Total Nonstop Weekly – 08.14.09

It’s the best thing next to sliced bread. That’s right…I’m back bitches and I’m on a new day. Friday mornings on the Pulse will be the new home to all the news, rumors, scuttlebutt, recaps, and videos from your favorite promotion and mine…

Total Nonstop Action.

It’s no secret that the relationship between TNA and I is a love/hate type. There are times I want to throw something at the television because TNA Creative pale in comparison to WWE Creative…then again you can’t shine sh*t, so it makes things a whole lot more interesting. Likewise, there are times where I’ll preach about how TNA is better than WWE RAW. While last month’s abortion of Morasca/Sharmell was just that – an abortion, I rather watch that over and over than to see Chavo Guerrero – a Guerrero, I might add – lose weekly to Hornswoggle.

Total Nonstop Weekly is the only column that sums up everything in TNA that may or may not be covered daily on this website. I throw out newsbits and I take one or two huge stories and I discuss them in detail.  This is the place to see official TNA videos such as TNA Spin Cycle, Hermie’s Corner, exclusive web matches and other content I find interesting. I’ll also recap the previous night’s iMPACT and preview any upcoming Pay-Per-Views. Who knows what else I’ll find each week.

Enough of the introduction…let’s talk some TNA.

TNA Rapid-Fire

Jeff Jarrett is still sitting home due to “personal reasons”.

With Savio Vega and Dutch Mantel gone, Dixie Carter made the call to bring Scott D’Amore back to TNA to help out with the Knockout’s Division.

Brother Ray was spotted in Nashville Wednesday visiting the TNA office.

There are rumors floating around that Gregory Helms and TNA’s Velvet Sky are no longer dating. There are also rumors floating around that the prior statement is untrue. I can shed some light on this since I have Helms on my MySpace. He still has Velvet Sky on his #1 friends list, but his status says he is single. He still has pictures of Velvet and him in his album, so it’s anyone’s guess as to whether or not they are still dating.

Slightly old news, but Elijah Burke has signed with TNA Wrestling.

Good news for teenagers, Traci Brook’s Playboy hits newsstands 10/05/09.

Who Are the IWGP Tag Team Champions?

New Japan fired off a press release shortly after the British Invasion won the IWGP Tag Team Titles claiming that the match wasn’t sanctioned and that Team 3-D was still the officially recognized tag team champions. mentions that New Japan might have been pressured by TNA management to allow the title change to be made official. Therefore, the British Invasion is the 53rd generation IWGP tag team champions and their first title defense will be this Sunday at Hard Justice against Beer Money, Inc. More on that match listing later in the report.

It remains to be seen whether or not TNA had authorization from the governing body that runs NJPW to conduct the title change prior to the change. By doing some investigation into this matter, this isn’t the first time an IWGP championship changed hands in the United States. WCW had a couple IWGP Jr. Heavyweight Title changes nearly ten years ago. The similarities with this all points to one man: Vince Russo. For the sake of clarity, the title change occurred because no one expected it to happen. Everyone believed that if TNA put the IWGP Tag Team Titles on the line that the champions would be guaranteed to retain. Now that gets thrown out of the window and it makes booking the IWGP Tag Team Titles in TNA more of a guessing game than anything.

TNA on YouTube

Christy Hemme Returns

Webmatch: Jethro Holliday v. Rhino

Hermie’s Hotseat with Beer Money, Inc.

TNA Spin Cycle

iMPACT ThrowDown

Christy Hemme d. Sojourner Bolt (FFG; pinfall – Christy Hemme is back and looking hot. There was no way that she would lose in her return match. Boy, how low has Sojo fallen? From being Sharmell’s trainer to curtain jerking iMPACT. Inoffensive for the time allotted and no one was hurt.)

Hernandez d. Doug Williams (Sitout Powerbomb; pinfall – Gotta love how Hernandez is being pushed since his return from injury. It was very nice to hear the commentators talk about how the British Invasion put Hernandez out a few months ago. It’s good continuity and I’m actually excited for the big man match between Hernandez and Rob Terry.

Eric Young & Sheik Abdul Bashir d. Rhino & Jesse Neal (Neal stupidity into schoolboy by Young; pinfall – So we’re going to have a Rhino/Neal feud. Knowing the laws of Russo, this means that Neal will go over. Can’t say I’m looking forward to this.)

Tara d. Awesome Kong, ODB, & Angelina Love (Tara rolls up Awesome Kong; pinfall – So is Deaner’s new gimmick making out with the entire Knockout Division in an effort to help ODB win? Quite an interesting match that plays on the feuds between ODB and Angelina Love & Tara and Awesome Kong. I want to see Tara/Kong more than ODB/Love.)

Scott Steiner d. Brother Ray (Assist from Booker T & British Invasion; double chokeslam through a table; pinfall – So is the British Invasion still feuding with Team 3-D despite the fact they have Beer Money this Sunday at Hard Justice? Nice job selling that title match, TNA. The match itself was too short and the No DQ stipulation just meant that it was going to be a screwy finish.

Matt Morgan d. AJ Styles (Carbon Footprint; pinfall; Morgan wins series 2-1 – This was a good match and it solidified Morgan’s status in the main event. He won’t win the title this close to Bound for Glory, but he’ll look pretty damned good in the process. The two men work well together and a loss for AJ isn’t going to be bad for him.)

Between the matches, you had a contract signing with Mick Foley and Kevin Nash. It went pretty good considering how they usually end. For comedic purposes, Mick Foley put himself through a table. Jethro Holliday proved to everyone that he’s not just a jobber, but he’s a mindless idiot wanting to get the $50,000 bounty that Dr. Stevie put on Abyss’ head. We’ll get to see that match at Hard Justice. Also to note, Matt Morgan’s not going to lay down for Kurt Angle. He’s going to leave Hard Justice the World Champion. What do I know? I’m just the messenger.

iMPACT Final Grade: C+ – Decent show that wasn’t heavy on the MEM/World Elite Alliance. It should be interesting to see what goes down at Hard Justice.

Time for Some Hard…Justice

Here is the card for TNA Hard Justice, airing this Sunday on PPV!

Kurt Angle © vs. Sting vs. Matt Morgan

Mick Foley © vs. Kevin Nash

Booker T & Scott Steiner © vs. Team 3D

Homicide © vs. Samoa Joe w/ Taz

Angelina Love vs. ODB w/ Cody Deaner

Suicide vs. Chris Sabin vs. Amazing Red vs. Alex Shelley vs. Black Machismo vs. Daniels vs. Consequences Creed

The British Invasion © vs. Beer Money, Inc

Hernandez vs. Rob Terry

Abyss vs. Jethro Holliday

Plus, the TNA Wrestling debut of “The Pope” D’Angelo Dinero and much more

Ratings News
Due to the column being published Friday morning, ratings will be from the week prior.

TNA iMPACT from 08.06.09 scored a 1.2 rating, down from the 1.3 rating Episode 200 scored.

Elsewhere on Pulse Wrestling

Will Pruett debuts with style in “The People’s Column”. This week, he talks about his favorite champions to give you all an idea as to who he is. Welcome aboard, Will!

Dale Clarke talks about CM Punk’s masterful heel turn and how it makes SmackDown better.

Pulse Glazer discusses William Regal’s elevation into the ECW Title picture.

Andy Wheeler picks apart ECW & RAW.

GRUT dishes out random news and demands payment for your junk.

Until Next Time

I’ll be back next week for some more Total Nonstop Action.  It’s good to be back in the good graces of TNA and I hope you all have a good weekend.  Don’t forget to spend your Sunday Night here on the Pulse as TNA presents Hard Justice.  See you next week. Same time, same channel.

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