Okay, so here’s the deal. I was stuck home today because my car brakes needed to be repaired so that meant no work. What it did mean was that it gave Glazer a chance to ask me to answer his 20 questions on his blog. I figured I would do one or two, but before I knew it, I answered all twenty of his rhetorical queries (however, instead of Courvoisier, I just had a Newcastle) but his comment page limits you to 1,000 characters, so just like that I wound up with a bonus column.
Before I begin, I want everyone to head out to:
Examiner
and read his original post (as well as a ton of other great columns). Also, let me again plug my Twitter page at (twitter.com/awheeler316). Enjoy:
1. Why did the WWE feel it was a good idea to give (arguably) their two dullest workers who each have very limited movesets an hour in an Iron Man Match?
Well for one thing, you need a reason for people to want to see them fight again. Most of the current fans don’t remember what an Ironman match is supposed to look like in the first place, so the idea of Cena and Orton going at it for 60 minutes seems like an exciting match. Also, Cena has now taken to calling his feud with Randy “the best feud everâ€, and if you say something enough times it becomes true. Watch: “Shawn Michaels is Mr. Wrestlemania.†Take that Hogan & Andre, Steamboat & Savage and US Express & Sheik/Volkoff. Thankfully, the WWE has made this thing a no-DQ match, which should cover up the fact that all Randy has is the Garvin Stomp and all Cena has is the Five Moves of Mild Frustration.
2. Matches in feuds are supposed to escalate- are we to assume Iron Man shows more hate than the “barbaric†Hell in a Cell?
They seem to have moved away from “Cena hates Orton†and instead transitioned into “Cena respects Orton but wants this feud to become epic,†which is retarded but all we’re getting.
3. Why have the match be if Cena loses he’s off Raw when we all know unless he’s filming a movie, this means he’ll win?
Because he could wind up on Smackdown. Or they could put him on ECW for a week or two. It would make some major waves if all of a sudden John was off of the flagship show. Maybe they’re setting up a RAW v. Smackdown Survivor Series match and they wanted Cena to replace Punk on the Blue side. Or, maybe they want to have a guest host show up to save Cena the next night.
4. How did some people like the terrible, pointless Cena vs. Orton “I Quit†and not love the fast paced, smart, Hell in a Cell?
Because the “I Quit†match was the only “I Quit†match of the night, while HIAC was one of three. Oh, and because the bad guy won.
5. Is the lack of blood really that important to people that they felt the whole show was a failure without it?
Yes. You can suspend reality for pretty much anything in wrestling except for what you’ve been taught is implied. When someone gets hit with a finishing move, they are done…unless it’s Wrestlemania. When someone promises to have your back, they will turn on you. Most importantly, when you get smashed with a chair and flung into a cage, you will bleed. No blood just reminds us that this is a watered down product.
6. Does anyone really believe CM Punk is being de-pushed from the World Title because of the dress code?
Of course. Like I said before, Vince will always put a lack of a blazer above making money. It’s the same reason he de-pushed the Berserker.
7. Are Smackdown fans being punished for liking their show too much more than Raw since everything we loved about the show has been watered down in the past month?
We loved the show because the two top feuds featured guys who could work. I say blame Jeff Hardy for showing that when the company puts its faith in a regular sized guy, things go to hell. We still have Morrison and Ziggler feuding, not to mention the fact that Punk and Jericho are still on Friday nights. The return of Taker and Batista means that the main event might suck, but that doesn’t mean that every other match has to be 3 minutes long. Right?
8. Is Matt Hardy the biggest mark for himself in WWE right now?
I think Hornswoggle is pretty proud of himself. Matt Hardy isn’t a mark, he’s delusional. He doesn’t love himself, he just thinks that everyone else does because once a long time ago people thought it was messed up that the company fired him for his girlfriend cheating on him with a better worker. Oh, and because he once said ROH on television.
9. Why does WWE constantly elevate people just to the point of them being considered serious main eventers, then push them down the card?
Because when they push them to the moon without any restrictions, they become Brock Lesnar. And Bobby Lashley.
10. How can Dolph Ziggler and John Morrison avoid that fate since they’re soon-to-be stars?
John Morrison has been pushed and punished so many times that the fact that he’s being pushed again is proof that you can succeed and break free. Ziggler overcame Wellness Hell and he’s still around, so anything’s possible.
11. Seriously, who is working with ECW big men to make them so much better? Dean Malenko is listed as their road agent, but it can’t be him, can it?
Since I was the only guy who said that Vlad and Zeke are great, I get to gloat. Oh, and you are forgetting that Arn Anderson is a road agent, and his old “bash the faces†days prove that he knows how to direct a good beatdown.
12. Drew McIntyre and Eric Escobar are the beneficiaries of serious pushes it seems- are either future stars? Which is better?
Eric Escobar already annoys me, and I can’t wait until he meets the fate of Armando Estrada. Drew McIntyre isn’t big enough to be an evil foreigner, and he hasn’t shown anything in the skills that proves that THIS push is any better than his last push.
13. Was it smart to essentially leave Legacy off Raw without mention right after their huge Degeneration X match?
Yes, because Legacy is not so much good. Also, you’re forgetting that in the finish, DX killed Cody. If he shows up the next night, he’d have to have his skull bandaged. Besides, we needed to move on to JeriShow/DX, and Legacy would only muddy up the two segments in which HHH and HBK were being all zany and wacky.
14. Does the WWE hate money? Why would they give away Degeneration X vs. Jericho and Big Show?
I don’t know…I just don’t know…
15. Why do none of the young guys on Raw get to work programs with guys that can make them better? Swagger has seriously gone from MVP to Kofi Kingston to Primo Colon.
Jack Swagger will transition into a feud with John Cena. It has to happen. Did everyone just black out like FlashForward during his match with Cena at the Draft? Jack needs to re-establish himself as a rookie monster, and if it means him flattening Chavo and Santino for a few months, so be it.
16. Miz, after weeks of build, suddenly beats Kofi Kingston for the U.S. Title. This couldn’t have been done right at a Pay Per View why?
Because then you would have made The Miz look like a legitimate star with earning potential.
17. Why is John Cena the only one Orton’s “punt†didn’t injure?
Because the company needs to transition people believe the punt is more of a finishing move and not a “he’s dead forever†move. Kinda like how people used to gag due to the Mandible Claw, but by the end they just sort of flailed around.
18. With all the new stars in the WWE being built up, which are getting overlooked? Which are the best in the ring right now? Is there room for Bryan Danielson and Nigel McGuinness? Where?
Shelton Benjamin always gets overlooked, and it sucks. Evan Bourne can deliver more than what he’s doing now. Ezekiel Jackson has the potential to be a killer at the top of the card (more than Mark Henry did when he was ECW Champion). Danielson and Nigel will hopefully carve out niches on Smackdown and ECW respectively. Nigel can always come in as part of Regal’s stable, while Danielson can feud with Ziggler and Morrison and put on clinics.
19. The Rock, in a lackluster promo on Smackdown, still blew away every other face on the roster. Why are WWE’s faces such weak promos?
Because The Rock knows how to deliver a promo without sounding like he’s delivering a promo. Every face tries to be like The Rock, and it just doesn’t work. It’s why acting like Hogan didn’t work for Lex (or for Bret) or why no one bought Billy Gunn. John Morrison works better as an arrogant prick, yet Vince is worried that kids won’t get it. Christian needs someone to play off of. John Cena is more of a hype man, and his bipolar promos range from intensity to levity so fast that it makes no sense.
20. Who’s the next to get future endeavored, Tyler Reks, R-Truth, The Great Khali or other? Can I say all of the above, or is that too obvious? I’m glad that Reks is being treated like a jobber because that’s pretty much all he is. R-Truth showing up on Smackdown and getting pinned every week works for me as well. Khali is probably done. I’m upset you didn’t mention my favorite soon-to-be endeavored talent, ABRAHAM WASHINGTON.
