Verne Troyer is your guest host tonight and I guarantee that Chavo Guerrero will face off against a midget tonight. As the WWE gets closer to their TLC Pay-Per-View, how will John Cena respond after being put through a table by the #1 Contender, Sheamus? I’m here for the next two hours tonight, so keep it to the Pulse for real-time updates!
Just announced for RAW: Kofi Kingston v. Randy Orton
And as a shoutout to PK, Pulse Figures has the low-down on new figures Mattel is releasing as part of the WWE line.
BURN IT TO THE GROUND, WWE STYLE!
We’re live from Baltimore, Maryland! We open the show with JeriShow. Jericho needs to clear up some misconceptions tonight. One main misconception is that DX is one of the greatest tag teams of all time. They aren’t, Jericho says. They intend on exposing DX for what they truly are. Fact 1: JeriShow have held the titles for four months and they handled many tag teams while DX has never won tag team titles. Fact 2: DX are frauds. Show pimps DX’s merchandise and the fact they can’t compare to JeriShow. Fact 3: JeriShow has held 42 titles between the two. (So, Triple H and Shawn Michaels held more World Titles than JeriShow.) Big Show talks about his fist and he learns a new word in the process. Fact 4: DX has never been in a TLC match. As a team, Jericho is right. As individuals, Triple H has been in one and Shawn Michaels knows how to use tables, ladders, and chairs.
DX has heard enough and they come out to the ring. Triple H brings up Fact 32 that JeriShow is boring everyone to death. He then says that JeriShow are the champions and no one cares. DX has the army on their side. Shawn promises that they will become the new Unified Tag Team Champions and Triple H promises that once they become the champions, Chris Jericho won’t be on RAW anymore! Jericho says that without him, RAW is nothing. JeriShow says they are better than DX once again. Triple H challenges Jericho to a one-on-one match tonight since their time is limited. Jericho accepts…but on one condition. The loser faces the other team in a handicap match. Jericho has four words for DX: “I’m never leaving RAW.”
Commercials.
Last week on RAW: Maryse returns. That’s all you need to know.
Josh Matthews has Maryse for an interview and she says that Melina has what is hers.
Melina & Gail Kim v. Maryse & Jillian Hall
Looks like Melina and Maryse are starting things off, but she quickly tags out to Jillian. Melina wants Maryse though, but Jillian rolls Melina up for two. Tag to Gail Kim and she hits a missile dropkick on Jillian for one. Jillian regains control and she hits a backbreaker for two. She drops her legs for another two count. She throws Gail around the ring before dragging her to Maryse for the tag. She goads Melina to get involved, but she is smart. Gail Kim hits a neckbreaker from out of nowhere and Melina gets tagged in. She goes to town on Maryse, dropping her knees to the back. SPEAR TO MARYSE! Jillian gets involved and she is immediately taken out by Gail Kim. Melina gets reversed to the corner and she goes for that move that still looks like the Canadian Destroyer, but Maryse holds the ropes and she plants Melina with a DDT for the win.
Winners: Maryse & Jillian Hall
Grade: C
We recap Sheamus’ meteoric rise to the top.
Sheamus walks.
Commercials.
We’re back and it is time for another match! Sheamus comes out and he wants to talk first. He showed Cena why he should take Sheamus seriously, and he answered by putting him through a table. He doesn’t have to pin him or make him submit…all he has to do is put him through a table. His opponent…Santino Marella. He has a microphone of his own and he is more focused on Cena and not Santino. He asks if Sheamus is overlooking him. We get pale skin jokes before talking Lucky Charms. He calls Sheamus “lameass” and here we go!
Sheamus v. Santino Marella
Sheamus goes wild on Santino, taking him to the corner. Huge lariat connects and he could win the match right now. Santino back up…and back down due to a Polish Hammer. Bicycle Kick connects and Sheamus ends it with the Razor Edge. Sheamus leaves the ring and he pulls out a table. He sets it up in the corner and the fans chant for Cena. He picks Santino up and he drives his back through the table. Guess this wasn’t a sanctioned match.
Result: No Match
Sheamus vows that doesn’t compare to what he will do to Cena at TLC.
Backstage, JeriShow talks and we get a shot at Verne Troyer. He greets Show, but ignores Jericho. He’s up next!
Commercials.
Justin Roberts intros Verne Troyer, who is on a bar stool! He talks about how the WWE treated him great…except for the Miz. HAHA! This brings out the Miz and this should be good. REALLY? Seems the voice works right now. He apologizes to Verne before busting out something from the Austin Powers movies. Verne mocks Miz and Jackass and he says that he is better than the Miz. He has no problem kicking Verne into the ring, but it seems Mark Henry has a problem with the Miz. Fat Bastard jokes ensue and Miz says that Mark Henry is boring. He’s the Miz and he’s awesome. Verne wants to slap the grin off Miz’s face, but he decides to give Mark Henry the shot. Miz v. Henry is booked for tonight.
Orton v. Kingston…NEXT!
Commercials.
We’re back and Kofi Kingston makes his entrance, only to be ambushed by Cody Rhodes who sends Kingston against the steel steps. Kofi is in the ring and he wants the match to go on as scheduled. Orton’s music plays and DiBiase attacks from behind and he takes out Kingston’s legs! The referee wants to make sure if Kofi can go on, but Kofi wants Orton to face the music. The match is still on!
Kofi Kingston v. Randy Orton
They circle the ring and Orton goes after the injured leg. He attacks it until Kofi gets to the ropes, but Orton slides out of the ring to continue the attack. He snaps the leg against the ring post and he gets back in the ring. He hits the guillotine choke on Kofi and Kofi still has some fight left in him. Orton tees off on him in the corner and the referee tries to get some control. Kofi tries a comeback and Kingston explodes from the corner! Orton kicks Kingston in the knee…RKO CONNECTS! The pinfall is academic.
Winner: Randy Orton
Grade: NR
Gotta give Kofi props for continuing with the match and there’s no doubt that the feud has just reached the climax here. Orton isn’t done yet as he sets Kofi on the top rope. HE DRILLS KOFI WITH THE SPIKE DDT! Orton looks possessed.
Commercials.
Miz and Verne are playing SmackDown v. RAW and Jillian Hall comes in and she wants to entertain the crowd. MVP lets her and she grinds on Mark Henry who squishes her. HAHA! Verne continues playing.
John Cena is here.
Commercials.
Cena makes his entrance and he puts over being put through a table. Sheamus hasn’t won anything yet. Even if Sheamus wins, Cena is entitled to a rematch and he intends on using it at WWE TLC. Tonight, he goes to war. He wants Sheamus v. Cena tonight?!?!
Carlito has a job still? He comes out to the ring saying that he hates Sheamus. Carlito says that there is a locker room full of people wanting someone to end Cena’s reign. They are tired of Cena stealing the spotlight and Sheamus will be the new WWE Champion. Oh God? Really? Cena gets serious and he tells Carlito that he picked the wrong night and the wrong guy. He tells Carlito to step up. Cena loses the hat and shirt and he tells Carlito to do something about it. He goes for the apple, but Cena beats him to the punch and Carlito eats the Attitude Adjustment. Sheamus comes out and Cena is ready for him. Sheamus thinks waiting is the better part of valor.
Commercials.
Verne Troyer is back on his barstool. He brings out MVP and Mark Henry. Miz says that if Henry has no personality, MVP is bringing us back to reality. We go to rap mode.
Commercials.
The Miz v. Mark Henry
Miz tries to get the upper hand, but that is hard to do against Mark Henry. Henry takes Miz down with a splat, but Miz does find a comeback and he kicks Henry in the face for two. Miz snaps Henry’s neck on the top rope and he goes to the top. He’s caught and Henry hits the World’s Strongest Slam. Yup. The Miz is awful.
Winner: Mark Henry
Grade: F
Verne Troyer mocks the Miz and he brings the ladies out.
Jericho walks.
Commercials.
We’re back and DX talk about that dream of being summoned in Little People’s Court. It seemed that it was a dream. Hornswoggle comes in and he is mad that they ignored his plea and he is seeking further prosectution. DX says that he has nothing on them. They leave. So we’re not going to court tonight? Damn.
Chris Jericho v. Triple H
The bell sounds and Jericho gets one-upped by Triple H. Jericho takes his leave and Trips gives chase. Big Show comes out to join the fun, just as expected. Jericho uses the distraction to dropkick Trips off the ring apron. Green screen and we go to break!
Commercials.
Mark Cuban is in charge next week!
Back from break, Triple H has Jericho on the defensive, but Jericho finds an opening and he sends Trips over the top and on the outside. Jericho sends Trips into the ring steps. Jericho off the dropkick into a two count. He has Trips in a chinlock. To the ropes and Trips gets the upperhand. Knee smash connects and that gets a two count. Trips charges and Jericho has a boot up. Codebreaker attempt is countered to a backdrop, which is countered to the Walls, which Trips throws him off. Jericho comes back and scores a two count off an enzugiri. Jericho hits the bulldog and he looks for the Lionsault…Trips has the knees up. Pedigree attempt and Jericho counters with a jacknife pin for two. Both men go toe to toe with Trips having the upperhand. Off the ropes, Trips explodes with a lariat…TWO COUNT ONLY! Pedigree attempt, but Jericho counters to a DDT…ANOTHER TWO COUNT! Jericho comes after Trips and Trips hits the spinebuster for a close two count! Show gets up and he piefaces Shawn. Trips sees this and Big Show punches Trips in the face. The referee evicts Big Show and Shawn Michaels hits Jericho with Sweet Chin Music! Shawn gets evicted and the match continues. Both men are down as the referee starts the count. Both men get up at the nine count. Jericho goes for the Codebreaker, but Trips counters to the Pedigree, but that is countered to the Walls…Trips rolls Jericho up for the pin!
Winner: Triple H
Grade: B+
Shawn has the microphone and he says that next week is Jericho’s last night on RAW.
Show over.
The WWE RAW Report Card
Triple H d. Chris Jericho: B+
Mark Henry d. The Miz: F
Randy Orton d. Kofi Kingston: NR
Sheamus v. Santino Marella never officially happened: NR
Maryse & Jillian Hall d. Melina & Gail Kim: C
The Final Grade for WWE RAW 11.30.2009: C
The Final Pulse
Well, this show was shaping up to be a bomb, but thankfully the rumors of WWE renting a court room in Baltimore was unfounded this week. The evolution of the Sheamus/Cena feud took an interesting turn when Carlito returned from being irrelevant and continued from Jesse Ventura’s conspiracy theory about Cena being on top. This could make Cena’s title reign very intriguing as the locker room slowly turns against Cena. Orton/Kingston took a nice turn with the Legacy beatdown and it just kept that hot feud going. Chavo Guerrero thankfully wasn’t embarrassed this week, but the Miz filled that slot for the week. Overall, I can’t find much to complain about this week as even the divas match was flawless (as in no botches). Enjoy your week and keep your browser set to the Pulse for the latest wrestling news!
