Welcome to Inside Pulse Wrestling’s Live Coverage of WWE Monday Night RAW!
We’ll know in 59 minutes who is returning….
John Cena comes out to kick off RAW and he looks happy. He says that he’ll face the Miz at WrestleMania. One problem though, since last Monday he only heard some comments by someone known as The Rock. Cena is at a loss for words. He wants to look at the footage again.
So, I propose a new drinking game as we gear towards WrestleMania. Every time “ass”, “bitch”, or “damn” is said on WWE TV, take a shot.
John Cena says he still has a degree in Thuganomics and he is going to send the Rock a message. Cena reverts back to the good old days and he busts a rhyme. Look at all the material we’ve missed in this rap.
Michael Cole intends on interviewing Jerry Lawler tonight.
46 minutes…
Commercials.
CM Punk v. John Morrison
Morrison and Punk are beat up from last night’s Chamber match. Lock up to start and Morrison gets the first shots in. Punk works on the knee and Morrison is in trouble. Dropkick connects on the knee and Punk mounts him. Punk torques the knee in an Indian Deathlock type maneuvar. Morrison comes back and he sends Punk rocking. Punk covers up a bit. Off the ropes, Morrison kicks the knees and hits the GTS for the pin.
Winner: CM Punk
Grade: N/R (Can’t effectively rate this match since both wrestlers were injured going into the match)
CM Punk calls out Randall Keith Orton. He says that he gave the New Nexus the night off. He references when Orton kicked him in the skull over two years ago. He tells Orton that he has the most important decision to make. He calls on him to walk away as he doesn’t deserve to be at WrestleMania. Punk warns him that he’s going to hurt him if he shows up at RAW next week. Of course what happens when Orton shows up tonight? Punk gets his ass handed to him and the New Nexus comes out to restrain Punk. Night off, my ass.
Commercials.
Oh God, Alberto del Rio makes his way to the ring because we already knew that.
Del Rio makes his way down the ramp and Kofi Kingston attacks only for Ricardo Rodrieguz to make the save. Del Rio is all over Kingston and he applies the cross-arm breaker in an attempt to break the arm. Referees help Kingston up and he shoves Kingston into the ring post and that arm looks like it got separated.
The Miz and his man-servant arrives and they scare off the random guy that seems to be in the scene with him and John Cena.
Commercials.
The Miz and his man-servant walk out on the stage and he calls the crowd a big embarrassment for marking out to the Rock. He calls out the Rock for saying that he sucks…as that’s the best insult he could come up with. The Miz says that he’s in the main event of WrestleMania. Did he win the Royal Rumble? I could have sworn Alberto del Rio won it, but I could have forgotten. The Miz cares less about the Rock, yet he rips the Rock and John Cena off a bit.
The RAW GMail chimes in and he is tired of all the Rock references. He makes a reference to the Rock & Sock Connection, so the main event will be The Corre defending the titles against the Miz & John Cena.
Commercials.
Eve Torres & Gail Kim v. The Bella Twins
They lock up and Gail tosses out one of the Bellas. Back in the ring and she owns one of them. Crossbody gets two and Gail goes to the corner. The other Bella twin drops Gail like a bad habit and she’s in trouble. The announcers aren’t even trying to distinguish which Bella is which, so why should I? Eve tags in and she sends one of the Bellas to the ropes. Crossbody block gets a two count. Standing senton gets two and Gail goes down. Twin magic happens and Eve gets school-girled for the win.
Winners: The Bella Twins
Grade: D+
Three Minutes.
Commercials.
We’re back and we’re counting down… The door opens and the Undertaker walks out. We go back to the live shot to which The Undertaker emerges from the smoke. Undertaker doesn’t get a moment to speak as TRIPLE H MAKES HIS WAY OUT! They stare each other before looking at the huge WrestleMania sign. Undertaker showcases a shit-eating grin before putting his hat back on. He turns around and does the cut throat to Triple H, who responds with a crotch chop. We fade away…
Commercials.
We recap at what we just saw earlier. Michael Cole confirms the match.
Sheamus v. Mark Henry
Both men employ power tactics, but Henry gets the upperhand and the fight goes outside the ring. Sheamus begs off back inside the ring and Henry falls for it. Sheamus targets the knee and he connects to the head for two. Sheamus continues on the attack. Sheamus connects with a knee to the head on the apron. He launches himself on Henry to get a two count. Sleeper try, but Mark Henry is too strong. Henry makes a comeback, but Sheamus cuts him off. Sheamus evades a big splash and he kicks Henry in the temple. Brogue kick attempt, but Sheamus decides to expose the turnbuckle instead. Big mistake as Henry pancakes him into the turnbuckle. World’s Strongest Slam connects and that’s all.
Winner: Mark Henry
Grade: C
Commercials.
Daniel Bryan jokes around with Gail Kim and Sheamus takes offense to it. Interesting.
We highlight our next WWE Hall of Fame inductee…”Hacksaw” Jim Duggan!
Michael Cole gets inside the ring to get ready to interview Jerry Lawler. He makes himself known as an award-winning journalist and better than all the other WWE announcers. The interview…IS NEXT!
Commercials.
Jerry Lawler makes his way towards the ring for the interview. Michael Cole asks Jerry how he felt heading to the match last night. Jerry says nothing. Michael gets to the next question, asking if he should retire after he lost. No response. The next question revolves around his deceased mother. How did he feel when he let his mother down. Lawler puts his hands on Cole and he tells him that if he mentioned his mother again, it’ll be his last. He tells Cole that he has his own WrestleMania challenge…him versus Michael Cole. He calls him senile and that he’ll never get him in the ring ever. Jerry tells Michael Cole to be a man. The blazer comes off and Cole tosses some liquid in Jerry’s face before running like a coward.
The Corre walks.
Commercials.
We’re back and Jerry Lawler takes over for Michael Cole.
WWE Tag Team Championships: The Corre (Heath Slater & Justin Gabriel) v. John Cena & The Miz
The Miz and Heath Slater start things off. Amateur wrestling to start things off. The Miz takes it to Slater while Cena mockingly claps. Tag to Gabriel and the Miz takes him down with a drop toe hold. Cena wants a tag and he gets it. Gabriel hits his shoulderblock for two. Cena gets kicked and he hits a fisherman’s suplex. The Miz gets a tag and he hits the corner clothesline. The Miz looks for the Skull Crushing Finale and Heath Slater does not interfere.
Winners AND NEW Tag Team Champions: John Cena & The Miz
Grade: FTS
Wade Barrett gets on the microphone and they want to invoke their rematch clause and they want it right now.
WWE Tag Team Championships: John Cena & The Miz v. The Corre (members to be determined)
Commercials.
We’re back and it’s Slater & Gabriel representing the Corre. Miz tags to Cena and Gabriel tags Slater in. Slater gets some offense in, but Cena gets a crossbody for the win. Tag to the Miz and they work together in the exchange. Off the ropes, Miz gets dropped by Ezekiel Jackson and the Miz gets attacked by Gabriel. Tag to Gabriel and he works on the Miz a bit. Slater gets in and they double team Miz in their corner. Barrett decks Miz behind the referee’s back. Slater applies a headlock and the fans cheer the Miz on! Miz misses wildly and Slater gets a neckbreaker for two. Tag back to Gabriel. Miz comes back with the Reality Check and the Miz can’t reach Cena. Slater drops the knee on the Miz for the two count. Headlock applied again and The Miz misses Cena again and he continues to get his ass handed to him. Gabriel gets two off the exchange. The Miz tries again to reach Cena, but fails. The Miz fights Gabriel off, but it doesn’t work. Gabriel leaps off into a waiting Miz boot and we get hot tags! Cena takes Slater for the ride and he hits his moves of doom. Attitude Adjustment attempt, but the Miz comes from behind to hit Cena with the Skull Crushing Finale! Slater covers Cena and that’s that.
Winners AND NEW Tag Team Champions: Heath Slater & Justin Gabriel
Grade: B-(Crappy booking aside, the second match was miles better than the first)
The Miz shows off at the top of the stage.
Show over.
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