Pulse Glazer:
Hello everybody, after a short break wherein Comic-Con happened, we’re back to cover the Marvel Mega Event Fear Itself!
Grey Scherl:
Let’s be honest broski, we needed a few weeks to get in the right mind set to talk about something like this.
Pulse Glazer:
Fear Itself did indeed put some existential fear for mainstream comics into me.
Grey Scherl:
I’m an overall optimist and this book made me rethink my stance on Marvel Comics as a whole.
Pulse Glazer:
It’s a poor direction driven by stunts and not stories or character. Let’s start with how this made ZERO sense. What gave our villain du juor his power?
Grey Scherl:
He’s Odin’s never before mentioned older brother, and rightful king of the Gods, who is a weak old man until everyone gets afraid.
Pulse Glazer:
Right, but if he’s a weak old man at first, why the hell didn’t Odin just kick his ass then? Why run away?
Grey Scherl:
Because Odin’s grand master plan was to let the bad guy kill the humans so he could run in and clean up the scraps.
Pulse Glazer:
Which makes sense how?
Grey Scherl:
Well, that’s the thing, it doesn’t. Just like how Thor’s one of a kind hammer isn’t as powerful as the EIGHT evil other ones.
Pulse Glazer:
So the plot doesn’t make sense! How about the characters?
Grey Scherl:
Bucky is one of the few that’s in character. That did wonders for him.
Pulse Glazer:
For the few pages he’s alive, yes. Captain America practically quits, Spidey tries to run away….
Grey Scherl:
Iron Man sits most of the event out in favor of getting drunk with dwarves in his own book.
Pulse Glazer:
And then saving the day by giving everyone weapons that’ll never be seen again! Deus Ex much?
Grey Scherl:
The best is that he turns his bio armor into a Destroyer knock off that we won’t see again. Because now all of his Iron Man variants are inside of his skin.
Pulse Glazer:
I never liked that idea.
Grey Scherl:
It works until something like this happens.
Pulse Glazer:
It just overpowers him and takes away a lot of the coolness factor for me.
Grey Scherl:
The horrible writing and stupid drunkenness did that for me.
Pulse Glazer:
Well, at least Sin was rescued immediately. God forbid anyone ever go out of circulation for a bit.
Grey Scherl:
I liked how practically none of the “Worthy” had jack and shit to do in this book.
Pulse Glazer:
Why would they? It was an emotionally void fight scene. How easy did it seem for Thor to beat the Serpent? And who’s idea was it to turn the damn guy into a literal snake when no other Asgardians do that? We should have gotten Frog Thor vs. this loser.
Grey Scherl:
It was a bad joke in seven parts not counting tie-ins.
Pulse Glazer:
Tie ins didn’t really seem to have much to do either. Did any really deam with the theme of fear? The only good ones I read where Journey into Mystery, which is pop Sandman, and Uncanny X-Men.
Grey Scherl:
Uncanny was Gillen making the absolute most of it, Avengers Academy was pretty damn good, and I did like some of the Avengers stuff, but for the most part it was the usual fodder.
Pulse Glazer:
You really need to trade JitM. Gillen has yet to write a comic I don’t enjoy.
Grey Scherl:
One of these days.
Fear Itself was a Transformers movie.
Pulse Glazer:
Sooner is better. Fear Itself was about that bad, yes.
Grey Scherl:
I like the Transformer movies, but then again, I see them for what they are. Popcorn action flicks with no real plot. Something that works in movies.
Pulse Glazer:
I hate them. One was bad but acceptable, 2 I walked out of and 3 I won’t see.
Grey Scherl:
See, that’s your problem, you went to a theater to watch two. The movies are too damn long for a theater.
Pulse Glazer:
It’s too damn stupid for words.
Grey Scherl:
Third one was entertaining, but the pause button REALLY helped.
Pulse Glazer:
Ha, back to Fear Itself.
Grey Scherl:
It was an emotional void of big moment after big moment with no cool down time, no reason to care, and no sense that anything would matter once it was over.
Pulse Glazer:
Hey, Thor died! FOREVER!
Grey Scherl:
AGAIN!
Pulse Glazer:
Good thing the Avenger movie is coming, or we wouldn’t know when he’s back.
Grey Scherl:
Did you notice the giant open area in the Bagley promo art? I bet it’s Thor.
Pulse Glazer:
You can actually see the outline of the hammer if you look closely.
Grey Scherl:
You sure can.
Pulse Glazer:
Well, good thing everything changed. All that’s gone is Bucky – in a move absolutely no one was clamoring for.
Grey Scherl:
Also, Hawkeye now wears a purple version of Green Arrow’s outfit.
Pulse Glazer:
That’s so relevant. Gotta love movies.
Grey Scherl:
Marvel lives to try and bring in that minute percent of movie goers who want to turn into monthly readers.
Pulse Glazer:
Which seems to happen about never, judging by sales.
Grey Scherl:
Minute percent, like, half a percent. One or two people.
Pulse Glazer:
Outnumbered by those that this nonsense drives away
Grey Scherl:
Yup. I know Fear Itself has driven me out of the “Heroes” line of Marvel. Leaving me with Spider-Man and X-Men….and FF.
Pulse Glazer:
I’m, as always, following writers, though Matt Fraction is no longer one of those.
Grey Scherl:
I can’t read like that, it leaves too much good stuff skipped over. But Frac is off my list, after last year me naming him the best thing at Marvel.
Pulse Glazer:
I’m torn on if I’m still getting Iron Man.
Grey Scherl:
Next issue is yet another FI tie in as he’s yet to even go back to Earth.
Pulse Glazer:
Well, I think that’s a .1 issue.
Grey Scherl:
I’m not even sure if I want Point One anymore.
Pulse Glazer:
I don’t. Well, that officially makes this series an abject failure at everything…. except for pretty art!
Grey Scherl:
More or less. Iron Man, Cap, Thor, the Avengers….it’s all scorched earth for me now.
Pulse Glazer:
Who would have thought – it wasn’t even Bendis! I’m still on JitM, and maybe Iron Man. I’m trying Aaron’s Hulk. That might be it.
Grey Scherl:
Jason Aaron couldn’t sell me a damn thing after Schism. I’m buying Hulk for Silvestri, and X-Men for Bachalo.
Pulse Glazer:
I like Schism besides the damn kids.
Grey Scherl:
I hated the kids, the Acuna art, and the fact that Wolverine was the “good guy” despite being the biggest asshole in the series. He wanted to save the kids so badly that he went and got drunk rather than fight Sentinels, and then tried to blow them all up.
Pulse Glazer:
Ha, well, I like Wolverine being an asshole.
Grey Scherl:
He should be an asshole, but he’s a hypocritical asshole that is being played up as the good guy in a situation where he was written as the worlds most self righteous jackass. I can’t fathom how any of the kids would actually think he has their best interests in mind after he tried to blow them all up.
Pulse Glazer:
Somehow Aaron forgot to do the entirely obvious tie in with his solo Wolverine book, which would have explained everything.
Grey Scherl:
Well, that book would have to not suck first.
Pulse Glazer:
Ha, no, it could be terrible and serve an important plot function.
Grey Scherl:
I fear Wolverine and the X-Men will follow suit with the last several books of his I tried to read. One strong arc followed by crap.
Pulse Glazer:
They’re fighting the damn kids in it, too.
Grey Scherl:
Bachalo art.
Pulse Glazer:
Hellfire babies.
Grey Scherl:
Uncanny wins the Schism. Marvel loses Fear Itself. They put together an event worse than Secret Invasion.
Pulse Glazer:
So, a rating for this nonsense?
Grey Scherl:
I want to give it an F. 4/10, with all 4 being the art. Only good part about it.
Pulse Glazer:
I’ll go 1/10. It’s just a failure all around.
Grey Scherl:
There were some good tie ins, but mostly shit from bell to bell. This made Secret Invasion look good.
Pulse Glazer:
It made House of M look good.
Grey Scherl:
Secret Invasion made House of M look good.
Pulse Glazer:
Disagree. House of M was so amazingly irrelevant.
Grey Scherl:
Yeah, but it had pacing to go with it’s lack of any sort of importance.
Pulse Glazer:
I guess the climax’s utter lack of logic just killed me.
Grey Scherl:
It was bad times, but anyway, have a great one everybody!
