The Stomping Ground: I Survived a TNA PPV

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The most consistent IWC writer on Inside Pulse is back, yo! I pull no punches, make no excuses, and I say what’s on my mind.

That being said (used with permission from Blair Douglas), I actually sat and watched TNA’s “Wrestlemania,” Bound for Glory, last Sunday night. Mind you, this was after a 4-day weekend that involved the New York Comic-Con and the Jones Beach Breast Cancer Walk (save them titties!), so I rarely had an opportunity to rest.

I could sit here and whine about Raw like a petulant child (that seems to be the new thing around here, doesn’t it?) or I could espouse the entertainment value of Smackdown (of which our very own Chris Sanders is not a fan). I could respond to trolls who don’t agree with my opinions or talk about CM Punk’s position in the WWE for the Nth time.

Nope.

Not gonna do it.

Wouldn’t be prudent (bonus points if you get that reference).

Instead, I’ll let you in on my thoughts of Bound for Glory. Overall, the PPV was decent, but for everything the company did right, there were a hundred things that spoiled it for me.

1. Kendrick and Aries had a great opening contest. Aries’s reaction to that top rope Sliced Bread was great and both guys proved why the X-Division needs to be pushed more prominently.

2. RVD and Lynn had their generic massacre and I was legitimately worried for RVD when he took a rough bump on the outside.

3. Things started to go downhill from there. The Knockouts match was predictable, but if I were Velvet Sky I’d want my first title win to be more memorable instead of the result of a clusterfuck.

4. I’m not sure I enjoy Christopher Daniels as a Christian-like heel. It seems forced and out of character. Why couldn’t this just be a friendly rivalry that doesn’t resort to the use of a screwdriver? And the line about “murdering” AJ Styles? Weak sauce.

5. Jeff Hardy vs Jeff Jarrett does nothing for me. Nothing.

6. Am I in the minority here when I say I could care less about another Hogan face turn?

7. I still maintain that Bobby Roode deserved the title. The company spent MONTHS building up this tournament. MONTHS. Logically, if you want your fans to believe in a concept and cheer for it or demand more of it, you have to prove that it is a success. The ONLY way that could have been achieved would be if Roode walked out of the PPV Sunday night as the new TNA Champion. If the results of the upcoming Impact taping spoilers are true, it looks like Roode might possibly turn heel out of jealousy and frustration. If they keep him as a face for the foreseeable future then this tournament was a bust, plain and simple. I’ll wait and see, but the company doesn’t exactly have a great track record.

So, that’s what I thought after watching Bound for Glory. Nothing that happened made me interested in watching Impact so, as far as enticing me goes, they failed in that respect.

Random Thoughts From Around the Pulse

I thought I’d take a break from my usual Random Thoughts segment to mention my views on what others have brought to the table this week.

*Smackdown’s Battle Royal was brought up by both Sanders (who I linked to earlier) and Joel Leonard here. I agree that the match was a waste of potential, but what did you really expect? With only three weeks between PPVs they have to rush into feuds so it was a no-brainer that Cody Rhodes would get involved. I do believe that having Orton challenge Cody for the Intercontinental Championship would have made for an interesting match, but the ‘E seems to be saving that for Vengeance.

*My boy Glazer makes the claim that CM Punk is currently the best in the world by comparing him to Chris Jericho and Shawn Michaels, and while many of the points he makes are valid, Y2J and HBK have a hell of a lot more time invested in the business; that’s a tough comparison.

Steven Gepp’s Fave Five Jobbers

I’ve decided to change the format for my Fave Five segment. I’m inviting you, the reader (no, not you. The other guy behind you with the noose), to come up with your own Fave Five. You could post your Fave Five whatever in the comments section, or e-mail me your posts and you might see it in the near future. The first guest is none other than Crocodile Dundee himself, Steven Gepp. He’s decided to talk about his Fave Five Jobbers. By the way, notice how he numbers them in descending order; I think it’s some sort of Australian “Down Under” thing. You know, kind of like the way the toilets flow in the other direction.

5. Ranger Ross. I don’t know why, but I always enjoyed watching him have his arse handed to him
each time he got in the ring.

4. Scott Putski. I was a huge fan of his father Ivan: all body, no neck. But his son had little of the
talent, some of the size, and was beaten by everyone.

3. Scotty Riggs. After the break-up of the American Males, this guy could not catch a break. The
eye-patch, the least used member of the Flock, everything. He was just everything Buff Bagwell
should have been.

2. SD “Special Delivery” Jones. Only saw him a few times, but, man, could he be squashed like a
bug!

1. “Iron” Mike Sharpe. My favourite Jobber ever. His random screams, his never-healing arm in its
cast and his all-over hairiness just made him the epitome of the Jobber. I modelled my own
wrestling persona after Iron Mike.

Thanks, Steve-O! Remember, send in your Fave Five anything and I’ll post them in next week’s column. Check back here Sunday for my thoughts on the Vengeance card. Floyd may claim that I’m banned, but she loves my unending charm and witty banter and can’t quit me so easily.

Until then…so long, and thanks for all the fish.

Since February of 2011, "The Master of Smarkasm" Mike Gojira has tickled the funny bones of Inside Pulse readers with his insightful comedy, timely wit, and irreverent musings on the world of professional wrestling. Catch his insanely popular column, The Stomping Ground, whenever he feels like posting a new edition (hey, I've earned the right). He is also totally modest and doesn't know the meaning of hyperbole.