The Rager – Submissions and Agreeing with Michael Cole

Columns, Top Story

I want to thank everyone again for the feedback last week. For future references, if you have something you’re raging about, leave a comment and I just might add my two cents on that issue in the following Rager. Anyways, here’s what I’m raging about:

1. I was covering WWE Superstars for Inside Pulse Wrestling (yeah, shameless self-plug, don’t judge, you would do it too) and I wondered why Chris Masters hasn’t received a decent push (one that didn’t involve dancing pecks). Don’t get me wrong, during his first run, I rolled my eyes every time he pulled out the Masterlock challenge and I was completely alright with his release. But now, it seems like he has some sort of legit talent however you would really only know this if you watch Superstars. Its my opinion that he at least get a mid-card push, seeing as how the mid-card champs like Kofi Kingston are getting completely buried anyway. The only thing I would like Masters, himself, do differently is to develop a finishing move thats not a submission. I actually feel the same way about Daniel Bryan, who I thoroughly enjoy watching in the ring. I feel like a wrestler needs a legit finishing move that makes them unique from everybody else and I don’t think a submission move cuts it. As always, there’s an exception and that would be a submission like Undertaker’s Hell’s Gate. If somebody’s finishing submission move could be like that, then I’d be a happy camper. I don’t know what it is, but something about Hell’s Gate gives me the legit creeps and really seems to be full of evil. I’m talking about the kind of evil that most evil has nightmare’s about, the kind of nightmares where evil is drowning in an evil sea of evil-flavored jello.

2. As I watched Raw, I had an internal conflict because I found myself in complete agreement with Michael Cole as he stood atop the announcing table and exclaiming that nobody cares about the Divas Championship match. Before that moment, I had wished Michael Cole would go play in traffic because he was finding a way to turn every topic to his match with Lawler and the announcement he was going to make that night. Don’t get me wrong, being able to turn a topic like he did requires a lot of skill, especially that frequent in such a short amount of time. Still, I wanted him to be dragged into the middle of the street at night and beaten with dead rodents (19th Century London style, what up). But then to have that emotion turned on its ear so quickly when he got on the mic, almost made my brain implode from confusion wrapped in bewilderment. Last Note: I loved seeing JBL, hated him in the ring and his story-lines but I loved him on commentary.

3. I’m going to get to Pop’s random thought later on but he did bring up an interesting point. He sat down to watch Raw last week, which was surprising because he doesn’t follow wrestling and never has. He managed to watch the first 45 minutes before throwing in the towel with his main complaint being that there was way too much talking and hardly any fighting. This came to mind as earlier today, I rewatched the very first Wrestlemania and I noticed just how much more theatrics are involved today and how much more of an effort is put into giving each wrestling some sort of personality. I’m not really trying to make a point here, just thought it was interesting. I’d also like to make some of you feel really old by saying that when the first Wrestlemania aired, your’s truly was -3 years old. Also, and this is a legit inquiry, was Iron Sheik always completely insane?

4. I LOVED Miz interrupting Cena’s promo. I was waiting for something to happen the entire time Cena started rapping again because I was hoping so hard that they would do something different with this. This goes back to my comments I made last week about enjoying Miz interjecting himself because he felt like he was the forgotten man. Well, forgotten no more and I love how WWE handled that. Maybe now he’ll attack Rock in his comfy home that looked a lot like he was standing outside an elevator at a hotel OR Rock might actually show up on Raw to do some more promoting for Wrestlemania. I’d hate to agree with Cena but there really is only so much one can do via satellite and I believe they’ve made that angle tap out.

(Get it? I ended the column with a submission, just like I said I didn’t like submissions being a finisher for matches. Gotta love a heart-felt contradiction)

Pop’s Random Thought of the Week
“How come when you’re trying to put tooth paste on your tooth brush, the tooth paste will easily slide off the brush but will stick to the sink?”

See you all next week. Once again, feel free to comment and rage with me (because you know you wanna).

Chris is a writer from Fayetteville, NC. He's the co-creator of Irrelevant But Awesome Productions which produces podcasts you all know and love like Classy Ring Attire, Trashy Ring Attire and The Disney Magic Podcast. You can keep up with everything on twitter by following @IBAStudios and @CWSanders39