The SmarK Rant for WWE Vintage Collection – 11.25.11

The SmarK Rant for WWE Vintage Collection – 11.25.11

Your host is Mean Gene.  The theme this week is current stars talking about their inspirations from the past.

Intercontinental title:  Rowdy Roddy Piper v. Repo Man

JIP from MSG, February 1992.  Piper is the pick of Matt Striker as far as inspiration goes.  Not exactly an original pick, but hard to argue.  Piper boxes Repo out of the ring, and then jumps him while he’s arguing with a lady in the front row about a stolen watch.  I bet she was planted there!  That TV show told me so.  Repo sends Piper into the post to gain the advantage, but Piper grabs the sleeper as they head into the ring.  Repo quickly makes the ropes and gets his giant rope (“How are you gonna hide THAT?” Gorilla exclaims) but Piper steals it, nails him with the hook, and pins him to retain at 2:45.  Thankfully Piper steals the woman’s watch back and returns it to her, in case you were worried.  DUD

World TV title:  Lord Steven Regal v. Psychosis

Regal is the pick of Daniel Bryan, and this is from the unholy nWo Nitro experiment in December 1996.  Psy dumps Regal with a leg lariat and follows with a tope, and back in with a sunset flip off the top for two.  Eric Bischoff and Ted Dibiase on commentary are beyond obnoxious, completely ignoring the match and literally only talking about Hulk Hogan.  They head to the top and Psychosis gets a rana for two.  Small package for two.  Top rope legdrop gets two as he’s just kicking Regal’s ass all over the ring here.  Regal suddenly fires back with a german suplex and we take a break.   Back with Regal stretching him on the mat, which sets up a superplex, but Psychosis blocks it and brings him down.  He follows with a flying splash for two.  Regal gets a small package for two, but Psy gets a backslide for two.  Superkick (with great facials from Regal) sets something else up, but Regal is PISSED and catches Psychosis with the Regal Stretch at 7:17.  The indignant look on his face before he finished Psychosis was brilliant.  ***

Ricky Steamboat v. Paul Roma

Steamboat is the pick of Kofi Kingston.  From MSG, August of 1991.  Not Summerslam, obviously.  Steamboat works on the arm and after 2 minutes of literally nothing we take a break.  Back with Steamboat pounding away in the corner, but sadly Roma gets an atomic drop and clothesline to take over.  He works the back and drops an elbow for two, as I’m thinking Steamboat just wants to collect his money and go home here.  But he sells for Roma’s lame offense anyway, flailing around after forearms and a dropkick that gets two.  Roma gets a backbreaker and continues working the back as even the announcers are bored and goofing on each other.  Suplex gets two and finally Dragon makes the comeback.  Steamboat’s righteously fired up comeback against the vile force of PAUL ROMEO ROMA is a bit much.  Steamboat with a flying chop, but Roma blocks a splash with his knees.  Steamboat gets a backdrop suplex and both guys are out.  Along with the crowd.  Roma pounds him in the corner, but misses a charge and Steamboat thankfully finishes with the bodypress at 10:28.  It was a fast count, but fuck Paul Roma and his shitty matches anyway.  *

Body bag match:  The Ultimate Warrior v. Undertaker

Warrior is the inspiration for the Miz, and Miz’s story about watching a crazy Warrior promo is pretty funny.  Another MSG “classic”, from July 1991.  Warrior attacks out of the dressing room and tosses Undertaker around the ring, but he gets choked out in the corner.  The ridiculous closeup shot of the “choke” shows UT lightly pressing against Warrior’s chest while they converse.  Warrior comes back with a slam, but runs into a boot in the corner.  And we take a break as the pendulum has apparently swung 360 degrees.  Yeah, but that would…never mind.  Back with Undertaker choking him out again as Gorilla notes that a hush has fallen over the Garden.  Lord Alfred corrects him:  It’s a quiet that could EXPLODE at any minute.  Good to know.  Warrior suddenly gets a piledriver out of nowhere, but Undertaker no-sells it.  Another piledriver, another zombie situp.  Third one and this time he stays down, but the big splash misses as Taker looked like he wanted to catch Warrior with a choke on the way down and they somehow fucked it up.  Warrior kind of shambles around the ring and won’t get into position properly for the tombstone, but UT finally corrals him and stuffs him into the body bag.  But wait!  Warrior fights out just before the zipper is zipped and makes the comeback.  Clotheslines and he steals the urn and knocks Taker out with it, then puts him in the body bag for the inspirational win at 9:34.  Why does poor Undertaker always lose his own specialty matches?  He occasionally wins a casket match, but he’s been stuffed into caskets, body bags, and buried alive over the years with little success in stipulation matches that he’s presumably invented to his own advantage.  Match was total garbage but the fans loved it because Undertaker was still new and scary enough to keep them interested.  ½*

This was like a dumping ground for Primetime Wrestling reject matches, with “inspirational” soundbites edited in between to give it a theme.  Hopefully next week’s group got inspired by better matches.

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