The Stomping Ground: Why Gimmick PPVs Don’t Work

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The Internet: the final frontier. These are the witticisms of the columnist Mike Gojira. His mission: to explore strange new wrestling angles, to seek out new readers and new controversies, to boldly go where no writer has gone before.

Or not.

Welcome to The Stomping Ground; I’m your jovial-as-always host, Mike Gojira, one of the few columnists who DOESN’T disappear on you for months at a time *coughKuecough* or take a week off for his birthday *coughGlazercough*.

Bet you’re already hating my openings by now, huh? “Damn it, he thinks he’s funny by taking TV show openings and paraphrasing them!” Well, you can skip over them if you’d like. Then again, if you think you can do better, where’s YOUR weekly column, hmmm?

Ah, but enough Smarkasm for now. I meant to write up this column a few weeks ago, but I figured now would be a prevalent time since it deals with the upcoming WWE PPV, Night of Champions.

A couple of years back, the WWE decided (in its infinite wisdom) to make every PPV other than the Big Four a gimmick-themed PPV. We had Extreme Rules, all submission matches, Hell in the Cell, TLC, Money in the Bank, Elimination Chamber, etc. The problem with these PPVs is that they force feuds into a corner and ruin them. Often the gimmicks themselves ruin angles simply because the PPV demands its inclusion.

Look at Bragging Rights, which was a fine idea except for the fact that it happens a MONTH BEFORE Survivor Series, where the same damn rules apply in the elimination matches. Couldn’t the Bragging Rights match be a part of the Survivor Series card in order to kill two birds with one stone?

That brings me to Night of Champions. Does anyone else think it’s sad that we need a specific PPV to defend every title instead of, I don’t know, EVERY PPV? Could have sworn back in the day that being a title holder guaranteed you got a PPV paycheck. Now, a PPV with this gimmick does just that, giving the Tag Team, United States, and Intercontinental Championships equal footing with the WWE and World Heavyweight Championships. I take no umbrage with that.

What bothers me is how the belts have been treated before and most likely after the PPV is said and done. When was the last time either midcard belt had a real angle? Don’t tell me “Kofi Kingston chases Insert Belt Here” is an angle, because it’s not. Hell, even the Tag Team Championship has been treated like shit by the higher-ups. The Usos are built up and job to Team Nondescript, and now Bourne and Kofi are holding the belts. Why? Because the titles have to be on the line in a few weeks and the ‘E wants a higher profile match. Had it not been for the timing of the PPV, guys like Bourne, Hennig and Otunga wouldn’t even show up on camera at the event. All of a sudden, The Miz and Truth are teaming together. I can guess it’s for two reasons:

1. Creative has nothing for them.
2. The Tag Team Championship match can have some story behind it.

Out of the three previously mentioned titles, the only one I feel will get any true angle is the Intercontinental Championship because of the man associated with it: Cody Rhodes. Raw, meanwhile, is going to be focused on two storylines which will soon converge: the WWE Championship situation, and CM Punk vs Corporate. Even the Divas’ Championship gets a better angle than the US title, so I’m not expecting much for Dolph Ziggler.

On the opposite end of the spectrum, the theme of the PPV forces many burgeoning feuds to either end abruptly on live television or get put on the back burner. Case in point: R-Truth and Morrison didn’t settle up until AFTER Summerslam, whereas Ezekiel Jackson lost the title to Cody the week BEFORE. These were two feuds that could easily have made it onto the card. With Mark Henry earning a shot at Orton, does that mean Sheamus doesn’t get to one-up him, or is that on hold until after Night of Champions?

I haven’t read the Smackdown spoilers, but I’m assuming Daniel Bryan and Wade Barrett will continue their feud. Since a title is not on the line, they either won’t get a match or one of them (or both) will get shoehorned into an Intercontinental Championship match just to get them on the PPV. The same could be said for Christian and Sheamus, two of my Smackdown favorites. Do we turn the World Heavyweight Championship match into a four-way, or just ignore their presence? What happens to John Morrison and Sin Cara, and why the hell is Drew McIntyre still in the doghouse?

If the upcoming PPV is all title matches, will the company really put CM Punk in the background because he didn’t earn his rematch, or will they make an exception and have him face Nash in a special match? Could the WWE Championship match become a three-way between now and then?

So many damn questions! Let me know what you guys think.

Random Thoughts

Huzzah! Random thoughts are here again! Let’s start with Mr. Sin Cara. Tsk tsk. I didn’t read the spoilers for this week, but I did hear that the finish for Sin Cara’s match with Heath “Generic” Slater was so sloppy it had to be reshot, and then they redid the entire match after the show was over. Can we blame ring rust? Slater himself? Or how about good ol’ Mistico? I’d love to be at a taping event where they have to redo a finish or a match; it would be interesting to see how that gets played off for the audience.

How great were Punk’s jabs at Triple H’s manhood? I’m just worried that The Game only allowed that because at some point he’d get revenge, which doesn’t bode too well for Phil.

Are the Bellas still employed just to give Kharma something to look forward to when she returns?

What’s with the recent champagne baths provided by the D-Listers? If I had just won a title, the last person I’d want celebrating with me is Titus O’Neil or Yoshi Tatsu. Doesn’t exactly make you feel special.

Say what you will, Glazer, but I thought Daniel Bryan and Alberto del Rio had a good match last week on Smackdown. I don’t like that Bryan taps out so quickly, though; if he’s a submission specialist, shouldn’t he at least be able to fight it before tapping?

Mike Gojira’s Fave Five

1. CM Punk: Still gold on the mic, and round three with Cena on Monday was pretty damn good. I like how Punk is reversing finishers and kicking out of them as well; it’s a sign that he’s being protected like a top tier talent.

2. Alberto del Rio: The company has been on a roll promoting del Rio as a legitimate champ, and his last few matches have been really good. He hasn’t resorted to cheating to win and has also been taken to the limit by his opponents.

3. Cody Rhodes: Man, those acting classes have paid off for Rhodes. He even managed to get a fair showing out of former paper champion Big Zeke last week.

4. Daniel Bryan: He would have been higher on my list had it not been for his recent losing streak. I get it; he won Money in the Bank, he can afford some losses. But tapping out to del Rio two weeks in a row doesn’t boost my confidence in the guy.

5. Kofi Kingston and Evan Bourne: This was a tough pick, because I couldn’t single anybody out for the fifth spot. Nevertheless, congrats especially to Bourne for his first title in the company; the guy deserves it.

Cheap Plugs

We’ve got a brand-new tag team column up consisting of everyone’s favorite punching bag, Rhett Davis, and Joel Leonard which you can find right here.

Can’t get enough gondola references? Look no further than The Rager, wherein Chris Sanders calls out Rhett Davis for some reason. It’s amazing how well I can start trends here at the Pulse.

Patrick Spohr has a controversial suggestion about putting titles, concepts, and PPVs on hiatus. Check it out. Seriously. He name-drops me!

When he’s not being bosom buddies with Joseph Hargrove, he’s sending us a column once in a blue moon: check out CB’s World.

You’ve also got news posts from Kelly Floyd, Travis Leamons, and Blair Douglas is around somewhere, feasting on your child’s soul.

So long, and thanks for all the fish.

Since February of 2011, "The Master of Smarkasm" Mike Gojira has tickled the funny bones of Inside Pulse readers with his insightful comedy, timely wit, and irreverent musings on the world of professional wrestling. Catch his insanely popular column, The Stomping Ground, whenever he feels like posting a new edition (hey, I've earned the right). He is also totally modest and doesn't know the meaning of hyperbole.