THE RAGER – What Does the Internet Have Left? (John Cena, It Begins)
by Chris Sanders on December 21, 2011

So what is there to talk about? CM Punk is WWE Champ, Daniel Bryan is Heavyweight Champ and Zack Ryder is holding a for realsies title. So what else is there for the internet to have to talk about?

Well there’s Cena and his status as a face and the possibility for him to switch to heel.

You want my philosophical view of it? I take your silence as a yes…mostly because this column is kind of a one way street right now (unless you comment below, duh).

JOHN CENA IS ALREADY A HEEL
There, I said it. He became a heel the moment WWE put him against The Rock because WWE has made Rock infallible in the eyes of the WWE Universe. For crust’s sake, who else gets a freaking birthday party on Raw or episodes catered solely to them? “No one” is the answer to that riddle but the Rock and his eternal glory is the exception. John Cena cannot compete with that kind of following. This is a not a passing-of-the-torch situation like Rock vs. Hogan because both were viewed as icons and Cena is just viewed as a kiddie play-thing. I believe WWE anticipated the fans to react to Rock vs. Cena as being split down the middle but that’s not what we gave them. We all automatically took Rock’s side the moment it was teased and I think its taken WWE this long to finally come to grips with it.

Evidence to that claim? The Cena Sucks shirts and with Cena acting heelish at the slammy’s by teasing a Rock appearance.

So where do we go from here? Well Kane is back and he’s targeting John Cena. Now, I know we’ve seen this movie a million times where John struggles but eventually overcomes the big bad monster character and I pray to the almighty wrestling deity (I’m assuming its Giant Gonzalez, right?) that’s not the case. Instead, what I’m hoping for is Cena coming to some sort of realization that he has to delve into his dark side (affectionately known as The Gooch) and become a darker beast than the one that he faces. I’m not saying that we should get an emo Cena, dear Giant Gonzalez, that would be worse than rapping Cena. I’m picture the type of heel we all know Cena could be, someone that finally snaps and gives the audience the same kinda crap we’ve been flinging at him or, to put it in a slapping Roddy Piper form, he finally “feels the energy” (I really never get tired of that).

I guess the internet can also talk about this It Begins shenanigans.

ITS SKIP SHEFFIELD
Probably not but it kinda makes sense, right? Chris Jericho and Undertaker both seem like easy answers but its not Jericho and I kinda feel like this would be lame if it were the Undertaker. Besides, isn’t it fun to speculate about non-obvious choices? Joel Leonard found a theory that says its Shane McMahon and its pretty interesting, ask him about it sometime. There’s a lot of fun theories online and I encourage everyone to check of them out and, I dunno, lets start a pool on our favorite theories or something. In a related thought, there should be a fantasy wrestling league…

This is the last Rager before Christmas and I wanted to take this time to celebrate everyone a Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukkah, Happy Kwanzaa and, for you Jehovah’s Witnesses, a Happy Nothing Special Day. I hope you ring in your Christmas Day as I do, watching Die Hard.

In all seriousness, have a great holiday season and enjoy those closest to you, all other advice is just extra BS.

That’ll do it for this week, my dearest members of Rage Nation. My challenge this week is to either find some interesting theories of who “It Begins” is or come up with some of your own. Post them below in the comments or tweet them to me @cwsanders39

Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do twice,
Chris

The Answers: David Otunga’s coffee mug



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