Interinactivity: 01.20.2012 – What It Is

Columns, Top Story

It has come to my attention reading the comments of Swayze’s latest offering, that some of the readers of our wonderful website still feel compelled to read articles by writers that they are already aware they won’t enjoy. Apparently they feel this takes away from their enjoyment of the site somehow. I can only assume that this is because they are children or have OCD. I dont know, I’m not a doctor.

But, just so you know BEFORE you read this – like 95% of what I write, this is not serious. I recommend not reading this if that will somehow sour your opinion on a website that covers a fake sport. However, did you know that we ALSO employ writers who DO write serious articles? It’s true. They’re good articles, too, I read them all the time, and we feel that having a mix is not a bad thing, so if you want to go read something serious, I recommend you go check one of those out.

Go on, get out of here! Go have fun! You little scamps.

Sigh. They grow up too fast. Seems like just yesterday they were running around in their Ken Kennedy t-shirts.

 

Big Lou: “TNA is not really all that important. So TNA is not invited to my anniversary.” Yet you dedicate an ENTIRE article to TNA and their wrestlers? No wonder Insidepulse can get out of it’s own way when they have awful writers on the site.

Blair: You missed the point of the article. You need to upgrade your IQ a few points. Try listening to classical music. Until then, I’ll explain it:

  • The entire crux of the article illustrates how little I care about TNA.
  • The complete lack of TNA articles on this site illustrates how little demand there is for articles about TNA.
  • The fact that we can’t hang on to a TNA recapper to save our lives illustrates how little people even care to READ about what happens in TNA. That’s right assholes, ANOTHER TNA recapper quit on us. I believe this is the third person to abandon it since I had my rage stroke.
  • The awful writers you were talking about don’t work here anymore. They work for the basketball division now.

Try to keep up.

 

Zork: I’ve heard some rumblings of RVD coming back to WWE lately. If there’s any truth to the rumblings then I doubt it will go past talks cause Rob wants a part time schedule. I say give him his part time schedule, and use him to get younger guys over in good feuds.

Blair: I don’t know, I guess I’d watch an RVD WWE comeback. Would it really be all that good if he was half what he once was and you KNEW he was going to lose to Cody Rhodes? I guess that’s why I had a hard time getting geared up to watch Booker T take on Cody, and I quite enjoy Booker T. I think if Van Dam had some time to prepare, he might have one good run left in him. He’s had a couple years off, and it’s not like TNA is bringing out the best in him.

 

Autorschaft: I think you are clearly not in the minority regarding Bully Ray, seeing as everyone has him in their top “great surprises” lists for 2011.

Blair: A lot of those lists are complete bullshit. If you need proof, just take a look at the “most improved” category. I’m not saying you’re wrong, because you’re not. But among the fans that I tend to most identify, they think this Bully Ray thing sucks. See, people? All fans are different. We’re like snowflakes. Snowflakes who happen to enjoy a form of entertainment that is almost universally regarded as inferior to NASCAR.

 

Autorschaft: I think, however, you are being unfair to some people on this list like Sorensen and Magnus. Sorensen is still a little bland but Magnus already has serious charisma. Both guys should definitely be kept around and built up for the future.

Blair: Hey, I can’t be unfair to Sorensen if I don’t even know who the fuck he is. I wasn’t rendering an opinion on him, because I’ve never seen him. I didn’t even KNOW if he was the guy with the football – I guessed. He might be really good. I don’t know, but that football thing is really stupid. That’s all I said. As for Magnus, what do you mean that he “already” has serious charisma? Magnus has been in TNA for YEARS off and on. Personally speaking, I never found him all that entertaining to watch – I always considered Williams to be the far better wrestler and performer of the two, although I did think Magnus was okay, just nothing special. He was better than Rob Terry, but a monkey with a stick shoved up it’s ass coming out it’s throat in it’s final death twitches could hit more moves than Rob Terry.


Autorschaft: By the way, it’s not often commented on, but is anyone else amazed how far Angelina Love has fallen? About two years ago she was the centerpiece of the Knockouts Division and there were comments along the lines of “push her like she’s been in WWE, then she’ll be the next big Sable-type success with Playboy and all”. That weird Winter storyline has seriously derailed her and she’s not even on the radar at this point.

Blair: No offense, but I can’t imagine anyone being amazed by this fact. Gail Kim, Mickie James, Tara, Velvet Sky, and that girl with the Goo Goo Dolls song have all been the “centrepiece” of this “division” at one time or another over the years. It doesn’t mean anything. Most of these girls still need to have second jobs, for crying out loud. Being the centrepiece of the Knockout division is like being the highest rated show on PBS.

 

Dan Chupong: Wow, I am sure that Blair A. Douglas not being a fan of TNA wrestling is about as worrisome to Dixie Carter as a cloudy day.

Blair: Actually, given just how much time and effort that Dixie spends trying desperately to get more people to watch TNA, I think she’d be extremely pleased if she had more viewers. Even if they just watched the show so they could bitch about it, numbers are numbers, and more numbers is what Dixie Carter is looking for. TNA wouldn’t use near as many desperation tactics if this wasn’t the case.

 

Dan Chupong: As long as they get 1.4 million people watching their show, they will survive. Sorry, Blair, hate to break the news to you, bub!

Blair: Hey, you sound just like this guy who used to comment on my TNA reca… never mind. Sorry. Anyway, I don’t need TNA to not survive. I just don’t need to watch them, period, just like the other 311 million people in the US who don’t watch TNA. If you’re part of the 0.004% of the country (actual figure) that watches it, then good for you. But let’s not pretend that TNA hasn’t been desperately trying to attract more viewers for years.

You know what else gets 1.4 million viewers per week? Repeats of Suddenly Susan.

You want to know why people watch TNA? Check out the next comment.

 

Owangotang: The most TNA viewing I ever do is scouring Youtube for Velvet Sky ass videos.

Blair: See? Tremendous comment. For your honesty I give you…

 

Owangotang: I’ve tried to sit through the show before but it always just seems like the whole thing could be taking place in an elaborate tent at the local county fair.

Blair: Don’t be absurd. Local county fairs pay their female performers a respectable salary.

 

Owangotang: I’d rather watch Chikara, honestly, if it was on cable. I can’t find it though so screw it, it ain’t worth hunting down.

Blair: Yeah, that’s pretty much the story of Chikara’s life, honestly. Good to watch if it’s in front of you, but not good enough if you have to spend time hunting it down.

 

Owangotang: Also, I remain convinced that Angelina Love is the female Gremlin from Gremlins 2.

Blair:

 

CB: I am very happy that Roode is currently installed as Champ, especially since it’s better than some of the other ex-WWE guys they ran with last year. You know who he could have a good feud with in 2012? Alex Shelley. Now that he’s back, don’t let Shelley waste away against guys like Zema Ion. Instead, let Shelley and Roode go at it, and I think they would do a tremendous job together.

Blair: I didn’t know that Alex Shelley was back until I read this. Shelley is tremendous and I’ve always thought he had breakout potential, like CM Punk. That’s just me though. As for Roode, yeah, he’s a step up from Ken Anderson, Matt Morgan, Kurt Angle and Jeff Hardy. But, to me, he’s boring – as a babyface or a heel.

 

CB: 2012 will be Joe’s year, I swear! :)

Blair: Any week now.

 

Margatefam: Hey Eric Young, what’s a retard gimmick?

Blair: A retard gimmick is when you pretend that someone who doesn’t have a mental disability has a mental disability. Some time ago, Eric Young was dropped on his head, and his gimmick was that he was acting like a moron because of it. A good example is how you called me Eric Young for some reason. That’s something that I would expect someone with a mental disability or someone who was pretending to have a mental disability to do. Asking me WHAT a retard gimmick is AFTER doing that also fits very well. And yes, he is still working that gimmick, because he’s been acting this way ever since. Having his disability taken advantage of by Orlando Jordan, dancing on stage to Mickie James’ terrible country music performance, trying to fight “celebrities” – that’s all part of it. Just because the announcers used to call attention to it and now they don’t doesn’t mean anything.

 

Margatefam: Time to lose the word retard. Using it just continues the marginalization of people with disabilities and that’s just all wrong.

Blair: Okay – I’m going to give you the benefit of the doubt here, and not assume that you’re just yet another TNA apologist who looks for any reason they can find to complain about an article that doesn’t blindly support TNA. I’ll do you another favor and not assume that you’re just one of those people who surfs myself and Swayze’s articles literally ONLY to find something to complain about. Because those people do exist. Sometimes I’ll even be sent a message telling me who it actually is. Whether that’s the case or not, those people are morons. So, if you were LEGITIMATELY offended by my use of the word retard, and NEITHER of the above is true… then I truly apologize to you or anyone else who was offended by the way I said it.

There.

Now that that’s over with, I have questions.

How is it that you were offended by my use of the word “retard” and NOT my MULTIPLE uses of the word “rape”? Because neither the rape nor the retard in TNA are real. They’re storylines. Stupid, dumb, and depending on how you look at it – possibly offensive – storylines.

More importantly, how is it that you’re offended by my calling the retard storyline what it is – a retard storyline – and not offended by the ACTUAL retard storyline that TNA is doing? Or the rape storylines? Or the sexual harassment storylines? Or the multiple racism storylines? Or the attempted murder storylines? Or by the fact that they named a wrestler “Suicide”? Me personally, I’m not offended by any of those things – I just think that they’re really pathetic, laughably dumb, embarrassing to watch, and incredibly poorly conceived.

But you can’t be mad that I’m calling it what it is and NOT be mad at TNA for running the gimmick in the first place. That’s like taking someone to a bar and getting upset when they have a beer.

I guess I’m just confused at what the line is. Take a look at that Eugene storyline that WWE did some years back. That was pretty painful to watch as well, but from what I understand of it, Eugene’s story was about a guy who had a disability struggling (and succeeding in some cases?) to make it in the WWE. Eric Young’s story is about him getting dropped on his head and now we get to watch and laugh at him while he does wacky stuff. One of those storylines is WAY more offensive than the other. Both pretty painful to watch, but there’s a big difference between the two.

That’s why I call Eric Young’s gimmick what it is. Because that is what TNA is putting in front of me.

 

YOUR HOMEWORK

I’m getting off this TNA topic. TNA sucks. I’m sick of talking about it already, and I’m not even watching the show. How about this week, you leave me some comments on any the following issues instead:

  • Who is going to win the Royal Rumble?
  • Who is going to be in the World Title matches for WrestleMania?
  • What do you see the following people doing at WrestleMania: The Miz, Mark Henry, Shaemus, and Cody Rhodes.
  • What do you think about the Daniel Bryan half-turn?
  • How long until Jeff Hardy disgraces himself and TNA yet again, and how long will it take after that until he’s back in main events?
  • What could Ring Of Honor possibly do to start bringing more viewers to it’s TV show?
  • Why is Wade Barrett such a terrible wrestler and boring person to watch?
Or, if you MUST leave me a comment about this article or something else in TNA, that’s fine too.

Have a good weekend! I’ll be in my trailer.

BD writes about professional wrestling on Inside Pulse until he has to stop because he's about to have a stroke. Any “errors” that are made on his part are, of course, intentional and represent an artistic choice. He acts as a kind of fly paper for the emotionally disturbed.