Well, it’s obviously not about quantity here, but this is Pulse Wrestling, so it’s damn sure about quality. Three of our brightest minds have come together and sunk their teeth into this card. They were unanimous on nearly everything, so let’s see where these predictions take them.
TNA World Title Match
Sting (c) vs. Mr. Anderson vs. Rob Van Dam
Chris Biscuiti: Due to the Jeff Hardy fiasco, Sting was denied a chance to show he could still go in a main event level title match. At the very least, we know that RVD and Anderson won’t show up to the show unable to compete. There’s a ton of pressure on TNA to deliver a top quality PPV from top to bottom, and so I hope that this ends up being a logically constructed triple threat that goes long and keeps everyone in suspense, but does NOT involve run-ins, interference, or any other kind of overbooked hodgepodge. At the end of the day, I think RVD wins, Anderson gets even more angry, and Sting moves towards the forefront of the larger Immortal feud he has been setting up.
Winner and new champion: RVD
Rhett Davis: So does Hulk and Eric have alzheimer’s? I mean Hulk brings him to TNA true, but then they beat him down for months. That makes no sense for RVD to want to get on their bandwagon or Anderson for that matter. Ahhh have to love TNA logic. Anyways this match should be pretty good. Three interesting styles clashing. Sting with his slower technical style, Anderson with his Orton/Austinesque ‘I can throw punches’ style, and then RVD’s original ‘Kicks of Khaos’ (misspelled on purpose, don’t grill me) style. As for who wins… that’s has me puzzled. Immortal could ‘cheat’ for any of them to try and incorporate them or this could be a straight finish which would surprise me knowing TNA. Therefore… the winner amidst Immortal attempting to help…
Winner (and NEW TNA Heavyweight Championship): Rob Van Dam
M.C. Brown: I think RVD will win with questionable help from Immortal thus raising accusations and questions on an eventually innocent RVD. Need more tension and for Mr. Anderson to keep yelling about his rematch and being screwed over.
Winner: Rob Van Dam
Lethal Lockdown
Ric Flair, Abyss, Brother Ray & Matt Hardy vs. Daniels, Kazarian & Beer Money
Chris Biscuiti: Immortal has had Fortune’s number for awhile now, so I have a feeling the tide gets turned here. Besides, I hope Daniels’ return is considered a big deal and I’d love for him to avenge AJ here by sticking it to Hogan and Co.
Winners: Fortune (with Daniels)
Rhett Davis: Well Immortal gets their one man up and it looks like James Storm may be getting the night off. I’m so tired of these huge men steel cage matches. I don’t really have much else to say. Both of these factions need legitimacy, but fighting each other is just getting stale.
Winner: Fortune (Daniels or Kaz doing something amazing)
M.C. Brown: This match is built for an AJ return and Fortune revenge
Winner: 3Tune plus Daniels
TNA Knockouts Title vs. Hair Match
Madison Rayne (c) vs. Mickie James
Chris Biscuiti: I am actually shocked that Mickie James has been in TNA this long and still hasn’t secured her first Knockouts title. Now is the time where HARDCORE COUNTRY (credit: Blair A. Douglas) make her mark, likely with help from Tara. This will set up the anticipated feud between Madison and Tara, and hopefully Mickie will have enough competition as champ in a pretty depleted division.
Winner and new champion: Mickie James
Rhett Davis: Well I’ve guessed this match wrong every PPV so I think for once I can finally pick it correctly. Mickie James wins unless they want a new Molly Holly. Because that worked with her.
Winner (and NEW TNA Knockouts Champion): Mickie James
M.C. Brown: Mickie is not shaving her head. Although the shoulder injury will limit this match, sadly enough.
Winner: Mickie James
Ultimate Xscape Match
Max Buck vs. Jeremy Buck vs. Suicide vs. Robbie E. vs. Amazing Red vs. Chris Sabin vs. Jay Lethal vs. Brian Kendrick
Chris Biscuiti: One of the Bucks will win, so I’ll go with Jeremy, randomly.
Winner: Jeremy Buck
Rhett Davis: With no mention of this in the card lineup, I’m not positive this is going to happen, but I’m psyched if it does. As for who wins… (btw who is Suicide now?) it’s kind of a crapshoot. I think this should be for the #1 Contendership if it isn’t, but I’ll go with one of the buck brothers. What do you mean I can’t guess both? Ugh fine… *picks from hat*
Winner: Max Buck
M.C. Brown: They really need TV time. What a shame. My money would be on either Max Buck or Chris Sabin. Since Buck is a heel, money is on
Max Buck. Especially since Sabin is nowhere to be found on iMpact these days.
Winner: Max Buck
Kurt Angle vs. Jeff Jarrett
Two of Three Falls
Chris Biscuiti: I believe this is now two of three falls for two reasons: 1) to stretch out the match because TNA thinks people like this feud (we don’t); and 2) to protect Jarrett (not that he needs it) by having him win one of the falls even though he will lose the match. I honestly hope Angle beats up Jarrett so badly that he wins it in two straight falls, but that won’t happen, so…
Winner: Kurt Angle, 2 falls to 1
Rhett Davis: *sigh* Do I really have to talk about this feud? The best part about this match is that it isn’t involving the children’s home. But I’m sick of this… this feud is why I haven’t been able to watch much the last month.
Winner: Not TNA fans. I mean Kurt Angle.
M.C. Brown: Kurt should just demolish Jeff Jarrett in my perfect world. Unfortunately he’ll have to win 2 falls to 1, probably losing the first fall. I’d love to see him beat Jeff 2-0, tho. Maybe Kurt will be DQed the first fall. One can only hope if they are stretching this three falls.
Winner: Kurt Angle
Matt Morgan vs. Hernandez
Chris Biscuiti: Hernandez reforming LAX (at least that what it looks like) is fine, but I still would have preferred the original LAX simply sticking around for a few years rather than the group disband and then come back now as an afterthought. As for Morgan, he is the ultimate afterthought these days. Well, besides Samoa Joe of course…
Winner: Hernandez
Rhett Davis: I’m okay with this match-up even if it is rundown like the rest of this card for the most part. They should get really nasty in the cage though. I mean blood everywhere. This could easily go either way so I’m going to stick their names in a hat and pick. *picks name*
Winner: Hernandez
M.C. Brown: Hernandez is in the middle of a huge push, not to be derailed here. He wins with help from Mexican America.
Winner: Hernandez
The Pope vs. Samoa Joe
Chris Biscuiti: PLEASE END THIS FEUD. It hasn’t worked from the beginning, there is ZERO chemistry between Pope and Joe, and I still don’t know who to root for, since Joe’s been a d**k and Pope’s been a p***k <– and that’s the closest to five stars they’ll get on this one.
Winner: Samoa Joe
Rhett Davis: So it goes from on the card and sucking to announced and then taken from the card to back on the card. Good luck Joe and Pope. Apparently TNA has no faith in either of you and that’s depressing. Pope lost a few months ago but on impact this week he got the upper hand.
Winner: Samoa Joe
M.C. Brown: Joe lost on iMPACT pinned by Pope.
Winner: Samoa Joe
Scott Steiner & Crimson vs. Ink Inc. vs. Douglas Williams & Magnus vs. Orlando Jordan & Eric Young
Chris Biscuiti: I actually think this match has a puncher’s chance of being decent. Of course, they also gave away too much of it on iMPACT this week, but WWE did the same thing with Miz-Rock-Cena on the go-home Raw before WrestleMania in a much more egregious miscalculation. I’ll give the returning British Invasion (of sorts) the nod.
Winners: Douglas Williams and Brutus Magnus
Rhett Davis: Why don’t they go ahead and call this a #1 Contender’s match? The winner of this fatal-4-way in a cage should earn a tag title shot, but just to cover their own unwillingness to commit they didn’t. Anyways enough ranting, I’m glad they actually have some tag teams to play around with. Therefore I’m going to pick the newly reformed British Invasion to win this one if for nothing else than a new feud.
Winners: Magnus/Williams
M.C. Brown: Need some fresh heels to challenge Beer Money.
Winner: British Invasion 2.0
