WWE Monday Night Raw 03.05.2012 Live Results: The Rock, HBK, John Cena, CM Punk, Wrestlemania 28

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WWE has entered the final month countdown to Wrestlemania 28! Raw begins at 9PM EST, but in the meantime check out – Kyle’s Files: Is Vince McMahon a Genius or Jerk? Plus the Debut of the Raging Rant (Vince McMahon, H

The show starts with “Theme of Sexy Boy” and HBK Shawn Micahels comes out with a cowboy hat. HBK chant. He wants to know what convinced Hunter to take the match with Undertaker. HHH comes out to HIS music, in a suit. They discuss who is better than who and who can end the streak. So far this is making a great case for another HHH vs HBK match (which they should do next year!). The long and short of it is that HBK will be the special guest referee at WM28. HBK’s music plays and he leaves. HHH is a grumpy suitman in the ring.

Tonight: Followup to Cena/Rock

Commercial Break

US Title Match
Santino Marella vs. Jack Swagger (c) w/Vickie Guerrero & Dolph Ziggler

Story here is that Teddy Long gave his assistant a title shot. Right as the match starts, John Laurinaitis and David Otunga come down to ringside, and quickly get involved. This leads to a gutwrench by Swagger but Santino kicks out. Suddenly Teddy Long’s music plays and he comes out with Oxana, and he argues with Laurinaitis as we take a

Commercial Break

Teddy and Johnny argue at ringside, as do Oxana and Vickie. Match continues with Santino going for the cobra, but Swagger ducks and locks in the Ankle Lock. Referee Scott Armstrong is distracted by the SHENANIGANS at ringside, and doesn’t see Santino tap. As the ref turns around, Santino recovers, rolls thru the hold and sends Swagger face-first into the turnbuckle, then rolls him up for the pin.
Winner and NEW US CHAMP: Santino Marella

After the match, John Laurinaitis gets on the mic and says this is his show, etc. Teddy responds by saying not tonight playa and has security take him and Otunga away. Somewhere in this Kofi Kingston appeared and was celebrating with Santino.

Commercial Break

The Rock appears on the TitanTron from earlier today. He gets mostly cheers but some boos from this Boston crowd. He gives us a history lesson – the British were smothering so it caused a revolution. So tonight because John Cena has been shoved down our throats, he’s starting the Rock Revolution. He has a table of Cena merchandise that much like the Boston Tea Party, The Rock would toss into Boston Harbor. The Rock goes through Cena’s “hot garbage” piece by piece showcasing it and then insulting it, including shirts, wrist bands, shorts and garden gnomes. John Cena can fight crime like a transvestite Wonder Woman with those wrist bands. “Roody Toody Fresh and Fruity candy ass!” The Rock is doing a tour of Boston tonight, ending in the ring.

Eve Torres vs. Alicia Fox
Kelly Kelly joins commentary. Match is less than one minute and ends fairly abruptly when Eve hits a Mortal Kombat-like leg sweep for the clean pin.
Winner: Eve

After the match, Zack Ryder’s music plays and he comes out on the stage with a walkin’ stick, and says “broskis before ho-skis” and the crowd enjoys it.

Commercial Break

John Cena cuts a promo from the stands in an empty Boston arena. It’s a serious promo where he puts over the Rock HUGE as the most successful WWE superstar ever. He puts over how important this match is and how important winning the match is to him. Because history does not remember second place and he will not be another name on the Rock’s list of triumphs. Really great promo, maybe my favorite Cena promo ever

Commercial Break

CM Punk & Sheamus vs. Daniel Bryan w/AJ & Chris Jericho
Punk and Jericho to start, and tag to Bryan for a bit of Punk/Bryan. Punk tags out to Sheamus and we get a preview of Sheamus/Bryan as we head into a

Commercial Break

Jericho controls Punk in the ring when the commercial returns. Cole is reading tweets with #bestintheworld talking about both Jericho and Punk. He tags Sheamus but Jericho maintains control as commentary shifts away from reading live tweets. Towards the end, Punk goes up to for a top rope elbow, which knocks him and Bryan out. Sheamus and Jericho enter and the match breaks down with all four in the ring. Sheamus and Bryan clear to the floor. Jericho goes for the Walls of Jericho, but Punk small packages him. Jericho rolls over and pins Punk with the small package.
Winners: Jericho & Bryan

After the match Jericho runs to the time keeper table and grabs the Raw Title and hugs it.

The Rock is back on video in Boston. The Redcoast would kill Cena just for his outfit. The Rock apparently wants to travel back in time and beat up John Cena in 1776. The Rock says he is 25% Black 25% Samoan and 50% Clydesdale. Benjamin Franklin would toss the kite and say The Rock invented electricity. Boston Cream Pie? Rock sings his own version of Yankee Doodle Dandle ending in “jabroonie” which gets a nice pop. Quite a different tone in the Rock’s promos and Cena’s so far tonight.

Commercial Break

The Big Show vs. The Miz
Cody Rhodes comes after both make their entrances, and stands on the entrance. He has another embarassing Wrestlemania moment starring the Big Show. At Wrestlemania 18, The Big Show is LIVE from WWE New York restaurant holding a small child! As the moment plays on the Titantron, The Miz attacks from behind. That lasts a few seconds until Miz gets speared and punched and pinned in about 1 minute.
Winner: Big Show

Commercial Break

The Rock is back for a third history lesson. The Rock Revolution is here to overthrow John Cena. The Rock will beat you John Cena – you will fall to the Rock. He’s on his way to the TD Garden to go face-to-face with John Cena in the ring, and tell the world EXACTLY what he sees. If you smell, what The Rock is cookin’.

Commercial Break

R Truth vs. Kane
During his entrance, Truth does a wacky in-set promo involving Little Jimmy. Match is short, Truth gets almost no offense and Kane hits the chokeslam for the clean pin. Rough night to have been a heel who main evented Survivor Series.
Winner: Kane

After the match, Randy Orton comes down to his music and hits Kane with the RKO.

Commercial Break

Promo for Smackdown: The GM will be John Laurinaitis! Wow what excitement! This is the way to load the show against the Ultimate Fighter debut on FX.

John Cena’s music plays and he comes out for the main event interview. He said the Rock was shaken last week – Cena makes fun of his own look including silver/orange shoes with black socks. And he’s wearing kneepads just to talk – there’s “10,000 jokes right there”. But he said he made the Rock shake. Rocky chant. While The Rock said he is coming down for a face to face, he is worried because all his best stuff has been pre-recorded. But he wants to know which Rock is going to show up at Wrestlemania 28. Cena again calls The Rock the greatest superstar in WWE history then points to the entrance. The Rock’s music plays and The Great One makes his way to the ring with haste. Finally, The Rock has come BACK to Boston. The Rock didn’t have his confidence shaken. Crowd chants Boots 2 Asses and he pauses. He goes to start again but they chant “Tooth Fairy” which Cena calls out. Rock says at his core, he’s going to rip Cena’s throat out. Cena taunts him during the promo and Rock gets very close to his face in an awkward way that adds tension. Rock says Cena will always be Rock’s Bitch and leaves to his music. Cena stays in the ring, and writes Rock’s height and weight on his arm. Cena says the Rock will have to rip his neck out to beat him because while the Rock has options, Cena’s back is against the wall and he needs to win. Really awesome end segment with edge and heat.

Next week: Raw has a “Rock Concert” vs “Cena Rap” Battle.

Jonathan Widro is the owner and founder of Inside Pulse. Over a decade ago he burst onto the scene with a pro-WCW reporting style that earned him the nickname WCWidro. Check him out on Twitter for mostly inane non sequiturs