The SmarK Rant for WWE Vintage Collection – 08.18.11

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The SmarK Rant for WWE Vintage Collection 08.18.11

WWF World tag titles:  The Smoking Gunns v. Shawn Michaels & Ahmed Johnson

This is from RAW, July 1996.  The Gunns attack to start and Billy Gunn eats a superkick for his troubles.  And there’s a birthday cake at ringside, which Sunny gets in her face.  Not the first time that Shawn has left icing all over her, allegedly.  Shawn rolls up Billy for one and clotheslines him out of the ring, and we take a break.  Back with Bart beating on Shawn outside, which gives Billy two.  Shawn is face-in-peril and we get more clipping to Billy hitting the Stinger splash for two.  Billy with a chinlock, but Shawn fights out and uses the dreaded double noggin knocker for the hot tag to Ahmed.  Ahmed is on the Gunns like Black Dynamite, but Bart pulls him out of the ring and Faarooq makes his debut by attacking Ahmed for the DQ at 6:00 shown.  Jerry Lawler notes that it looks like Ron Simmons.  Good call, King.  **

Gauntlet match:  Ahmed Johnson v. The Nation of Domination

If Ahmed can beat all three NOD members, the Nation has to disband.  This is from In Your House, May 1997.  We’re JIP with Ahmed beating on Crush and getting a suplex for two.  Crush comes back with a sleeper as the crowd is dead silent.  Ahmed with a rollup for two after escaping that predicament, but Crush puts hims down with a piledriver.  He goes for the heart punch, but Ahmed spinkicks him for the pin at 3:55.

Next up, Savio Vega, who bumps around for Johnson before a backdrop suplex gets two.  Johnson with a powerslam for two, but Savio bails to avoid the powerbomb.  Ahmed chases like a moron and gets superkicked, but Savio attacks him with a chair and gets DQ’d at 6:00.

Finally, with Johnson beaten down, Faarooq comes out, but he gets cradled for two.  He beats Johnson down, but walks into the spinebuster and sells it with twitching right leg, which is a nice touch.  Ahmed gets the tiger bomb for two, but Faarooq clips him and finishes with the Dominator at 9:04.  Three shitty matches for the price of one!  DUD for the whole lot.

Intercontinental title:  Ultimate Warrior v. Honky Tonk Man

From Saturday Night’s Main Event in December 1988.  Honky wants to run away right off the bat, so Warrior tosses him back into the ring and puts him down with a big boot.  Honky and Jimmy get introduced by Warrior and he pounds on Honky in the corner, then gets a running shoulderblock in a spot that was clearly supposed to miss.  So they do it again and this time the charge misses, what a shock.  Jimmy Hart distracts the ref and Honky uses the megaphone to take over, but really no sane person in the arena is buying that Honky has a shot here.  Honky stomps him in the corner, but Warrior comes back, only to miss an elbow. He runs Honky into the turnbuckles as the prerecorded crowd noise goes crazy!  The big splash hits the knees, which is not surprising because that’s where he was aiming at, and Honky gets two.  Warrior finishes him with a shoulderblock at 4:53, however, to retain the title.  Honky barely even got a near-fall here.  *

WWE title, loser leaves town:  John Cena v. Chris Jericho.

From RAW, August 22 2005. Seeing Cena with hair and Jericho with long tights is off-putting.  Jericho stomps him down, but they brawl outside and Cena goes after Bischoff, which results in him getting hit in the nuts.  And we take a break. Back with Jericho in control with some nice stiff kicks, but when he goes for a superplex Cena sends him to the mat again.  Cena whiffs on a high cross, however, and we go to the chinlock.  Cena fights back and tries the F-U, but Jericho reverses to the Walls.  Cena can’t make the ropes because Bischoff pulls them away, so Cena moves to the other ropes instead.  He fights back with a hard-fought F-U, but can’t cover.  He gets two, but Bischoff puts Jericho’s foot on the ropes.  And gives him brass knuckles.  Real ones, not the lame taped ones you usually see.  The Power of the Punch only gets two, however.  Cena sends Jericho into Bischoff, and the F-U finishes at 14:34.  ***  And so the WWE career of Jericho comes to an end, for a couple of years at least.

Not a great show this week, but it continues to be the most entertainly diverse one I’ve seen in forever.