The Stomping Ground: A Short and Sweet Rant

Columns, Top Story

Matt Hardy is an idiot.

Let me clarify that.

Matt Hardy is an attention-seeking idiot.

Before you start chastising/agreeing with me, hear me out.

I know full well what it’s like to have low self-esteem. I was never the tallest, most handsome, or even brightest kid in school. I wasn’t really picked on per se, but my reputation in school was that of a nerd. Now, I didn’t sit around talking about quantum physics or fear girls like they were the plague; I wore glasses and was pretty damn short, which at that point qualifies one for “nerd status.”

Not that those two things have changed, mind you. I’ve simply learned to use my quick wit to boost my self-confidence (the ladies LOVE IT).

The point I’m trying to make in all of this drivel is that I, too, have suffered from low self-esteem like one Matthew Hardy. I’ve been prone to minor bouts of depression and I know what the feeling of utter hopelessness is like, believing that no one gives a hang about you or that your life is pointless. It’s a horrible feeling to shake but when you do, it’s like a weight has been lifted. Getting that much-needed attention from friends and family boosts your confidence and lets you know that things are going to be all right.

At least, that’s how it makes me feel.

Matt Hardy, despite the fact that he gets far more attention than I, doesn’t seem to be able to escape his depression, and at first I pitied him. I felt bad because I knew exactly what he was going through.

Then he got an outpouring of support from fans and friends all over the world and I thought the issue was done.

Suddenly, he was at it again.

And again, the fans showed their love for Hardy.

A third time he lost his nerve.

Do you get where I’m going with this?

I understand that depression is not a joking matter and can be tough to shake, but sometimes you’ve got to learn to fight it. I’m not calling him stupid for being depressed.

I’m calling him stupid because of the stunt he pulled Tuesday night on Youtube. After posting a Youtube video consisting of scrolling text claiming that everything would end in mere hours, many fans apparently called the cops to check on him.

Can you guess what they found?

If your answer was that he’s totally fine, you’re right!

If reports that indicate he is going through a “rebirth” are true, Hardy has made a grievous and wholeheartedly moronic error: he has essentially worked the last few people who honestly gave a rat’s ass about his health and well-being.

To put it into perspective, imagine if I left a long message on my ex-girlfriend’s answering machine that I was going to kill myself. However, I had no intention of doing so; it’s just to get her attention again and hopefully get back together with her. That is the lowest form of playing with emotions that I can think of, as Hardy is toying with his family and friends just to get more attention.

And he KNOWS it.

Hardy can’t feign ignorance on this one and claim that it was a misunderstanding; his emotional downward spiral has been well-documented and publicized. This is simply the case of a man who is using people just to put attention back on himself.

To sum it all up for those of you who misinterpret this rant as that of a man making fun of Matt Hardy’s issues: I know what it’s like to be depressed and have low self-esteem, and for Hardy to “cry wolf” like this is unconscionable.

It’s a slap in the face to anyone who suffers from this type of emotional distress.

Mike Gojira’s Fave Five

No Random Thoughts this week, as I’ve said enough about both Raw and Smackdown during Tuesday’s live Smackdown coverage.

1. CM Punk: Punk had better be careful because even though his mic skills have kept him at the top of this list, his lackluster showing against Miz nearly derailed him. Let’s not forget the fact that Nash has owned him physically every time they got into it. I need to see more of Punk in the ring or he might lose the top spot to the next guy on this list.

2. Dolph Ziggler: Ziggler had a phenomenal outing on Monday night against Randy Orton and, if he finally drops Vickie Guerrero, he could be a top-notch smarmy face. Amazing how last year, when he feuded with John Morrison, I thought it was JoMo who carried the matches. I’ll admit I was wrong.

3. Randy Orton: The Viper had the two best matches of the week in the WWE, bookending both shows as he started Raw against Ziggler and ended Smackdown against Christian. Not bad for Mr. World Heavyweight Champion.

4. Mark Henry: The company is going all-out to make Henry look dangerous and it’s working. I’d like to see Henry as champ if ONLY to peak my curiosity. Again, I’m not “clamoring” for a Henry title run; just intrigued by the possibility and how it would be handled.

5. Mike Gojira: For being totally awesome and not at all full of himself. But seriously, there wasn’t enough good this week to counteract the crap we had to endure.

Cheap Plugs

One of the signs of the Apocalypse revealed itself Monday afternoon as Chris Sanders, Joel Leonard, and Rhett Davis collaborated in the latest Rager.

It must be a blue moon this week as we have another edition of CB’s World with special guest sideshowbob. No, not Kelsey Grammer.

Patrick Spohr tickles your funny bone (and other places, for the right price…the sick bastard) with a new edition of Caught in the Ropes.

Steven Gepp was bored this week, so he decided to re-watch EVERY PPV FROM JANUARY TO JUNE and rank all the matches in his Half-Year Review.

We’ve also got the usual suspects from the Island of Misfit Columnists scattered around somewhere.

So long, and thanks for all the fish.

Since February of 2011, "The Master of Smarkasm" Mike Gojira has tickled the funny bones of Inside Pulse readers with his insightful comedy, timely wit, and irreverent musings on the world of professional wrestling. Catch his insanely popular column, The Stomping Ground, whenever he feels like posting a new edition (hey, I've earned the right). He is also totally modest and doesn't know the meaning of hyperbole.