Total Nonstop Weekly – 09.04.09

Columns, Features

Welcome to another week of Total Nonstop Weekly! Some things are better late than never, as Friday left us with some huge news that I will mention later on in the column. I’m watching iMPACT via my DVR so let’s kick things off with the Rapid-Fire!

Rapid-Fire

Bad news for everyone: Due to a change in editors, Playboy has opted to not run the Traci Brooks pictoral in the October edition of the magazine. Instead, if you’re enrolled in the Cyber Club, the pictures will be available later this month. If you’re not enrolled, they’ll be leaked on the internet anyway.

Kevin Fertig & Nick Cvjetkovich were spotted in the iMPACT Zone during the tapings this week. Fertig wrestled a dark match against Kip James.

AJ Styles and some of the TNA Knockouts will be featured on MTV’s Made this Sunday at 3pm EST.

End Game, a movie starring Kurt Angle and Jenna Morasca will be released on DVD December 1st.

Howard Stern said some things about Kurt Angle’s interview where he cried. Needless to say, the things weren’t so nice.

Angle responds to Howard Stern by taking his booking to Bubba the Love Sponge. While he was on the air, he tried to goad Hulk Hogan to come to TNA and feud with him.

Webmatch: Creed v. Shark Boy

BREAKING NEWS: TNA Releases TWO top Knockouts

Jenna Morasca: OK, she isn’t considered “top talent”, but her money and her role in the Main Event Mafia places her on a higher scale than she should be. The reason for her release is mainly because her contract came up and both parties agreed to not renew it. Jenna will be remembered for wrestling the worst match in TNA history (but not the worst match in wrestling history). In honor of Jenna’s contributions to TNA, I’ll post the match review from Victory Road that I did for Pulse Wrestling.

Special Challenge Match: Sharmell w/Sojourner Bolt v. Jenna Morasca w/Awesome Kong

Woah, Jenna Morasca invested a lot for Awesome Kong and she invested a lot for that change in hairstyle. Wow. The bell sounds and they strut their stuff. Sorry Sharmell, Jenna’s hotter. They lock up and Sharmell is clearly the wrestling veteran. Jenna sends Sharmell to the ropes, but Sharmell comes back at Jenna. It’s a catfight in the ring. Sharmell goes for a cover following an elbow gets two. Sharmell kicks away before she locks on a camel clutch, but Jenna won’t give up. Crossbody by Jenna gets two and Sharmell no-sells the offense. Sharmell stands on the hair and lifts Jenna up. I pity Earl Hebner for drawing the short straw. Jenna hits a jawbreaker and SoJo interferes. Kong chases away and we get a double team…but that gets two. Sharmell is pissed off. Jenna and Sharmell fight in the corner, but Sharmell hits a bitch slap. Jenna fights back with a few of her own. Spear connects and we go back to catfight mode. They roll over Earl and he pulls Jenna off Sharmell. She takes a bit of Sharmell’s hair. SoJo looks for the distract and Jenna sidesteps Sharmell, who collides with SoJo. Kong takes care of SoJo. She gives Sharmell’s hair extensions back and she deals the death blow. Jenna goes for a seductive cover for three.

Winner: Jenna Morasca
Grade: F

Post match, she and Kong have some issues and she gets squashed.

Angelina Love: TNA released Angelina Love due to Angelina not renewing her work visa when she was released from the WWE. TNA had no choice but to release her due to this, as it is a tricky situation. TNA could still stand some legal issues since they used Love despite the work visa issue. I’ve checked some comments as the story broke and I noticed that people don’t understand the legal issues with this. It’s assumed that once Angelina Love secures a proper work visa, she’ll be back with TNA or possibly the WWE if Vince McMahon takes advantage of this.

There is no news as to how this affects the TNA Knockout’s Tag Team Title Tournament. TNA Creative will be working overtime to make this work for them.

Hermie’s Hotseat With Stevie Richards & Daffney

Jack Daniels Makes You Boozy

Last week, shortly after my column was posted, the IWC was shocked to learn that Christopher Daniels was arrested in North Carolina for DUI. When stopped by police, Daniels blew a 0.14 and was immediately booked. He posted bail and was able to head to Orlando to work. It is unknown when he would be due back for a court hearing.

It was reported in The Sun that Daniels was out with WWE star Hurricane Helms drinking. The pair traded off tweets and twits about their fun. It remains to be seen if Daniels will be punished by TNA, since it is in Dixie Carter’s mantra that everyone is innocent until proven guilty. However, since it didn’t happen at a sanctioned TNA event, it would be harder to pursue punishment. This is the same company that has to deal with Kurt Angle and his highly-publicized issues as of late.

iMPACT ThrowDown

Sting d. Rhino (Scorpion Deathdrop; pinfall) – They played Rhino as a total jackass, “threatening legal action” to be considered for this opportunity despite being booked last week to face Bobby Lashley. The match lacked a bit since it seemed that Rhino was being stiff to Sting and he wasn’t selling much of Sting’s offense.

AJ Styles d. Chris Sabin (Styles Clash; pinfall) – If this keeps the Motor City Machine Guns on TV in a role that doesn’t make them look like idiots, I’m all for it. They worked a fifteen minute match in less time, but it was still off the wall.

Doug Williams d. Suicide (Chaos Theory; pinfall) – What happened to the referee’s new-found power to keep matches fair? D’Angelo Dinero was the factor in screwing Suicide out of the match. The match was okay, but the run in made things go to a forgone conclusion.

Tara & Christy Hemme d. Hamada & Sojourner Bolt (Widow’s Peak on Sojo; pinfall) – With the above news concerning Angelina Love, I’m concerned about the future of the Knockouts Tag Title Tournament.

Hernandez d. Homicide (Dominator; pinfall) – This wasn’t good and it wasn’t neither man’s fault. Time wasn’t on their side in this match. They worked well together as a tag team, but I didn’t see the functionality in this match. Had it gotten more time, then the result would be very different.

AJ Styles d. Doug Williams (Reverse DDT; pinfall) – I loved this match. Doug Williams is good and AJ Styles is good as well. We didn’t get to see the Chaos Theory, but we seen another move out of AJ; a moonsault turned into a reverse DDT. Simply amazing.

Sting d. Hernandez (Outside interference via Eric Young on Sting; DQ) – The main event was served to hype the angle between EY and Hernandez. Hernandez still has a world title shot, but he has unfinished business with EY and the World Elite. This has “win” written all over it.

iMPACT Grade: B

There is No Surrender

The following matches have been announced for TNA’s No Surrender Pay-Per-View:

Bobby Lashley vs. Rhino
Finals Of The Knockouts Tag Team Championship Tournament
Intergender Match for the TNA Knockout’s Championship: Cody Deaner vs. ODB
Bounty Match: Kevin Nash vs. Abyss
TNA X-Division Championship Match: Samoa Joe vs. Daniels
Four-Way Dance for the TNA World Heavyweight Championship : Kurt Angle vs. Matt Morgan vs. Sting vs. AJ Styles

Rumored Matches

Scott Steiner & Booker T v. Beer Money – TNA World Tag Team Championships
Eric Young v. Hernandez
The British Invasion v. Team 3-D – IWGP Tag Team Championships
D’Angelo Dinero v. Suicide

TNA Ratings News

Last week’s iMPACT scored a 1.1 rating. There isn’t a rating for this week’s iMPACT due to the upcoming Labor Day Holiday. I’ll report on the rating next week.

Elsewhere on Pulse Wrestling
Raffi Shamir debuts his column on the Pulse this week. He talks about Rey Mysterio’s suspension in detail.
Will Pruett dissects WWE Breaking Point while Dale Clarke dissects WWE highlighting “Gimmick Pay-Per-Views.
GRUT has his fans, even if they come from the Pulse Wrestling family.  Perhaps the IWC wants to remain anonymous about GRUT’s musings.
Pulse Glazer talks about the best lineups for the major (and minor) wrestling companies.

Finally, for your around-the-industry look at news and developments, look no further than Pulse Wrestling.  We have you covered.

This Week in Indies
ROH News
This Week in ‘E
CHIKARA

That’s all from me this week. You can tell your friends how you survived another week  of TNA news and developments.  I’ll be back Monday Night for Bob Barker & Monday Night RAW. As always, have your pets spayed or neutered…because we have to do our part to control the pet population.

Yes, the fix is in.

Paul Marshall has been with Pulse Wrestling since September 2007. He currently does a weekly WWE Column titled "This Week In 'E". Follow him on Twitter here.