They open with the judges giving all the praise to the singers along with Casey James getting body contact from Shania Twain. They intercut it with the director in the booth calling out camera switches. Ryan arrives at the back of the crowd. He announces 33 million votes came in last night. That’s a million less than two weeks ago. Is this another sign that the show is losing its cool. The judges are already seated. Simon flashes jazz hands at the crowd.
Rascal Flats is first out on the stage do give us “Unstoppable.” These guys don’t have a record contract since Disney folded their country label. This song isn’t that country. It sounds like Jonas Brothers slow song. We’re promised Racal Flats will be back to perform with Shakira. Well that’s an unusual double teaming. Ryan points out the six finalists are on the sofa off to the side. You mean this isn’t just a music variety show?
Ryan gives us behind the scene footage of the Ford commercial to see how the kids are transformed into Idol Vampire. How can vampires be in the daylight, the wife asks? Twilight mania has struck the kiddies. Shiobhan looks natural undead. They used a blue filter on the camera to make it look like night. Michael Lynche is being attacked by the kids. They had to make the last minority the victim of blood suckers. But he’s saved by his pizza with extra garlic. Another fluff moment has the kids meet the director of Shrek Forever After to reword Ryan Secrest’s voice work. It’s a time killer plug. They get to hang out with Eddie Murphy for a preview. Cameron Diaz and Antonio Banderas are on the stage with Ryan. When did Antonio get so schlubby? He looks like an extra from a Scarface remake. There’s nasty feedback on his mic.
Time to give us the three bottom folks. Siobhan Magnus gets sent to form a group on the far side of the stage. Aaron Kelly is sent to the center of the stage. Michael Lynche hears Simon explain the “wet” line. “Imagine you singing,” Simon tells Ryan. That’s worth a million dollars. Michael remains close to Ryan. Lee DeWyze gets sent to the far side with Siobhan. Casey James is back in the game according to Kara. But his game takes him to Michael Lynche. Crystal Bowersox is the last up. She wasn’t loved by the judges last night. She gets to be square dance partners with Aaron Kelly. This is confusing to figure out. Ryan walks Siohban over to toward the couch but leaves her with Michael Lynche and Casey James. They’re they bottom three. Aaron Kelly, Crystal Bowersox and Lee DeWyze are safe. Aaron Kelly’s tongue bath from the judges has given him another week.
Harry Connick Jr. is next weeks mentor with the theme being The Songs of Sinatra.
Carrie Underwood only introduces the Sons of Sylvia with “Love Left to Lose.” They’re touring with her. The guys looks like they were wandering the lot hoping to be in the new Twilight film. The audio on this is way too compressed. Did they forget to plug in the microphones? Does it matter? They are all about pouting for the camera. The mandolin guy looks like he studied under Zoolander. Will he give us Blue Steel during the chorus? Somebody’s manager better be kicking in the control room’s door to find out what they did to the sound mix. Just looked them up on the wikipedia. Turns out they are three of the Clark brothers with a mom named Sylvia. They also won Fox’s The Next Great American Band.
We’re getting more music with Lady Antebellum’s “Need You Now.” These guys sounded much better than the Sons audio wise.
Ryan notices Shakira has arrived to do “Gypsy” with Rascal Flats. Shakira is working the harmonica. She’s stopped looking like Beyonce. The song doesn’t sound very gypsy-esque. She’s shaking her hips on the stage. It’s a tepid affair that sounds like filler on a bad Western. Shakira is shorter than Ryan. Joel McHale better have fun with this video on The Soup. She butchers a quote about reaching for the stars. We used to say, “Keep your mind in the gutter and your hands reaching till they get slapped.”
Mike, Casey and Siobhan are brought out to edge of the stage. Mike gets sent to the sofa. He’s safe. Before we find out who leaves us, Ryan sends us to a commercial break.
Siobahn and Casey hold hands as Ryan gives us the final result. Siobhan Magnus is gone. What? Are people nuts? She was the only exciting part of the show? Was she cursed when Vote for the Worst picked her to replace Tim Urban? I’ll miss our glassblower from Cape Cod even more than Tim Urban. She gives us one last take of Aretha Franklin’s “Freedom.” Why didn’t she get to do any punky goddess songs from The Waitresses? She lets out one last wail. Elllen will see her tomorrow on her show. Forget the music career, Siobhan ought to have a reality show on MTV. Or maybe Ryan can produce one for E! like a version of Keeping Up with the Kardashians with glass blowing? Hard to believe Casey and Aaron have outlasted her.
