The Big Bang Theory – Episode 3-19 Review

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As predicted, the nemesis has returned to torment Sheldon Cooper one more time. “Wheaton Recurrence” brings back the boy who stole geek girls’ hearts as Wesley Crusher on Star Trek: The Next Generation. He’s acted in other roles, but there are few that compare to iconic Star Trek universe. Actually he did star in Python, the movie that launched the big dumb monster movies on SyFy. I once worked with director Richard Clabaugh at a film school. He only had the highest praise for Wheaton. Guess he never experienced the real Wheaton that was revealed on “The Creepy Candy Coating Corollary.” He was perfectly evil as he destroyed Sheldon with a fake grandmother story. I’m rather nervous if he and the writers can duplicate the magic. Think of all those time where a one time monster goes soft on their return like that God Warrior woman on Wife Swap or was it Trading Spouses.

“Wheaton Recurrence” opens with Leonard and Penny in bed. He’s hyperventilating under the covers. He’s also wearing a white t-shirt while she’s got bare shoulders. Leonard jokes that he would have tried harder in PE if he knew this was part of it. She gives him a Yoda line about trying. He gets excited that she quoted Star Wars. She corrects him that it’s Empire Strikes Back. He’s blown away that he’s in bed with a woman that can quote Yoda. They kiss and he blurts out that he loves her. She goes quiet, squirms and finally says, “Thank you.” It all goes awkward as Penny declares it’s time to go to sleep. She rolls over so her back is toward him and gives a wide eyed glare into the darkness.

This opening scene nails the most delicate aspect of a relationship – the declaration of your heart. The act of saying “I Love You” should be treated like a game of chicken. Not that the first person who says it loses. But you ultimately want to spring it out at the moment right before they’re about to blurt it out. It’s an acceptable head on collision. Why should those little words matter? Because after that time, you know that everything you do with or without them will have consequences. Every no from that moment forward will break their heart or at least be a let down. It helps to blurt out the words if both parties are slightly tipsy. Blame it on the bottle if they don’t reply. Remember that “Thank you” is the worst response since it leaves you completely dangling. If you’re tipsy and not sure how to respond; mumble and fake passing out. Also remember that you’re never that intimate with someone if you have to keep your t-shirt on.

Raj, Howard and Sheldon sit in the living room watching a monster movie on TV. Leonard shuffles down the hallway. Howard asks his view of giant ants. Sheldon doesn’t think they can happen. Howard and Raj think they’d be a cooler mode of transportation than the Batmobile. Sheldon is bitter and leaves them without giving an answer. Sheldon thinks Leonard is having his period. Howard uses the term “Manstrating.” Raj thinks he has them for his weepy times in the middle of the month.

At the comic book store, Howard decides to skip the giant ants talk and move onto giant rabbits. Raj hates rabbits cause they look like they’re going to talk. Sheldon brings up tonight’s science fact about rabbits’ private parts. Leonard doesn’t care to contribute to the conversation. He wants them to talk about something real. Howard changes the topic to what’s making Leonard such a giant douche. Sheldon admits there can be giant douches since Leonard proves it. Raj suggests he’s had a lover’s spat with Penny. Leonard doesn’t want to talk about it. Sheldon fears he will talk about it and heads to another row of comic books. Howard and Raj come up with theories of what went wrong involving spanking, waxing, syrup and women’s underwear. Stuart, the comic bookstore owner, asks Sheldon if he’s ready for their bowling match. He is more than ready, he’s prepared trash talk including a “your momma” snap that works both ways depending how the mother bowls.

This is a perfect guy moment since for the most part, men don’t care about their buddy’s issues with their girlfriends. The only time we want to hear about your intimate details is if your girlfriend wants to get kinky. It’s not that men are dogs. It’s just we don’t want to be a free marriage counselor. We’d rather talk about giant ants. You want advice about the heart, become a guest on Dr. Phil.

The guys walk up the staircase and bump into Penny. Sheldon reminds her about bowling since she’s their big strike queen. Leonard doesn’t care if she can’t make. He’s Mr. Glum while she’s rather indifferent to him. This isn’t looking good for the duo.

At the bowling alley, Sheldon uses an entire can of disinfectant on his shoes. Howard is engulfed in the aerosol fog. He wonders why Sheldon didn’t bring his own shoes instead of getting rentals. Turns out they are Sheldon’s bowling shoes. He must clean them harshly since he knows where his feet have been. Stuart arrives eager to greet Penny and acknowledge the geeks. He has the bad news that Albino Bob couldn’t make it as part of his team so the substitute is…..wait for it……Wil Wheaton! Sheldon bolts up from his chair to stare down his nemesis. Wil can’t believe the guy still has a grudge over losing the card game. Sheldon doesn’t merely have a grudge. He has ownership of the websites WilWheatonstinks.com, .net and .org. Wil’s happy to be living rent free in Sheldon’s mind. Turns out the geeks was co-captain of East Texas Youth Holy Roller Bowling Team 7 -12 ages. Wil declares, “It’s on.” Sheldon corrects him by saying, “It was never off.”

Wil nabs a spare which Sheldon debases as “the Miss Congeniality of the bowling pageant.” Sheldon gets extremely cocky before his roll. He goes into a trance to mind meld with his bowling ball. He throws a strike. The gangly wonder does have a bit of athletic moves. Howard sneaks up on Wil and says he’s a big fan. He wants to know if Wil ever hooked up with Whoopi Goldberg on Star Trek: The Next Generation. The reply is a confused stare from Wil. Raj is drunk and happy. He’s ready to be the life of the party, but there’s no one sitting around him at the lane. Back to drinking for him.

Leonard offers Penny some chili cheese fries. She grabs a handful because she “loves” them. This sets Leonard off since she’ll profess love to greasy foods, but not his heart. She gives him a chance to get out of this topic, but he won’t back off. She declares his declaration caught her off guard. She still doesn’t know what to say. She won’t let him decide when she’ll say, I love you. She runs out of the bowling alley. Raj and Howard sit nearby. Raj sums it up as “the premature I love you.” Howard was half right on his guess since it involved Leonard being premature. Leonard sits in his chair looking lost and lonely.

Leonard’s inability to drop a subject has finally cost him. Howard wondering if Wil and Whoopi transported is hilarious. The best element of this episode is that Sheldon can bowl. We’re not given the usual spastic antics associated with nerds. My only question is what would the names on the Wil Wheaton websites be if this show aired on HBO?

Sheldon eagerly knocks on Penny’s door. She opens the door. He hands her a bag filled with ice cream. He’s learned how to deal with women by studying the comic strip Cathy. If she was a cat, he would have brought her a lasagna. She suspects Leonard sent him over. But no. He’s come by himself because he’s upset that they had to forfeit the game to Wil Wheaton. He had to cry himself to sleep which was hard cause Leonard was crying while listening to Alanis Morrissette. Sheldon has arranged a rematch. She doesn’t think it’s good for her to be near Leonard. He offers to bump his roommate off the team. That’s not necessary. She promises to talk to Leonard and get back on her ability to play. He badgers her into going down to the laundry room to talk to Leonard. He needs his strike queen for the rematch.

Leonard looks rather bleak while folding his white t-shirt in the laundry room. He probably washed her smell off it. Penny enters. He doesn’t want to talk about anything since everything is good. He admits he overreacted at the bowling alley. He thinks he’s a little bit ahead of her emotionally in the relationship since he’s been in it two years longer than her. She points out that she’s dropped the L word in previous relationships and it didn’t work out well. He gets resentful that he hasn’t a clue what that could be like. He backs off. She asks if they are good. He says that they aren’t merely good, but great. Sheldon barges in with his bowling bag. Mission accomplished and now they need to get to the lanes. He must exact revenge on Wil Wheaton.

This is a damaged relationship. Strange though that I’d speculated what would torpedo the geek meets girl element would be a twisted love triangle with Sheldon. Or that Sheldon would completely step over the line with her and Leonard would take collateral damage. It’s just the natural nature of Leonard that has made things uncomfortable. At least Sheldon doesn’t have to take the blame cause Leonard wouldn’t let it be.

Sheldon arrives at the bowling alley with a bag full of jerseys that declare his team as “The Wesley Crushers.” Penny doesn’t get it even after Leonard points out that it was Wil’s name on Star Trek. She thinks it means they have a crush on Wesley. Sheldon panics that nobody gets his genius. Wil arrives and is happy to see they named the team after him. The shirts get shoved back in the bag. Stuart reminds them of the stakes. The losers get public humiliation in a manner decided by the winners. Sheldon will put Stuart’s name on a scientific paper. Stuart is fearing that shame. Wil Wheaton comes up to Sheldon to let him know he’s going to feel good wiping him all over the alley. Sheldon asks him if his mother was a good or poor bowler.

On the lane, Sheldon and Wil pick up their balls at the same time. Wil tells him to go first since it is customary for the bowler on the right to go first. As Sheldon makes his approach, Wil sneaks in a roll. It throws off Sheldon’s rhythm. He gets a gutterball while Wil picks up a spare. Wil clears himself of wrongdoing by pointing out that it’s a custom and not a rule. Sheldon loathes the actor. Wil pats his arm and tells him to “embrace the dark side.” Sheldon gets upset and says, “That’s not even from your franchise.”

This is the replay on your DVR moment for the episode. Wil clearly relishes playing the bad guy on the set. He does it with a minimum of motions. He’s just an utter jerk in his pursuit of driving Sheldon nuts.

Stuart leans over the seats to Penny to tell him that even though they’re on different teams, he doesn’t hate her. He lists romantic couples on the wrong side of the fence. She gives him the “what are you getting at” look. He backs away to bowl his frame.

Howard picks up his ball. Sheldon insists he be the ball. Howard won’t heed the advice. His ball goes right between the 7-10 split. Sheldon knows his partner wasn’t the ball.

Leonard brings a beer back to Penny. He talks about how it’s good they’re doing something physical and not being stuck in their heads. He keeps rambling until he gets to saying, “Someday you’ll love me back.” She gives him the “drop it” look. He gets up for his turn at the pins.

The gang chants, “Sheldon!” He stops them since he doesn’t know who they are cheering for. He’s the ball. They now chant, “The Ball!” He unleashes and nails the spare. Sheldon jumps for joy. He screams, “Thank you Jesus” like a Texas minister at a revival tent. The guys are perplexed. He quickly adds, “As my mother would say.” He’s not that religious.

Leonard bowls while Wil Wheaton sits next to Penny. He’s happy she smoothed over things with her man. He tells the story of the time he told a girl he loved her and she strung him along for two years. He wished she’d put him out of his misery. He goes off to bowl. Sheldon plops down next to Penny to know if Wil got in her head. She claims nothing happened. Wil bowls a strike. Sheldon curses him by pointing out Wil’s satisfaction will be as shortlived as his time on ST:TNG. Leonard sits down next to Penny to let her know she’s up. Sheldon reminds her that Wil’s grandmother is alive. Leonard rubs her back while saying they really need a strike. She’s sick of him pressuring him. He offers to shut up. She doesn’t want him to shut up. He wants to know what to do. She swears this isn’t fair to him and runs out of the alley. Sheldon promises her more ice cream if she comes back. Leonard tells him to let her go. “If she leaves, it’s over,” Sheldon says. “It’s over,” resigns Leonard. Wil gives Sheldon the tough luck congratulations. Sheldon knows he did this evil to Penny. Wil is incensed at the thought that he’d break up a couple to win a bowling match. Sheldon doesn’t think so. “Good,” Wil says. “Keep thinking that.”

Wil Wheaton is more evil that Rick Springfield on Californication without the hookers, cocaine and lobster. With a minimal of interaction with Sheldon, he’s once more become the ultimate nemesis on the show. His return was a 300 of an episode. He even goes beyond just teasing Sheldon by destroying a relationship. He’s the perfect level of bad news needed for the show in small doses. The odd feeling is that this should have been the season finale. It’s an emotional cliffhanger with the bad guy in control.

Stuart is at the comic bookstore when the geeks enter as part of the bet. They’re dressed as female superheroes: Howard’s Batgirl, Sheldon’s Wonderwoman, Leonard’s Supergirl and Raj’s Catwoman. Raj tells Howard that he feels empowered by the costume.

This crossheroine dressing should end up on the box cover of season three.

The good news is that after another two weeks of reruns, we’ll be getting the final four episodes of the season in a row starting on May 3. The bad news is “The Spaghetti Catalyst” will air at 9 p.m. and be followed by a Bang repeat. Why mess with a timeslot at the start of May Sweeps? Are they on drugs? Guess Charlie Sheen’s issues have made the brass nervous about the future of Two and a Half Men. Why can’t the producers have Raj and Howard watch that Half Man for a couple episodes as a spin-off crossover experiment?

Joe Corey is the writer and director of "Danger! Health Films" currently streaming on Night Flight and Amazon Prime. He's the author of "The Seven Secrets of Great Walmart People Greeters." This is the last how to get a job book you'll ever need. He was Associate Producer of the documentary "Moving Midway." He's worked as local crew on several reality shows including Candid Camera, American's Most Wanted, Extreme Makeover Home Edition and ESPN's Gaters. He's been featured on The Today Show and CBS's 48 Hours. Dom DeLuise once said, "Joe, you look like an axe murderer." He was in charge of research and programming at the Moving Image Archive.