Inside Pulse 11 Celebrating 11 years of pop culture

Interinactivity: 11.04.2011 – So Here’s The Thing…

Welcome to “Interinactivity”.

So, I did something a little bit different this week. I didn’t answer all the comments, partly because some of them I just plain agreed with, some of them I just didn’t really have anything to say to, and some of my responses just started coming out like answers I’ve already given.

I also did it in the interests of time – I have a little opinion piece that I wrote for after the Q & A.

 

Interinactivity

Cristo: On a side note I totally want some random pics of Emma Watson, where could I find links to such things? Just realised I missed a trick by not starting that “In other news” dammit.

Blair: What the firetruck is this about? And why would you want Emma Watson when you can have…

HOT!!!

 

KOREY’S CUESTION QORNER

Corey Yuen: According to all reports, Spike TV has won the rights for Bellator Fighting Championships and will begin airing Bellator in 2013. That should the rumors to rest that Spike TV will do a format change and TNA sould not woory about finding a new home.

Blair: Uh… yes.

Good?

I guess?

I don’t know.

I never thought TNA was in any real danger of getting kicked off Spike. Was anyone really worried about that? If so, I missed it.

Besides, Spike is the perfect network to show stuff like…

"Manswers" cross-promotion opportunity.

 

LBD Nytetrayn: What usually makes Smackdown better? Man, if you’d asked me a week ago, I could probably have said something more about it– as it is, I barely remember last week’s show, which in itself doesn’t speak well for the program.

Blair: Well, I remember a match between the Sin Cara clones that, thanks to the lighting, looked like it was taking place inside an alien spaceship. I also remember this…

NEW VADER!!!

 

LBD Nytetrayn: I just know that Ace began putting Raw in the hole, Smackdown feels like it has been a bit lacking over the past two or so weeks as well. I hope tonight’s show is good.

Blair: You know that Johnny Ace is, like, perfectly suited for the role he’s playing right now, right? Look at all the things that Punk said about him in that promo from a couple weeks ago that I saw on YouTube. Deer in the headlights, no charisma, weird voice, never did anything in the business, etc, etc etc – those are the exact things that most people complain about regarding Ace, and THAT is why the guy has MASSIVE heat. WWE isn’t as good as they think they are at working the internet, but this time, they nailed it. People who have no idea who Ace is hate him for those reasons listed above, and people from the ‘net who know who he is likely hated him already, now they have even more reason to do so. So everyone HATES Johnny, and he doesn’t need to be any better than he is right now. He’s not some generic, boring heel or heel manager that does the same thing over and over again.

Surrogate RAW GM.

 

LBD Nytetrayn: And yeah, the SD stars are appearing on Raw now, but SD still sort of has its own thing going now, since few Raw stars reciprocate (Del Rio notwithstanding, what with being south of the border and all).

Blair: So, they had stars from the crappier show come to the un-crappier show to… what? Wouldn’t it have made more sense to send RAW stars to SmackDown to give more people a reason to watch SmackDown? I mean, I guess if they thought there was something going on with SmackDown that people for some reason didn’t know about, and they wanted to showcase it, I could understand it. But what they had to showcase was…

D'yarr... this'll replace the shark in my nightmares.

 

LBD Nytetrayn: As for Cody’s paper bag gimmick? I love it: it’s like an update to Ted DiBiase’s old routine, where he’d stuff a wadded bill into his opponent’s mouth after beating them. Only now, it’s making fun of them for being “ugly” instead of “poor.”

Blair: Yeah, okay. But dude, it’s Cody Rhodes. Don’t you think anyone could do what he’s doing right now?

More on this at the end.

Oh, and Kon killed STD for his orange color. Here he is.

Kon: Cody needs kneepads.

 

Finn McInnes: Would the casual viewer growing bored with UFC return to WWE. Assuming that’s what they left for in the first place, I’d say no, not likely. Existing crossover fans might spend more time and money on wrestling after the UFC lost its luster.

Blair: I’d think it would be awfully hard for any serious number of people to watch fake wrestling after watching real UFC.

 

Finn McInnes: Something or someone is going to have to happen to make watching WWE “cool” again and I can guarantee it’s not going to be Next Big Thing Wrestler versus Evil Management Guy again. If it happens, it will be something that will hit out of the blue. What that is, I have no idea.

Blair: Absolutely, no argument there. People all over the place were thinking that CM Punk could be the next Stone Cold if he rebelled against Triple H or against Vince McMahon. People say stuff like that all the time. Stone Cold hit out of nowhere. The Rock hit out of nowhere. Goldberg hit out of nowhere. The next guy to hit out of nowhere isn’t going to do it by following a blueprint of something that’s already been done.

 

Finn McInnes: If you could accurately predict what’s going to grab mainstream attention and those coveted casual viewers (and their money) you certainly wouldn’t be wasting your time being a financial consultant bent on ruining the world economy or whatever it is that Korey Yuen dude accused you of.

Blair: I actually think I’d prefer to ruin the world economy if the only other option was a career in any aspect of wrestling. I’d avoid working in wrestling if I had to chew my own arm off to do it.

 

CB: Also, I think you should have an Ask Swayze section every week, so this question if for the FISTPUMP KING himself.

Blair: Swayze has officially eclipsed me. If anyone needs me for this next question, I’ll be crying in a bathroom stall.

 

CB: FD Swayze, If you were to watch an episode of IMPACT WRESTLING live with Joseph Hargrove, how would you fantasy book that experience?

Swayze: Hargrove is a professional fan. I’m not even a novice. It would be silly of me to try to out-fantasy book the king of fantasy booking and traveling the globe to watch wrestling. So I think I’d just sit back, shut up, and let the master show me how it’s done. Hargrove probably knows all the spots to hit near every arena in every city in every country in the entire free world that shows pro wrestling. I’d leave him in charge. FIST PUMP!

 

Owangotang: You did not include here it, for reasons I understand, but I did comment last week that I am a fan of harmless sideswiping of others. Any shots I take are almost always in jest…unless it’s Penny. Penny is a guest columnist here every once in a while who wrote a very impassioned article here shortly after the latest Wrestlemania. The premise for the article was her very real and deep concern whether or not the Undertaker could actually walk after the brutal WM match. I took issue with it because I felt it veered too close to the whole “IT’S STILL REAL TO ME!” crying fan sentiment. She attacked me personally in reply and that’s that. I would not have mentioned this in its’ entirety had you not asked because it was really, really silly.

Blair: Did she call you a hack?

 

Owangotang: Also, since you asked, here’s my take on the main SurSer rivalries/matches… Punk/Del Rio: I don’t have a clue. Punk winning the title would be great but the WWE title has gone from Punk to Cena&Punk to Punk to Del Rio to Cena to Del Rio just since July. I guess my desire for the WWE title to be slightly meaningful edges my desire to see Punk (Chicago represent!) win.

Blair: WWE is going to be a lot more apt to push Punk now that this merchandise thing has proved his worth. That doesn’t mean he’s going to the moon neccesarily (although hopefully), but I have a feeling that Punk is either going to win the World Title by the Royal Rumble, or he’s going to be winning the Royal Rumble.

 

Owangotang: HHH/Nash: HHH tried to siphon all of Punk’s heat (Punk STILL has not obtained any measure of payback against Oz) to Nash because Kliq members like making money together. Problem is Nash is awful. This won’t come anywhere near HBK’s comeback match at Summerslam vs HHH. It will be a shambling tribute to the 90′s. I hope Stephanie is revealed as the person undermining HHH or UT comes back to tombstone HHH through the entrance. That’s all I got.

Blair: I don’t want to see Stephanie .vs. Triple H again. At all. Ever. I want to see a heel Triple H put some dudes over. Triple H gets heat for never putting guys over, but he put Benoit, Cena, Batista, and Orton over multiple times, and helped launch their careers. But yeah, shambling won’t even begin to describe that match. It likely won’t be anywhere near as good as their Hell In A Cell encounter from a few years back, and that match isn’t exactly a high measuring stick.

More on Triple H putting Kevin Nash in a high-profile rivalry at the end of this article.

 

Owangotang: Rock/Cena: Simple…TURN CENA. Have him align with Miz and R-Truth. It makes no sense at this point but that does not matter. Vince loves echoing historic moments of the past, what better moment to echo than Hogan going Hollywood? Awesome Truth = Outsiders. It would be a moment talked about for a long, long time. Won’t happen though because of Rock/Cena at WM. Evil Cena would have to win the WWE title and hold it for a long time and I don’t think Vince wants the title on Cena at WM. The match has enough build. We’ll probably see the tired enemies-as-partners bit all over again but ultimately Awesome Truth lose, Cena/Rock win, and either Cena or Rock hits the other with his finisher after the match.

Blair: Wait, back up. Why does Evil Cena need the WWE Title to fight Rock? You said yourself that the title doesn’t need to be involved. They wouldn’t give Rock the World Title unless he was coming back full time, at least I wouldn’t think so.

 

Wally Kovacs: Ultimately, the ‘E can’t really repeat either of it’s past successes. Rock ‘n’ Wrestling took advantage of that fact that it was first time wrestling went national, and took what had been happening on a local stage to a whole other level of spectacle, not to mention it had a solid partner in MTV when a new cable channel could be considered a big deal instead of just a drop in the pond. The attitude era got to be the sort of teenage knee jerk reaction to it’s earlier self, the edgier, sexier, cruder version that was therefore more adult, and could appeal to those that either rejected the first boom entirely, or just grew out of it.

Blair: Sure they could. They just need the next big thing to come along. Obviously, that isn’t WWE Films or anything they’ve tried so far. And I’m not saying it’s DEFINITELY going to happen. But if they tried hard enough, or just listened to their audience, they could come across it.

 

All right. That’s it for the questions. Now to bring to your attention to…

Shaemus?!?! 

“Wednesday Morning Backlash: Sheamus Fits the Mold for WWE Gold” by Pulse Glazer

The premise of this article is that anyone can be a star in the WWE if they’re big and athletic. (This would be where I put a Mark Henry joke in, except that Glazer actually did note that Mark Henry isn’t even athletic. More on Fat Mark later.) Now, we all know that I’m not a big fan of Triple Glazed, but, the truth is, he’s absolutely right. At least, if you define “star” as just someone that WWE decides to push to the top for a short and unimpressive period of time, then yes, he is aboslutely right. And that’s not sarcasm – that may be what he meant, and he is right on that.

The thing is, that’s kind of the problem. Part of the reason why wrestling is in the toilet, and has been for years, is because they have completely forgotten how to make stars. CM Punk is a rare exception, and while we’ll never know for sure, I’d wager he’s more self-made than WWE-made. The last stars that WWE made that they still have are John Cena and Randy Orton. And Triple H, but he was made before 2000, so I don’t neccesarily count him. WWE has tried in vain, many times, to make stars, who have been complete flops. Literally everyone is cannon fodder for John Cena and Randy Orton.

WWE gave The Miz a main event run – and everyone on here was like “The Miz is awesome! He is carrying that ball and running with it!” even though his title run produced nothing of value for anyone. Now, he’s lost the belt, and no one has anything to say. Because no one cares. WWE put Mark Henry in a World Title position, and talked about how the booking was AMAZING, even though that has absolutely nothing to do with Mark Henry. Now, Mark Henry is losing left and right to everyone, getting knocked out in one punch to guys who have just wrestled World Champions minutes earlier in some cases, and no one has anything to say. Because no one cares. A couple years ago, people were demanding Cody Rhodes be fired. Now, you guys think Cody Rhodes is awesome because… of his booking. I spent weeks asking you guys in this article what made Cody Rhodes awesome. Literally the only thing anyone could come up with was his booking.

The reason for that is, literally anyone could have done what The Miz, Mark Henry or Cody Rhodes did. That doesn’t make them impressive. That makes them the opposite of impressive. Shaemus is the same thing.

WWE gave Shaemus a main event run – and everyone on here was like “Shaemus is like the new Batista! This guy is the next big thing!” and then he lost the belt, and spent a year in obscurity to the point where he couldn’t even get on the WrestleMania card, and no one had anything to say. Because no one cared. So basically, you guys all like whatever superstars that WWE tells you to like? So, flash forward to present day, and now, WWE would like you to think that Shaemus is a huge deal again. And you guys are following suit, and pretending that the “reactions” that he’s getting are real, and that they’re not piping chants for him on a show that is well-known for piping chants.

So, as long as Glazer’s point was that ANYONE can be pushed in the WWE despite the fact that the push won’t work or last, he’s got a great point. And, sarcasm aside, that may have actually been his point, and if so, I agree. But, and I’d hate for Glazey to call me a “hack” or something equally moronic, this article basically says Shaemus is awesome because of…

  1. His character’s history, of all things.
  2. That he works out with Triple H.

Again, that’s not sarcasm. He actually thinks it’s impressive that Sheamus got in good with Triple H because he works out with him. And sorry, but that’s just fucking absurd. He actually compares Shaemus’ rise to CM Punk, whereas Punk had to kick and claw and scratch for years and made it despite the system, actually entertains people, actually creates buzz, and is actually selling merch, and Shaemus… works out with Triple H. Is that really all it takes to impress you guys? Me personally, I’d rather a guy actually be good, actually be able to have a good match, and actually be able to entertain a crowd.

Shaemus isn’t “making it”. WWE would like you to think that he’s making it. But he isn’t. At all. WWE also wanted you to think that Vladamir Kozlov was making it, too. If I had logged onto the site in 2009, would I have seen this kind of love for Vladamir Kozlov? Because their careers have basically been identical up to a few months ago – they start, get pushed to the top quick, fizzle out to nothing, do funny stuff, and lose to everyone. Literally the only difference here is that Shaemus is getting another shot at the top, because he’s a buddy of Triple H’s. If he wasn’t, he’d be Vlad’s replacement, playing second fiddle to Santino. And what makes you think he’s going to do any better this time than he did before? Do you think that if he did so awesome before, that they would have taken him down to the lower-mid card? Not a chance. What has changed since then? Nothing.

As a sidenote, here’s the other thing that I don’t get – at all. In a question that I answered above, Owangotang criticized Triple H for putting Kevin Nash in a main-event role, because they’re friends. News flash: he has LITERALLY DONE THE EXACT SAME THING with Shaemus.

The way WWE makes guys now is to push them to the moon, and try to convince the world that they’re a star, rather than letting them be a star on their own. And hey, I’m not saying that never works – it can work. It’s just that WWE hasn’t been able to make that work in many years. Let me remind you that Ted DiBiase starred in “The Marine 2”. Maybe Shaemus could have been a star on his own. Probably not, because he looks like a clown that you might see on a unicycle, but that’s just my opinion. I look at Shaemus, and I laugh about the idea of him on a WrestleMania poster. And I’m not saying that’s not going to happen, because I know there’s a good chance it could. But that doesn’t make it any less laughable, just because it happens. Again, Ted DiBiase. Marine 2.

But, “if” Shaemus fizzles out, again, are you guys going to not care, like you did with The Miz, Mark Henry, and Vladamir Kozlov? Because a month ago, you were writing articles about how awesome Mark Henry is and how he deserves his push. But now, the only thing that’s ended faster than the UNSTOPPABLE MONSTER part of his push is how much you guys loved it. Do you still think it was an amazing idea to push him like that? Will you not worry “if” that happens to Shaemus because by then, they’ll be pushing Mason Ryan to another unsuccessful run? Is that how it works?

Who was the last guy that WWE pushed that you guys didn’t like? Was it Mantaur? I’m legitimately curious.

Now, let me close this section by just saying that I’m not criticizing anyone for enjoying the WWE. You guys enjoy who WWE tells you to like, and I don’t, which means you can enjoy the show, and I can’t. So, if anything, that means that I think you’re ahead of me, not the other way around. So tell me what it is. Do I need to just buy into the show more as a whole? Is that it? Do I not just sit back and turn off enough of my brain? Tell me what it is.

 

This brings me to my final thoughts of the column…

Stop Being Babies

Pulse Glazer: The responses of your friends generally ignore larger points and intentionally misconstrue any arguement that disagrees with their view. I’ve been doing this long ago to recognize the type, and since it’s on 90% of columns being posted, it’s getting old. I’m getting columnist and reader complaints. If you don’t want to believe me, that’s fine, but it’s some of the same people who’ve replied above.

So, to show that I’m a team player, I’m just going to go ahead and handle this.

 

To anyone who ACTUALLY enjoys articles any less because of comments from complete strangers:

Grow the fuck up. Calm the fuck down. Stop being fucking babies.

It’s going to be okay.

It’s pro wrestling.

 

To anyone who is ACTUALLY upset or bothered by complete strangers making fun of something that you happen to like in wrestling:

Grow the fuck up. Calm the fuck down. Stop being fucking babies.

It’s going to be okay.

It’s pro wrestling.

 

To anyone who ACTUALLY thinks that a complete stranger making fun of YOUR opinion on wrestling is “attacking” you:

Grow the fuck up. Calm the fuck down. Stop being fucking babies.

It’s going to be okay.

It’s pro wrestling.

 

To anyone who is ACTUALLY stressed out by any articles, or any comments, from anyone, at all, on this website:

Grow the fuck up. Calm the fuck down. Stop being fucking babies.

It’s going to be okay.

It’s pro wrestling.

 

For some reason, some people seem to think that I’m calling them idiots for enjoying stuff that I don’t enjoy. Nothing could be further from the truth.

I would be way more apt to call someone an idiot because they think I’m judging anyone by their opinion of professional wrestling.

I would have thought that was kind of a no-brainer, but here we are.

 

I also hope that in the future other readers that comment on these articles realize that a different viewpoint, a bit of arguing, and some light-harted ribs isn’t a vicious attack. If I comment on something, it’s actually because I liked the article and it challenged me to think. I enjoy most of the authors and frequent commenters on the site very much.

I’d also like to challenge wrestling fans to not have such diminished expectations of yourselves of the wrestling program you watch. Especially considering how much money these companies expect you to spend on them. You work hard for that money and you deserve alot better.

– Swayze, via CB’s interview with him, which can be found here.

 

Before I go, props to Glazer for saying that Dolph Ziggler is the most under-rated worker in WWE. There’s hope for him yet. Also, check out Joel Leonard’s article “No Chance – At This Rate, Does Super Cena Even Need The Rock’s Help?” It’s a good piece, and raises a pretty valid question. Also, click on “The Rager – Daniel Bryan: Rageful Bearding” by Mr. Sanders.

This has been “Interinactivity”. Thanks for reading, and have a good weekend!

I’ll be in my trailer.

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