Homecoming – DVD Review

Film, Reviews



Here’s a piece of free advice from your Uncle Josh: if you happen to be captured by the psycho ex of your current boyfriend or girlfriend (or really any psycho at all) don’t whine or plead for your life, take that sucker out. That’s Thunderdome time, and believe me, Master-Blaster won’t hesitate.

Confusing Mad Max Beyond Thunderdome references aside, I counted a good six times when the heroine, Elizabeth, could have taken out her captor, but was too much of a wuss to take the initiative. At one point her tormentor, Shelby, served her pancakes in bed and gave her a fork to eat with. By that point in the movie I was actually talking to the screen, saying, “Grab her by the hair and jam that fork in her eye!” But she didn’t listen to me and thus deserved everything that happened to her afterward.

Elizabeth found herself in this situation because she traveled with her boyfriend Mike to his high school homecoming (hence the title) where his football jersey is being retired. Everybody in town loves Mike, especially his psycho ex-girlfriend, the aforementioned Shelby, who suffers under the delusion that she and Mike are still a couple. Shelby sees her chance to win back Mike when she accidentally sideswipes Elizabeth on a dark country road. She keeps Elizabeth hostage in her rundown roach motel of a house and divides her time from treating/terrorizing Elizabeth and clumsily trying to seduce Mike.

I’d have more sympathy for Elizabeth and Mike if they weren’t so rock-stupid. When they get to town they meet up with Mike’s cousin and a bunch of friends from high school and head over to reminisce at the bowling alley owned by Shelby even though several people tell Mike that Shelby still believes that they’re together. At the bowling alley, Mike ends up alone with Shelby in the supply room where she talks about missing him and working on additions to her house in preparation for “that big family you’ve always wanted.” Mike has to remind her that they’re separated and that he’s seeing somebody else but he apparently doesn’t think her behavior is odd because he stays at the bowling alley and even lets Elizabeth drink with Shelby in a secluded portion of the alley. At this point we really see Elizabeth’s stupidity because she lets Shelby play her like a fiddle when a five-year-old could see that she’s being a manipulative bitch.

Homecoming is billed as “A mix of Fatal Attraction and Misery for the Gossip Girl generation” and that right there is its problem. It combines elements from two good thrillers (Misery, actually, is an excellent thriller, but I digress) with the vapidity of the WB’s or CW’s or whatever’s teen soap melodrama. It’s one of those movies that mistakes attractive actors for good actors. No one is likeable or sympathetic. Mike is so bland and one-dimensional he doesn’t even qualify as a caricature much less a character, and Elizabeth is so whiny and helpless that I wanted her to die. The movie was tedious when it should have been suspenseful and stupid when it should have been smart. It stands as just one more example of the current crop of filmmakers that have a good understanding of how to visually construct a scene, but no idea how to create believable, engaging characters. I’ll take Misery or even Fatal Attraction over this movie any day.

The movie was presented in Widescreen with no aspect ratio information given and the audio in Dolby Digital 5.1 Surround. There is only an English language track, but English and Spanish subtitles are provided for the hearing impaired and non-native speakers. There were no problems with either the audio or video.

Deleted Scenes – There are four deleted scenes included, but I don’t really see why they were included because they don’t add anything to the story or are even that entertaining. I’d recommend skipping them.

Previews

Do yourself a favor and skip this movie. It’s not just that it’s a bad flick, it’s also incredibly boring. Homecoming is bland, vapid, and far too reliant on ideas already done in much better movies. Don’t waste your time.


Animus / Films presents Homecoming. Directed by Morgan J. Freeman. Starring Mischa Barton, Matt Long, Jessica Stroup, and Michael Landes. Written by Katie L. Fetting. Running time: 88 minutes. Rated R. Released on DVD: April 20, 2010. Available at Amazon.