Inside Pulse Wrestling’s WWE RAW Report – 04.25.2011: Time to Shake Things Up Again!

Reviews, Shows, Top Story, TV Shows

Welcome to Inside Pulse Wrestling’s Live Coverage of WWE Monday Night RAW!

WWE Draft Lottery Pick: Red & Blue Battle Royal

Chaos to ensue and you can bet your money that I’m not going to be detailed about battle royals. Kane is your first person to leave by my count. The other big red man, Khali gets tossed over too. Koslov gets tossed away from the camera. Bye Ezekiel Jackson. Remember the concept “Bragging Rights?” This is what this is. Slater gets eliminated. Masters trips out of the ring. Barrett gets dumped like a bad habit. DiBiase continues his unlucky streak. Surprised Yoshi Tatsu lasted as long as he did. Sheamus almost gets dumped, and still does with McIntyre connects with a knee. Break time seven minutes in.

Commercials.

We are back and Daniel Bryan gets dropped like a bad habit by the Big Show. Bourne gets McIntyre out of the ring and RAW has the advantage. Santino tries the COBRA, but Big Show does it on him, so he goes out. Even steven again. Mason Ryan takes Cody Rhodes out and Kofi Kingston eliminates Daniel Bryan. Two on two. The big men go at it and the two smaller ones take each other on. Kofi evades danger. Big Show sends Bourne to the turnbuckle. He leaps and he gets tossed and loses a few teeth in the process. Pele Kick by Kingston and Mason Ryan gets dumped.

Winners: Big Show, Kofi Kingston, & SmackDown
Grade: N/R

SmackDown gets wait a second. Wait a second. John Cena? This can’t be right.

Commercials.

John Cena comments on being drafted to SmackDown. He vows on taking the WWE Title back to the Smack. Here comes the Miz and he brags about not being able to see John Cena.

Michael Cole is in his wrestling attire and hoodie bragging about facing Jim Ross in the main event tonight.

We go back to last week and the resurrection of R-Truth…going from a man with no direction to a man that was being talked about more than the Miz in the last week.

R-Truth comes out and he tells the fans to boo themselves, saying that it is all about them. He complains about John Morrison making him crack under pressure. He says the fans are pissing him the hell off. The censors miss every instance of “piss” it’s laughable. He mocks the fans for being off-tune and off-beat for rapping to his music. He then mocks “Little Jimmy”. This sounds like Heidenreich talking to Little Johnny. He feels better getting off the ten year itch of being too damned good. This brings out John Morrison who gets some retribution before getting restrained. This doesn’t work, so he does it again and every referee tries to restrain him again.

Commercials.

Last week, Michelle McCool has had enough of Layla.

Layla v. Eve Torres

Draft pick on this match and Michael Cole doesn’t even give the divas thirty seconds. Eve Torres pays no attention to Cole and schoolgirls Layla for the pin. That was about thirty seconds.

Winner: Eve Torres
Grade: FTS

Post match, Layla pops McCool one in the mouth before she exhibits a bit of roid rage by throwing McCool over the announce table. This is more violence than you normally see on two divas.

RAW gets Rey Mysterio. This is the third time he gets drafted. Does this mean SmackDown gets Sin Cara?

Commercials.

Cody Rhodes promises to give Cody Rhodes a going away present – a new mask. One that the doctors put on him before emergency surgery.

Kofi Kingston v. Sheamus

Sheamus overpowers Kofi to start. He doesn’t let up. Cover gets two. Sheamus misses a corner charge and lands on the ring apron. Kofi up top..and back down, but gets two. Kofi tries Control Frenzy and Sheamus counters. High Cross is blocked, as is the Brogue Kick. Trouble in Paradise connects and there we go.

Winner: Kofi Kingston
Grade: FTS

SmackDown gets Randy Orton. This Draft makes me wonder.

Commercials.

Michael Cole (w/Jack Swagger) v. Jim Ross (w/Jerry Lawler)

Booker T joins us for commentary as we relive the “most embarrassing moment of JR’s life”, according to Lawler. So, kissing Vince McMahon’s ass isn’t embarrassing?

Bell rings and Michael Cole acts like a fool to start. This isn’t sumo wrestling, Cole. One minute in and no contact takes place. Cole has the Shane O’Mac strut going on here. Cole leaves the ring to get JR’s hat. He piuts it on and he continues mocking JR. Two minutes in and I’m starting to get bored. He steps on the hat and we have just entered no man’s land. Cole worked up a sweat so Swagger dries him up. JR grabs the straps and he shoves him down. Time out, calls Cole. A stool gets put in the ring. Oh my God. This is ridiculous. Cole looks to pick JR up and that backfires. Ross punches away and Cole finds safety on the outside of the ring. Lawler isn’t having none of that and Swagger introduces Lawler into the ring post before asserting himself into the match to kick JR’s ass.

Winner via DQ: Jim Ross
Grade: FTS, literally

Michael Cole is bleeding from the lip and they take the belt off JR. Anklelock applied to JR and Cole gives him a few welts with the belt. Lawler makes the save and he gives Cole a few welts as well. Cole runs away like a coward and Swagger follows suit. The RAW GMail chimes in and Josh Matthews announces that the tag team match will be a “Country Whipping” match.

Scott tries to interview the Miz, but the Miz takes over the interview and he complains because he isn’t the center of attention. He vows that if he is drafted to SmackDown, RAW will be canceled next month. Keep dreaming, buddy.

Commercials.

Last week: Randy Orton outsmarts CM Punk and the New Nexus….AGAIN.

Randy Orton v. Dolph Ziggler

Two draft picks on the line here. Ziggler with a neckbreaker to start. He chokes Orton out in the corner. Snapmare takedown into a cover gets one and a half. Headlock applied, But Orton gets out of it and the fight spills outside of the ring. Ziggler gets a textbook dropkick sending Orton over the barricade. Orton beats the ten count and he is on fire. The Apex Predator hits the Apex Slam (my new name for the Angle Slam). Ziggler goes to the corner and Orton drops the 3.0 on him. He coils and he catches Vickie trying to interfere. Ziggler gets a schoolboy for two, but the RKO finishes.

Winner: Randy Orton
Grade: D

SmackDown gets…. CM Punk interrupts the draft because he is the most important man. He knows that their match will be nasty next Sunday and that Punk will beat Orton with everything he has and that a RKO won’t help him. Orton won’t be missing Punk ramble on and on. After Sunday, he won’t be talking, walking, eating, drinking, or moving. He will be unconscious.

We’ll get the draft picks next.

Commercials.

SmackDown gets Mark Henry & Sin Cara. I was right about Sin Cara.

Wade Barrett v. Rey Mysterio

Barrett charges from the get go. Corner to corner we go and Mysterio comes at him with kicks. Mysterio walks into a Black Hole Slam for two. Barrett kicks him in the head and he mounts him. Mysterio gets backed into a corner. Cover gets another two. He torques the back and stretches the arms of Mysterio. Mysterio gets some kicks in. Springboard crossbody gets two and Barrett regains control by slamming Mysterio into the corner. Both men fight and Barrett gets sent to the ropes. 619 connects and Mysterio dhits the headbutt for the win.

Winner: Rey Mysterio
Grade: C (Best match of the night so far.

RAW picks up Big Show & Alberto del Rio

Alberto del Rio is pissed off because he was drafted while Ricardo and Brodus wonder if they are left alone to rot.

Commercials.

Michael Cole is back.

We go over the Extreme Rules card.

Teddy Long makes his way on the stage. He announces our main event for the last WWE Draft Pick. CM Punk, Alberto del Rio, & the Miz v. Christian, Mark Henry, & John Cena.

Commercials.

CM Punk, Alberto del Rio, & the Miz v. Christian, Mark Henry, & John Cena

The Miz and Christian start things off. Miz goes low and he runs the ropes. Christian sends him on his ass before tagging in John Cena. The Miz runs like a b**** and we take a break.

Commercials.

We are back and John Cena is a one man wrecking crew. Punk is in the ring and he has to endure the wrath of Mark Henry. I notice Mark Henry’s SmackDown shirt is more pale than the others. Tag to Christian and he continues taking it to Punk. Christian connects with a second rope elbow. Punk tries the GTS, but Punk gets out of it. Punk kicks Christian to next week and Alberto wants some of him. Christian gets worked over and the Miz gets tagged. Kick to the head followed by a cover and a two count. Christian tries a comeback, but he is stopped cold. Punk covers Christian and he gets two. Christian goes to the corner and Punk tags back the Miz. The Miz goes low and Punk gets a parting shot in. Christian attempts the Killswitch, but the Miz hits his corner charge. Cover gets two. Tag to Del Rio and Christian needs a tag. He works on the arm a bit. We get a rope break and Del Rio sets Christian up for a superplex. Del Rio gets knocked down and Christian hits the tornado DDT! Tags all around and it’s the Miz and John Cena. Cena goes through the moves. Protobomb connects. Cena goes for the Five Knuckle Shuffle, but Mark Henry turns heel on SmackDown, that’s why his shirt was pale. Cena gets bulldozed and Christian eats steel steps. The Miz hits the Skull Crushing Finale and that is all.

Winners: The Miz, Alberto del Rio, & CM Punk
Grade: B+ (BEST MATCH OF THE NIGHT)

RAW gets JOHN CENA.

John Cena takes out the trash.

Show over.

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Paul Marshall has been with Pulse Wrestling since September 2007. He currently does a weekly WWE Column titled "This Week In 'E". Follow him on Twitter here.