When it comes to Michael Bay I think William Shakespeare sums it up best. “It is a tale. Told by an idiot, full of sound and fury, Signifying nothing.” And I think the third Transformers film, Dark of the Moon accomplishes this more than any film of his that came before.
The Autobots and Decepticons are back again for more alien robot fighting. And so, sadly, is Sam Witwicky (Shia LaBeouf), though this time he’s got a new super hot girlfriend, Carly (Rosie Huntington-Whiteley). The first part of the movie feels like two completely different films. On one hand, you have this almost interesting story about the US space program being launched by President Kennedy because an alien ship crash landed on the moon and they want get to it before the Russians.
On the other, you have Sam Witwicky who is struggling with the fact that he’s saved the world twice yet is unemployed and looking for a job. This part of the film is completely out of place with everything else that’s going on. In fact, every time Witwicky is on screen it is really, really annoying. And what kind of action hero is he? He just freaks out and runs away at the first time of trouble every time.
In this film a new Autobot, Sentinel Prime (Leonard Nimoy), shows up, but it turns out he’s working for the Decepticons now and trying to use some matter transfer thingy to bring Cybertron to Earth and enslave the planet. And it’s up to Optimus and his gang to save the planet once again. And it up to Witwicky to run around like a screaming idiot and make the film last longer.
Seriously, how was this film two and a half hours long? An hour of this film could easily have been cut and it wouldn’t have hurt the film in the slightest and most of my evening would have been freed up to do something else. Something more entertaining, like doing the dishes.
The other problem with this film is it seems like no character follows any kind of coherent motivation. It makes sense at first why Dylan (Patrick Dempsey) is helping the Decepticons, however at the end when the tide turns why doesn’t he switch sides like the spineless worm that he is?
The first Transformers film wasn’t great, but it had its moments. This one had absolutely nothing to offer the series, there was nothing new or interesting done with giant robots fighting one another.
This film is presented in 1.85:1 anamorphic widescreen and 7.1 Dolby TrueHD. While the film has nothing to offer the intellectual mind, it is pretty, I’ll give it that much. If there’s one thing Bay does right is film hot chicks. He should probably just make music videos. There are no special features.
I really don’t understand how these films make so much money. Dark of the Moon is really a bad film. There was nothing about this film I enjoyed. It was a two and a half hours waste of time that I would not wish on anybody. In the amount of time you could spend watching this film you could watch two good films, think about that.
Paramount Pictures presents Transformers: Dark of the Moon. Directed by: Michael Bay. Written by: Ehren Kruger. Starring: Shia LaBeouf, John Turturro, Rosie Huntington-Whiteley, Patrick Dempsey, Frances McDormand and John Malkovich. Running time: 139 min. Rating: PG-13 for some thematic material. Released on DVD: September 30, 2011. Available at Amazon.com