Keri Hilson sings “America the Beautiful,” and that segues right into a video package for tonight’s host, The Rock!.
Now the Great One himself comes out to a thunderous ovation. He runs through some catchphrases and gets the crowd fired up.
Now comes the introduction video with highlights of WrestleManias past and present. Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, and Josh Mathews are calling the action.
MATCH #1: World Heavyweight Championship Match – Edge (with Christian) vs. Alberto Del Rio (with Brodus Clay and Ricardo Rodriguez)
I’m pretty shocked that this is going on first. Del Rio goes after the injured arm early on, which is smart strategy. He takes Edge to the floor to inflict more punishment. The challenger charges and Edge moves out of the way so Del Rio crashes hard to the floor. Edge follows him out with a dive and both men are down on the floor. Back in the ring Edge goes up top but Del Rio armdrags him down and gets a two-count. Edge comes back with a leg lariat and a big boot to the face. He gets a flurry of offense going, including a flapjack for two. Del Rio stays focused and goes back to the arm. Edge counters with the Edge-O-Matic for two. Del Rio comes back with the Cross Armbreaker but Edge reaches the ropes. While Del Rio argues with the ref Edge is able to recover and clothesline Del Rio’s neck off the top rope. Edge goes up top again and Del Rio takes him out with a solid kick to the head. Christian and Brodus Clay get into it at ringside and Christian gets the worst of it. Edge takes advantage and gets a quick schoolboy rollup for two. He hits the Edgecution. He goes for the Spear but Del Rio avoids it. Moments later Del Rio locks on the Cross Armbreaker in the center of the ring! Edge escapes and locks on the Edgecator! Christian recovers and hits Clay with a tornado DDT off the apron! Del Rio is able to escape the hold but Edge drills him with a Spear to get the pin!
WINNER – Edge, retains World Heavyweight Title [***1/2]
Christian returns with a tire iron and a leap pipe, and they lay waste to Del Rio’s car.
Tough Enough returns tomorrow night after Raw!
MATCH #2: Cody Rhodes vs. Rey Mysterio
Cody’s new theme music is absolutely awesome. Rey’s costume tonight is a Captain America theme. They go right at it and Rhodes goes right after Mysterio’s knee brace. Rhodes uses his protective mask as a weapon. He locks on a camel clutch and continues working Mysterio over. Rhodes even hits an Alabama Slam for two. A noticable “let’s go Cody” chant breaks out. Rhodes locks on the Yokozuna nerve hold. He hits a stalling superplex, which is really cool. He goes for Cross-Rhodes but Mysterio counters and sends Rhodes to the floor. Mysterio joins him on the floor and sends Rhodes into the ring apron with a headscissors. Back in the ring Mysterio hits the Whoopee Cushion. Rhodes comes back with a wheelbarrow suplex for two. Mysterio comes back with a headscissors and a dropkick. He goes for the 619 but Rhodes had it scouted. Rhodes catapults Mysterio into the middle rope. He undoes Mysterio’s knee brace and throws it to the floor. Even so Mysterio hits a moonsault for two. Mysterio takes off Rhodes’s mask and hits the 619! He goes up top for something but it gets countered so he settles for a kick to the face. Mysterio then puts on the discarded mask and delivers a couple of headbutts. He goes up top and hits a diving headbutt but Rhodes kicks out at two! Rhodes slides to the floor and grabs the knee brace, and when Mysterio tries to follow him out with a dive Rhodes bashes him in the face with it! Back in the ring Rhodes hits CrossRhodes to get the pin!
WINNER – Cody Rhodes [***1/4]
Backstage Teddy Long welcomes Snoop Dogg back to WrestleMania. Snoop is looking for some talent so he’s holding auditions. First up is William Regal rapping. Great Khali and Beth Phoenix try their hand at “Grease.” Zack Ryder sings Rebecca Black’s “Friday” and Roddy Piper hits him with a coconut. Chris Masters and Yoshi Tatsu do a rendition of “We Will Rock You.” Hornswoggle is out next, and Long tells Snoop that this guy can’t really talk. Snoop and Teddy leave. Then the Bella Twins come out and dance with Hornswoggle while he raps. So I guess midgets are real people.
MATCH #3: Eight Man Tag Team Match – The Corre (Intercontinental Champion Wade Barrett, Ezekiel Jackson, and WWE Tag Team Champions Justin Gabriel & Heath Slater) vs. Big Show, Kane, Kofi Kingston & Santino Marella
Satino and Slater start it off with some chain wrestling. Show quickly tags in and throws Slater around. Jackson tags in and takes Show out. The match breaks down and bodies are flying everywhere. Marella comes in the ring and hits Slater with the Cobra. Show follows up with the knockout punch and it’s over in about two minutes.
WINNERS – Kofi Kingston, Santino Marella, Kane & Big Show [*1/2]
Backstage the Rock is hitting on Divas Champion Eve. Rock says that he’ll create an unforgettable moment with the next person who comes around the corner no matter who it is. It turns out to be Mae Young of course. Mae says she wants the People’s Strudel. Rock makes jokes about Mae being old and sends her away with Eve. Then Stone Cold Steve Austin walks in! They exchange pleasantries in a very tense fashion.
MATCH #4: CM Punk vs. Randy Orton
Orton starts off hot, throwing Punk around and to the floor. Punk comes back and kicks the ring steps into Orton’s injured knee. Back in the ring Punk hits a cross body off the top rope for two. Orton comes back with the backbreaker. Punk goes right back to work on the knee. He sets up for the Go to Sleep but Orton fights out of it and goes for the RKO. Punk escapes that and lands a kick to the face for two. He goes up top and Orton knocks him down. Orton pulls Punk up top and delivers a superplex for two. Punk comes back and locks on the ring post Figure Four. He takes Orton back in the ring and continues assaulting the knee. Orton fights out and hits a couple of clotheslines and the powerslam. He hits a Thesz Press. Punk comes back with kicks. He sweeps the leg and then locks on the Anaconda Vise! Cole wisely points out that Orton can’t push out of the move with his injured leg, which is unusual insight from a WWE commentator. Orton reaches the ropes. Punk goes to the apron for something, so of course Orton counters with the Orton DDT. Orton gets psyched up for the Punt Kick but his leg gives out underneath him. Punk gloats and almost gets caught in an RKO but just slips out. He then goes for the springboard lariat but this time Orton catches him with the RKO to get the pin.
WINNER – Randy Orton [***1/4]
The Rock is backstage shooting the breeze with Mean Gene Okerlund. Rock says John Cena’s number one fan is here, and it turns out to be Pee Wee Herman! Using Mean Gene as a visual aid, Rock is able to convince Herman to join Team Bring It!
Buy “The True Story of WrestleMania” DVD! It’s pretty good.
The 2011 WWE Hall of Fame Inductees
This year they inducted Abdullah the Butcher, Sunny (looks great), the Road Warriors and Paul Ellering, Drew Carey, “Bullet” Bob Armstrong, “Hacksaw” Jim Duggan (his 2×4 has a bow tie!), and the greatest of all-time, Shawn Michaels.
Tomorrow night the Hall of Fame ceremony will show at 8:00 p.m. on USA, followed by Raw and Tough Enough.
The Raw Recall is Jerry Lawler abusing Jack Swagger with a chair, and then going after Michael Cole.
MATCH #5: Michael Cole (with Jack Swagger) vs. Jerry “The King” Lawler *Special Referee “Stone Cold” Steve Austin*
Booker T comes out to join Mathews for commentary, and he’s followed by Hall of Famer Jim Ross! Cole comes out in his ridiculous orange getup and talks trash about JR and the King. Lawler has to get through Swagger first. Cole offers a handshake through his Cole Mine, and Lawler grabs his hand and pulls his face into the Cole Mine repeatedly. Lawler then climbs in there and starts hammering Cole with punches. He throws Cole into the anonymous General Manager’s computer stand. Finally Lawler throws Cole into the ring and Swagger attacks as soon as Austin’s back is turned. Cole hits a baseball slide and distracts the referee, allowing Swagger to lock Lawler in the Ankle Lock. Back in the ring Cole goes to work on the ankle. This goes on for quite a while. Cole then hits the Swagger Bomb. He pulls down a strap and puts on the An-Cole Lock. Lawler kicks out of the hold and stomps a mudhole! He even walks it dry. Swagger tries to throw in the towel. Austin just uses it to wipe his dome. Swagger tries to plead his case that the match should be stopped, and he eats a Stunner for his troubles! Cole tries to beg off, and then Lawler unloads on him with right hands. Lawler hits the dropkick! Then he goes up to the second rope, pulls the strap down and lands the big fist drop. He pulls Cole up at the count of two! Lawler then locks on the Ankle Lock and Cole immediately submits but Austin takes his sweet time calling for the bell! Great ending.
WINNER – Jerry Lawler [**]
Commence the Beer Bash! Booker T joins the party and adds a Spinaroonie. Austin then gives him the Stunner for old time’s sake. The anonymous GM chimes in and Mathews goes over to read it. The GM says that because Austin overstepped his authority, Lawler is disqualified and Cole wins the match! Lawler throws Mathews into the ring and Austin delivers a Stunner.
WINNER – Michael Cole, via disqualification. [*, loses a point for reversing the finish]
Next up is a recap of Fan Axxess.
MATCH #6: No Holds Barred Match – Undertaker vs. Triple H
Triple H has a “300” type gimmick added to his entrance tonight. HHH attacks right away with right hands. Undertaker comes back and hurls HHH to the floor. HHH throws more right hands but Undertaker grabs him and throws him into the steps. Undertaker prepares the Spanish Announce Table to be broken, but HHH intercepts him and tackles him into the Cole Mine, busting it up. Undertaker just looks pissed now. Back in the ring Undertaker hits the flying clothesline. He goes for Old School but HHH pulls him down to the mat. The battle spills back to the floor and the Game is in control. HHH prepares the American announce table. He goes for the Pedigree but Undertaker backdrops him to the floor! Undertaker waits for a while and then hits the running dive over the top rope and appears to land on his head again. But he’s okay! Undertaker then repositions the ring steps, but it’s HHH who grabs a charging Undertaker and hits a spinebuster to break the SAT! They get back in the ring and Undertaker hits a Chokeslam for two! HHH fights back with mounted punches in the corner. He avoids the Last Ride but can’t avoid Snake Eyes. Undertaker charges and HHH hits another Spinebuster. That gets two. HHH brings a chair but gets it slammed back in his face. Undertaker grabs the chair and cracks it across HHH’s back. He goes for another shot but HHH kicks him in the gut and hits the Pedigree, but Undertaker kicks out at two! HHH sets Undertaker on the top rope, but Taker slips out and hits the Last Ride, and HHH kicks out! Undertaker hits the Tombstone but HHH kicks out again! He sets up for a Tombstone on the chair, but HHH slips out and hits a DDT! They struggle back to their feet and HHH hits the Pedigree but Undertaker kicks out! HHH hits a third Pedigree and Undertaker kicks out again! A frustrated HHH grabs the chair and cracks it across Undertaker’s back no fewer than nine times. Undertaker pulls himself up and HHH blasts him in the face with the chair. HHH keeps yelling at Undertaker to “stay down” and “just die.” Undertaker stumbles back to his feet and HHH hits the Tombstone! Undertaker kicks out! Now HHH gets desperate and grabs the sledgehammer. Undertaker grabs HHH in the (sort of) Hell’s Gate! HHH tries to grab the sledgehammer but he fades and moments later taps out! The streak lives on!
WINNER – Undertaker (19-0) [***1/2]
Please DO NOT Try This At Home.
WrestleMania XXVIII will be April 1, 2012 in Miami, Florida.
MATCH #7: John Morrison, Trish Stratus & Snooki vs. Dolph Ziggler & Lay-Cool (with Vickie Guerrero)
Vickie Guerrero handles the introduction for her trio. McCool starts off with Stratus and almost hits an early Faithbreaker but Stratus reverses to a facebuster. Stratus goes for the Stratusphere and winds up on the top rope slugging it out with McCool and they both tumble to the floor. Layla tries to come to McCool’s aid but Stratus takes them both out with a clothesline off the apron. Back in the ring Stratus gets a schoolgirl rollup for two. Stratus hits the Chick Kick and Ziggler pulls her off the cover. Morrison throws Ziggler to the floor and wipes him out with a corkscrew dive off the ropes. Snooki tags in and gets heartily booed. She successfully executes the Chyna handspring elbow, and then a cartwheel into a splash. That’s enough to get the pin on McCool.
WINNERS – John Morrison, Trish Stratus & Snooki [**]
Extreme Rules comes your way on May 1.
WrestleMania has set a new attendance record for any entertainment event at the Georgia Dome at 71,617 (a palindrome number!).
MATCH #8: WWE Championship Match – The Miz vs. John Cena
The video for The Miz is AWESOME. Cena’s is good too but not as good as Miz’s. A gospel choir is on hand to sing “My Time is Now.” That’s tremendous but the crowd boos. Cena then comes out with some new bright red gear. The referee has the bell rung twice to start the match. Miz tries to wear Cena down with a headlock but Cena powers out and quickens the pace and Miz slows it right back down. Miz goes to work, whipping Cena into the corner and hitting the running clothesline. Every time Cena tries fighting back Miz has an answer for him. Miz delivers a boot to the face for two. Cena tries an awkward cross body and misses, and Miz kicks him to the floor. Miz hits a million dollar knee lift for two. He tries the Skull Crushing Finale but Cena slips out and lands a series of shoulder tackles. A very vocal part of the crowd is not impressed. Cena hits the Five Knuckle Shuffle. He goes for the Attitude Adjustment but Miz counters with a DDT for two. Miz counters the STF into the Reality Check for two. He exposes one of the turnbuckles and Cena traps him in a small package for two. Cena trie sthe Attitude Adjustment again and Miz slips out, but this time Cena is able to lock on the STF. Miz reaches the ropes. The referee gets distracted and Riley grabs Cena from the apron and rams his head into the exposed steel! Miz then hits the Skull Crushing Finale but Cena kicks out! He goes for another one and the referee takes a bump. Cena now hits the Attitude Adjustment but there’s no one to make the count. Riley comes in the ring with the briefcase and clocks Cena with it. Cena kicks out at two! Cena makes a comeback and hits a big Attitude Adjustment but Miz kicks out! Miz rolls to the floor. Cena follows him out and clotheslines him over the barricade. Miz looks to climb back over the barricade and Cena knocks him further back into the crowd. The referee counts both men out.
WINNER – Draw via double countout [**3/4]
But wait! The Rock comes out. The anonymous GM sends an e-mail and Rock heads over to read it. Unfortunately for the GM, IT DOESN’T MATTER WHAT HE THINKS! Rock restarts the match with no DQ, no countout, no time limit. Cena and Miz get back in the ring, and Rock hits Cena with the Rock Bottom! Miz crawls over to make the pin and retain the title! What?!
WINNER – The Miz (retains WWE Title) [**3/4]
Rock goes back to the ring to take Miz down and deliver the People’s Elbow.
