to RAW. Carlito uses his feet and Chavo gets elevated up and over. Tag to Primo and the heels take a powder. Primo gets distracted and that costs him. Uppercut by Chavo and Jaime gets tagged in. Neckbreaker gets two. Chinlock applied and Primo fights it. He gets out of it, but gets clubbed in the back. Suplex countered for a two count for Primo. Tag to Chavo and he gets two on Primo. Chavo goes to the corner. Primo eats a shot and Chavo looks for a high risk move…Primo hits a dropkick. In comes Noble and Carlito. Sitdown powerbomb gets two for Carlito. Noble gets elevated on the apron. Carlito gets a two count on Jamie and Primo takes out Chavo. Neckbreaker countered to the Backstabber and that’s over.
Winner: Primo & Carlito
Grade: C+
Batista gets asked a stupid question by Josh Matthews. Batista says that he will hurt Orton for everything he has done and take the WWE Title from him.
Commercials.
Vickie comes out to the stage and she has an announcement. She plays the same video of Randy torturing the McMahons that aired earlier. That announcement is…Randy Orton v. Shane McMahon next week on RAW!
The main event is NEXT!
Commercials.
Big Show v. Batista
WWE Title #1 Contender’s Match
The bell sounds and they lock up. Neither man gives an inch. Another lockup and Show is the aggressor. We get a clean break and they circle the ring. Batista looks for a suplex, but Show is too big. They trade blows and Batista escapes a Chokeslam attempt. Show counters a Batista Bomb attempt and we are going to break!
Commercials.
We’re back as Show covers Batista for two. Headbutt sends Batista to the corner. Frying pan chop by Show and he gets a gut punch in. Another gut shot and Batista is in trouble. Batista blocks a headbutt and he spears Show in the corner. Show chops the back and he steps all over Batista. He stretches Batista’s body against the ring ropes. Thought this was supposed to be a DQ and not a five count? Batista tries to fight back, but Show hits a gut punch, followed by a sledge to the back. Scoop slam connects and Show drops the elbow on the back. He locks on a chinlock and drops his weight on Batista a couple times. Shot to the back connects and Show applies a bearhug. Batista tries to get out and he does. Show shoves Batista to the corner. He charges and eats a boot. Batista off the ropes and is caught. Batista gets out of it and he tries to clothesline Show to no avail. Spinebuster to Show and he is looking for the Batista Bomb, but Show answers with a chokeslam. Batista smartly rolls out of the ring ad CENA IS HERE! Show is distracted and SHOW MISSES THE TEN COUNT! HAHA!
Winner: Batista via countout
Grade: C-
Batista levels Show with a spear. So, Cena ignores the Miz for this? Epic Fail. Big Show is very pissed off and he says that Cena is his.
Show over.
The WWE RAW Report Card
Batista d. Big Show via Countout: C-
Primo & Carlito d. Noble & Guerrero: C+
Randy Orton d. MVP via DQ: C+
Matt Hardy d. Goldust: F
Santina, Kelly, Brie, & Mickie d. Beth, Rosa, Jillian, & Maryse: D
Kofi Kingston d. THE Brian Kendrick: C-
The Final Grade for WWE RAW 04.27.09: D+/C-
The Inside Pulse
New stars were made in MVP and The Miz, though the Miz got neutered when Cena ignored him only to focus on the Big Show. Hopefully next week, things will be remedied. Judgment Day’s main event has been announced with Batista taking on Randy Orton for the WWE Title. Overall, the fallout of Backlash and the draft officially starting has started new storylines, so tonight’s show was ok to that point. Have a great week!
