Every Monday morning, InsidePulse Movies Czar Scott “Kubryk” Sawitz brings an irreverent and oftentimes hilarious look at pop culture, politics, sports and whatever else comes to mind. And sometimes he writes about movies.
My buddy Jon showed me something a while back on YouTube, as is his calling in life (my buddy Nick does as well but his are usually executions and other things that give you nightmares for weeks), that has fascinated to me no end. This isn’t the only thing this kid has done, of course, but over the course of months it’s been something that has left me with two final results as to what the endgame of “Evan” really is:
This is either the most brilliant piece of Avant Garde internet art ever created or this kid has serious issues, man. Experience would dictate for the former, gut instinct says the latter, so I leave it open for debate. As for me, it’s the reason why I didn’t get into the good colleges.
Random Thoughts of the Week
With the end of Entourage coming up next spring, amongst others, we’re going to see a lot of high profile actors and actresses in need of new vehicles for both film and television. And after watching The American, and seeing that maybe one aspect of the hired killer genre would totally make for an interesting television show, I’ve been thinking about some ideas for some cast members of these shows. I would have some fancy name for it but after the monster of a column from Last Week
The Handler – Jeremy Piven may have six more episodes next spring (and the finale this weekend) left as Ari Gold, but imitation is the most sincere form of flattery as he apes that character for a new one: Steven Wilder, highly volatile and profane agent of assassins. Wilder runs a successful wet work agency, offering skilled murder for hire from his crack team of killers. But it’s not all it’s cracked up to be as his team of killers all have wacky problems he has to solve, as well as he has his own family (who thinks he runs a shipping company) to worry about. You think Ari Gold has good one-liners? Imagine Piven berating one of his employees to finish a job by going “Hey, for the kind of MONEY they’re paying you for this I’d shoot a newborn in the FACE with a sawed off shotgun!”
For all the films we have about hired killers, what about their handlers? I mean it would be kind of fun to see the guy who handles all of the arrangements.
Gilligan’s Son’s Island – Willy Gilligan Jr. (Matthew Fox) finds himself trapped on an island with a rich guy, his whiny wife, the girl next door, a hooker and a generic fat guy. Each week we think they can get off the island to no avail and get into wacky hijinx that keep them stranded without a single luxury.
Dude, what else is Matt Fox going to do now that Lost is off the air?
Losing It – Kiefer Sutherland stars as a pissed off with a serious anger management problem: sentenced to see a therapist, life conspired for him to lose his temper at least once an episode.
Kiefer works best when he screams all the time, which is why 24 was kind of fun. Jack Bauer was just this raging ass-hat who tortured people while yelling at them. So it’d be funny, if only to me, to kind of take that to its next logical extreme and revolve a show around him snapping at someone for something stupid. Like when dealing with Tech Support, it can be a build until he just blows his lid.
The Band – Tyson McKroker (Bill Engvall) was once the lead singer of the biggest glam metal band ever: Kroker. Twenty years after they split, Tyson finds himself living in the same community as the rest of his former band mates. Hijinks ensue.
Engvall is probably the funniest of the “Redneck Comedy Tour” guys (Engvall, Jeff Foxworthy, Ron White and Larry the Cable Guy) but hasn’t found a television show that’s best able to use his talent. So why not reach back for some ‘80s references, bring in Bret Michaels as his wacky guitarist and you’re gold.
A Movie A Week – The Challenge
This Week’s DVD – Flyboys
There are plenty of great stories about war and the warriors that fought them that haven’t been told by Hollywood about the generations that have came and went. Clint Eastwood crafted a meditation on the nature of heroism involving three of the men who raised the flag on Iwo Jima with Flags of our Fathers to much acclaim. Around the same time Tony Bill focused on a similar subject featuring the Great War and some Americans hankering for a fight before the U.S officially came in and (per my U.S History class in high school) immediately won the war because the rest of the world was a bunch of pansies who melted under the sight of the Stars & Stripes.
Flyboys was a star vehicle for James Franco that was a significant money loser, costing $60 million while grossing $18 million in worldwide grosses. It did find a home on DVD, finding an audience bigger than the one it found in theatres, but was sort of the red-headed stepchild of 2006 war films as Flags and Letters from Iwo Jima garnered a higher box office and an Academy Award nomination for Best Picture (and another Best Director nomination for Clint Eastwood) respectively.
Before American involvement in World War I, a number of American expatriates ended up fighting with the French in the Lafayette Flying Corps, the group of American fighter pilots serving with the French Lafayette Escadrille. Their stories had always been one for the history books until Flyboys put their highly fictionalized story to the big screen in a modern era devoted almost exclusively to films about Vietnam and World War II.
Blaine Rawlings (James Franco) has just lost the family ranch, amongst other things, decides to enlist in the fight against the Germans. Trained by a fellow ex-pat (Martin Henderson) and commanded by a Frenchman (Jean Reno) with a bunch of other Americans who have their own reasons. Going through their training, and eventually combat, it’s the story of a group of men volunteering for a fight that may not have been their own but would up becoming part of the makeup of their lives.
By all rights this should’ve been the film that Flags wound up being: a defining film on a generation long since gone. A near two and a half hours in length, with a big epic storyline, this has everything one would expect (including a doomed romance) that one expects from a film covering this subject. It just doesn’t have any heart to it, that’s all. One of the things that makes any war film click on a certain level is that it has to have that human element to it; there’s not enough character development before the film turns into an action film set in a war. We care about James Franco, et al, because they’re the good guys but there’s not much else beyond that. We’re given perfunctory reasons to care about why they’re doing what they’re doing but there’s no deep thing that resonates. And none beyond the perfunctory as they go forth, either, as anytime you have a film about a subject matter of this nature you need more than “they’re doing it for (x)” in a montage shot.
It does have wonderfully crafted action sequences, though, as the early days of aerial combat make for an interesting look back in an era of missiles and targeting systems. Martin Henderson also shows off some dramatic chops that he’d only shown on London’s West End.
Mild recommendation.
What Looks Good This Weekend, and I Don’t Mean the $2 Pints of Bass Ale and community college co-eds with low standards at the Alumni Club
Resident Evil: Afterlife – Alice (Milla Jovovich) and her continued adventures killing zombies.
Skip It – None of the Resident Evil have been decent, don’t expect this one to do anything more but take a couple extra dollars out of your wallet for 3D.
Heartbreaker – Alex (Romain Durais) makes a living breaking up couples for profit. Now he’s about to meet one girl (Vanessa Paradis) who’ll change all the rules.
See It – In limited release, it’s already being targeted for an American remake and has been a massive hit overseas.
I’m Still Here – Casey Affleck follows brother in law Joaquin Phoenix as he decided to retire from acting to become a rapper.
See It – Another film in limited release
Do you have questions about movies, life, love, or Branigan’s Law? Shoot me an e-mail at Kubryk@Insidepulse.com and you could be featured in the next “Monday Morning Critic.” Include your name and hometown to improve your odds.
Scott “Kubryk” Sawitz brings his trademarked irreverence and offensive hilarity to Twitter in 140 characters or less. Follow him @MMCritic_Kubryk.
