Howdy, everyone! I’m back for the second edition of Gojira’s Stomping Ground and I have to say I was impressed by the amount of feedback I received for my first foray, so thanks to everyone who took the time to respond and/or read my work.
The following is a direct quote from one of my students, written on an exam about biographies:
“We read biographies to get information. For example, Barack Obama is black. If we didn’t have biographies we would never know that.”
Despite the fact that we spent the last month emphasizing the importance of biographies, I was caught off-guard by that little nugget of wisdom from one of my 7th graders. I was, in essence, swerved.
Which leads me to the topic of this week’s column:Â my Top Ten Swerves in Professional Wrestling.
Swerves are designed to surprise the audience and regain interest if viewers deem a storyline or character as having peaked. Sometimes swerves are obvious if the storyline is simplistic (such as when Bret Hart turned against the U.S. during his feud with Austin) or even downright pointless (why did Lex Luger join the nWo?). Some swerves are so devastating that they change the landscape of the wrestling world itself (a few of which are noted in my list).
Before I go into detail with my list, a disclaimer is necessary. In no way, shape, or conceivable form does this list imply the Top Ten Swerves of All Time. This is a list of the most memorable ones for ME. Once again, I’d love to hear feedback in the comments section.
NOTE: The Chris Jericho man-crush has been kept to a minimum.
10. Tatanka Joins the Million Dollar Man
In the Summer of 1994, Tatanka accused Lex Luger of having sold out to DiBiase’s Million Dollar Corporation. Luger repeatedly denied this claim until DiBiase himself approached Luger with a bag of money in a red, white, and blue bag. It seemed as though Tatanka was telling the truth, until Luger refused the cash and was attacked from behind by a now-heel Tatanka! It was Tatanka all along who had been bought out and he began a feud with Luger which culminated in a cage match on Raw, which can be viewed here.
9. Edge Cashes In
At Wrestlemania 21, Edge won the first-ever Money in the Bank ladder match to earn the right to challenge for any World Title at any point within the year. Fast forward to New Year’s Revolution, 2006, where John Cena successfully defended his title in a grueling Hell in a Cell. After the match, Edge’s music hit and the fans could not believe what they were seeing. But you can see how it all went down here.
8. Boiler Room Brawl
During Undertaker and Mankind’s historic feud, they met at Summerslam in 1996 for the Boiler Room Brawl. It was a brutal match whose ending could only be obtained by reaching Paul Bearer in the center of the ring and accepting the urn. The two battled their way to ringside, where Undertaker seemingly had the upper hand. Unfortunately, Bearer had other plans and konked the Deadman over the head with the urn, giving the victory to Mick Foley. I was 14 at the time and boy, was I horrified. Aw hell, just take a look at the footage and see for yourself.
7. Sting Turns Heel
Toward the end of the failed WCW revival, Sting was set to face Hulk Hogan on September 12, 1999 for the WCW Championship. As usual with WCW’s main events, there were run-ins galore but this time the fans were in for a shock as longtime WCW stalwarts Sting, Lex Luger, and Diamond Dallas Page turned heel. Hey, I never said there was any real logic to this one, but it did make for interesting TV. That is, until everyone realized it was WCW. Check it out.
6. Stone Cold Leads the Invasion
After Wrestlemania 17, Austin turned heel and joined with his most hated rival, Mr. McMahon. I personally did not enjoy this phase of Austin’s career, as his constantly whining persona did not spark my interest. However, as the WCW/ECW Alliance grew in power following Shane McMahon’s coup the WWE needed a hero. McMahon pleaded for the old Stone Cold to come back, but instead the plan backfired and on July 22, 2001, Austin joined the Alliance at Invasion.
5. The Reverend Eric Bischoff
In late 2002, the team of Billy and Chuck were set to be married (Weird. Almost seemed as though Russo was writing this shit.). The ceremony was set for Smackdown, where GM Stephanie McMahon and Wedding Planner Rico prepared a generic wedding set in the ring, complete with a whiny old codger as the minister. As the ceremony came to a close, Billy and Chuck admitted that the whole thing was a publicity stunt and admitted they weren’t gay. As they argued with Rico, the minister interrupted and it was clear after a few moments that this seemingly harmless old man was anything but harmless. This is one of my favorite Smackdown moments of all time. Check it out starting at the 4:00 mark.
4. The Montreal Screwjob…Round 2
At Survivor Series 1998 (subtitled “Deadly Game”) the WWE Championship was up for grabs in a competitive tournament that saw corporate favorite Mankind go up against fresh new babyface The Rock. Keep in mind we already saw Shane McMahon turn heel by flipping off Austin earlier in the night, so we got two swerves for the price of one! In the final round, The Rock applied the Sharpshooter to Foley in a mockery of the previous year’s debacle and was instantly awarded the WWE Championship. Keep in mind that just a couple of months earlier, the company was seemingly turning The Rock into a face, so this was quite the shock. Instantly, Foley became the sympathetic work horse and The Rock a totally reviled heel, more so than when he was in the Nation of Domination. Here’s a nice little highlight video of the PPV. Check out the 5:00 mark for Shane’s infamous finger flipping.
3. The Finger Poke of Doom
Yeah, you knew this was going on my list. This moment in time officially killed WCW. In late 1998, Kevin Nash defeated the unstoppable Goldberg for the WCW Championship thanks to Scott Hall and a taser. On January 4, 1999 (a day which will live in infamy…what is WITH January 4th these days?!) Hulk Hogan came out of retirement to challenge Nash for the Big Gold Belt. What we got instead was this shit. Needless to say, I stopped watching WCW after that. No, seriously. The Monday Night War ended for me that evening, and I realized at that moment that World Championship Wrestling was on its way out.
2. The Montreal Screwjob
It was tough for me to decide which swerve deserved my number one spot, because both changed the future of the business in one way or another. I don’t think I have to say any more than see for yourself.
1. The nWo’s Third Man
Bash at the Beach 1996 signaled the end of the Real American and the beginning of Hollywood Hogan. It is also significant because it forced Vince McMahon to step up his game or risk getting taken out by Ted Turner. The moment that changed the face of wrestling.
And those are my Top Ten Swerves. Before I get into your picks for Mark Out Moments, there are a couple of newsworthy items that came through the wire this week that I feel a need to discuss.
*Someone at the ‘E must have heard me last week when I mentioned how the storyline from Unforgiven 2008 between CM Punk and Randy Orton was unresolved, because Punk brilliantly used it last Raw as his motivation for screwing Orton out of the title. Continuity in wrestling? You must be joking!
*Vince McMahon claimed on Raw that we would meet the special Guest Host for Wrestlemania 27 next week. Here are my top suspects:
Triple H: Possible, if only to set up his return to face Sheamus, who is currently in a holding pattern.
The Rock: Recently mentioned that he’s in talks with Vince to do something big. Least likely, since next year in Miami he’ll be the focal point of the Hall of Fame.
Shawn Michaels: As the head inductee this year, HBK is most likely to be the Guest Host.
Stone Cold Steve Austin: Given that he has made headlines lately as host of Tough Enough, it makes sense to increase his exposure the night before his show debuts.
And that’s all for my thoughts. Here are some of your favorite mark out moments (many of which would have made my Top Twenty) Keep in mind that I omitted any repeats from my Top Ten:
From Ricardo Rochetti:
-Edge cashes in Money in the Bank, defeats John Cena for his first WWE Championship reign.
– Jericho and Benoit defeat Austin and HHH for the tag titles.
– End of Wrestlemania XX (Eddie and Benoit in the ring, together)
– Rock defeats HHH at Backlash 2000 (McMahon-Helmsley Era had been running rampant on babyfaces)
– Hardy Boyz defeat Dudley Boyz in Tables Match at 2000 Royal Rumble
– Christian defeats Jeff Jarrett for NWA World Heavyweight Championship (yes, a TNA entry. Sue me, I’m a huge Christian fan)
From Owangotang:
– Sting finally deciding to go after nWo at Uncensored.
-Sable whipping out the painted Sable Bombs.
-Lex Luger’s entrance at Halloween Havoc ’90 (mostly because it was before YouTube and his theme music BELLOWED through the UIC Pavilion, love that theme to this day)
-Ron Simmons absolutely beasting Vader with a powerslam and winning the title.
-Austin enduring the sharpshooter and passing out.
-Ultimate Warrior winning the IC title.
-Sting limping into Clash of the Champions and fighting Rick Rude on the rampway.
– Ultimate Warrior beating Hogan.
From Steven Gepp:
-Benoit winning the WCW championship against Sid Vicious and the wrestlers on the stage clapping them, face and heel alike (sans NWO).
-Bret Hart walking back into the WWE in 2010.
-The end of WM 20
-Goldberg defeating Hogan on Nitro.
-The ring collapsing in the superplex with the Big Show and Brock Lesnar
-Savage v Steamboat, WM 2.
-Warrior defeating Hogan (it is mark out moments, right? Well, I marked out live with it)
-Grimm vs Mimic III, hardcore match (RCW – one of the greatest matches and vertainly the most intense match with the hottest crowd ever that I have ever seen live)
From Sebastian Howard:
1. Wade Barret beat Chris Jericho
Someone new was put over!
2. Bryan Danielson came back.
WWE=Stupid in the first place for firing him.
3. Danielson/Miz Promo from RAW
That was pretty cool
4. When Cena beat the crap out of Darren Young
Flashing to Austin 99 when he did this, however Cena is not Austin.
5. When Danielson wrestled Miz on TV
Of course Miz just attacked him and when Danielson got the advantage Riley subbed for him.
Going out of 2010 here.
6. When Undertaker won the title from Edge at WM 24
I was a huge mark here so I was REALLY happy to see that big fat meanie face Edge lose the title after holding it for months.
7. When Jeff Hardy did that Swantom onto Orton
I was a mark here obviously and I loved the fact that Orton got what was coming to him, how ever he retained the title against Jeff so I was a bit mad.
8. CM Punk winning the Title from Edge after using the MITB
Edge had just beaten Taker and Batistia in seperate feuds and I was so happy to see Punk beat him for the title.
9. When Trips chased Orton around with a sludgehammer.
Mark here and I REALLY wanted to see Orton hit with that sludgehammer.
10. When Trips and Taker wrestled each other in the Elimination Chamber in 08.
These were the two biggest guys in WWE and at this point you didn’t know who was going to win. They havn’t wrestled each other in so long it was fresh and new, and Trips came out on top.
And finally from Sideshowbob:
–Ricky Steamboat getting his larynx ‘crushed’
–Thinking one of the Chicago Bears could’ve actually won the Battle Royale at WM2
–Jake The Snake has his cobra bit Macho Man
–Jannetty getting kicked through the Barber Shop
–Undertaker losing the casket match to Yokozuna
Thank you to everyone who sent in their lists. I know there were more participants but there’s only so much I can include in one column and this beast has run its course.
Some shout outs before I hit the ol’ dusty trail:
Check out Pulse Glazer’s latest here.
Enjoy the always entertaining Andrew Wheeler here.
Thrill at the amazing wordsmith Jonah Kue right here.
As always, leave me your favorite swerves and I’ll post them next week.
Until next time: so long, and thanks for all the fish.
