From what I hear (I opted to watch a DVD of The Kids Are Alright rather than the Superbowl last night) pretty much anyone could have outdone the halftime show from the Black Eyed Peas last night, but it brings extra joy to my heart that they were outdone by McKinley High’s New Directions.
Glee‘s post-Superbowl episode was, in my opinion, a smashing success. And thank god for that, because I stayed up way past my bedtime to see it. Killer musical performances, tons of funny lines, and the show just generally felt like it did back when it started. There was something classic about it. Rachel and Mr. Schu were more likable than they have been, Sue was crazy mean and kids were getting slurpeed.
The episode kicked off with the Cheerio’s blue-haired, fiery-boobed tribute to Katy Perry, which was apparently designed to draw in male viewers. Riiiight. What with Christina Aguilera singing (and flubbing) the national anthem, the Black Eyed Peas (painfully) performing during halftime, and the follow-up of Glee, I’m a little surprised this Superbowl thing scored any male viewers in the first place. The Cheerios performance was fantastic, but not fantastic enough for Sue. As Quinn wisely pointed out, Sue wasn’t happy unless she kept outdoing herself. Man, pregnancy treated Quinn well. She seems way smarter now.
Sue’s solution to her drab cheerleading routine was to shoot Brittany out of a cannon. Sure, there was a 70% chance of total catastrophe, but so what? It’s all for a good cause!
Meanwhile, tensions between the football players and the glee kids were reaching new heights as they headed to the playoffs. So Schu and Bieste came up with a way to bring everyone together – forcing them to perform an elaborate number as part of the halftime show!
This was, obviously, rather far-fetched, but so is everything on Glee. The mixture of fantasy and reality in this show has been what I’ve loved from day one. Is the popular crossover country tune “Need You Now” the best way to win over a bunch of jocks? No! Do I care? No! Rachel and Puck killed it, plus Rachel looked amazing in her cute dress and red tights. And Puck tried to smash his guitar over a dude’s head, which is always a bonus.
The big half-time show number was, of course, a mash-up of “Thriller” (by MJ, obvs.) and “Heads Will Roll” (by the Ya Ya Yas). I particularly enjoyed a mumbled line from one of the jocks of “Who’s yeah yeah yeah?” Everyone would be zombies, because if you’re already making jocks super uncomfortable by having them sing and dance, you might as well add elaborate make-up to the deal as well.
The Dalton Warbler’s performance of “Bills Bills Bills” would have seemed totally out of place in the episode had it not been so damn likable. Oh Darren Criss. Your character is a bigger stage hog than Rachel Berry, but do I ever love you.
I’m thrilled that they covered this tune, since Destiny’s Child was heavily featured on the soundtrack to my teenage life, and I remember vehemently defending this song when it came out. Nothing says thirteen year old girl like taking a cheesy pop song way too seriously. I was all “No guys, you’re totally misinterpreting the lyrics! They don’t want dudes to pay their bills, they just want them to pay the bills they rack up! Beyonce is, like, totally empowered.” Or, you know, something to that effect. I probably also referenced “No Scrubs”.
As amazing as this performance was, I’m still wondering when Kurt will get sick of taking a backseat to Blaine. For reals, dude is the ONLY guy in that group that ever gets to sing lead. And if we know anything about Kurt, we know he’s a Beyonce, not a Michelle. (See what I did there?) I love these guys together, and I loved seeing them have coffee with Rachel and Mercedes ( Blaine loves football, Kurt loves scarves!) but I want to see this addressed.
Sue convinced Brittany to sign her life away in exchange for a cheerleading victory (and so that the cannon could feed the baby cannons…poor Brittany, she’s so easy to convince of anything) and she moved the cheerleading tournament so that it conflicted with the football game. Santana, Quinn and Brittany first chose Cheerios, but Finn finally got through to Quinn and they all came back to New Directions. The storyline felt a little recycled, but for this episode it worked. How long will these girls be out of uniform, though? I don’t mind seeing Quinn as a normal chick, but Santana and Brittany were born cheerleaders.
Even though things seemed to be going well with the jocks and gleeks, things fell apart when Karofsky got slurpeed. All the jocks quit the football team, so the girls stepped in to save the day.
I actually really liked the idea that all the girls in New Directions joined the football team so that they’d have enough players, even though it was kind of stupid. It was worth it for a few prime moments – Rachel’s face when she walked out onto the field, the new girl’s desire to bring it (is it Lauren? I keep forgetting she’s there) and Tina’s big moment of actually playing.
The girls’ plan of dropping to the ground for every play obviously wasn’t going to work, though, so Finn set out to save the day. He brought back the cheerleaders, Puck got through to the jocks, and everyone – even Karofsky! – joined in on the Thriller/Heads Will Roll mash-up, which was epic. The football team kept their zombie makeup on for the last half of the game, and distracted the other team enough to win the title. I wonder if Coach Taylor has ever thought about using this “Brains! Brains! Brains!” tactic? It seemed rather successful.
In the end we learned that Sue lost all her funding to Will, so now the kids don’t need to raise money for the bus to Regionals. And Finn and Quinn kissed, which wasn’t too surprising since many of us already knew that she and Sam are going to break up.
Best Moments
- Sue’s misspelled tattoo. Yikes!
- Sue directed a made for TV movie about the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders.
- Sue’s journal makes another appearance! My favorite.
- Sue’s destructive rage when Figgins told her she couldn’t fire anyone out of a cannon without their consent. Also, I really dug the look on Will’s face when she started throwing things around.
- Kurt brings Finn a glass of warm milk every night in hopes that they’ll engage in some lady chat.
- Katie Couric telling Sue that she surpassed the economy, Mel Gibson, the housing market, Dina Lohan, Wall Street, Tiger Woods, the Dallas Cowboys, Brett Favre’s cellphone, 9% unemployment, and Sparky Lohan (Dina’s dog who is apparently also a loser) for the title Loser of the Year.
Best Quotes
- “You’re not going to try and kiss me again, are you?” – Bieste to Schu (I really like this friendship)
- “I don’t want to die yet. At least not until One Tree Hill gets canceled.” – Brittany
- “Maybe it won’t so weird when I go Tik Tok on your face.” – Puck
- Quinn: “If we go to the cheerleading competition, then we miss the halftime show and we’re out of glee club. I’m torn.”
Santana: “Well, I’m not.”
Brittany: “I’m Brittany.” - “The glee club together with the football team, it’s like a double rainbow. A zombie double rainbow.” – Brittany
- “I try to make a habit of not touching carnie folk. But, fella, I’ll take it.” – Sue
- “If you don’t climb in that cannon, that routine will be all “boom boom” and no “pow”. And that Brittany, is so 2000 and late.” – Sue
Bonus quote: “I was gonna donate my Chevy Cruise to Charity. Charity is my cat – she totaled her SUV last weekend.” – Brittany, in a commercial
I know there were even more awesome quotes, so share some of your favorites below! What did you think of “The Sue Sylvester Shuffle”? Did it live up to your expectations?
