Kue’s Korner: Kue vs. Pulse Vol. 1 (WWE, John Cena, The Rock)

Columns, Top Story

It’s Kue. It’s my Korner. One more K, and I might just be in some trouble. Besides, brown people don’t really carry the pointy white hat look very well.

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I’m feeling especially antagonistic this week. Particularly due to the resonating extremities many of our columnists have displayed over last week’s Cena/Rock confrontation.

So, this week, we’re going to have a bit of an extended version of

‘Round the Bend

Suspension of Disbelief:

For the record, I have no love lost for Cena. And I’m also an avid fan of the Rock. And I’d also like to congratulate Rey Mundo for the acknowledgment this post received by the Great One himself. That being said, I’d like to think we, as writers, can reach some sort of objectivity that deters us away from the label of “fanboy”.

Let’s be honest. Cena came out of last week the victor. No amount of one-sided adulation will change that. You can get as emotional as you’d like when the Rock says he’s here for “the people”. You can hate Cena all you want to when he’s “repping” that ridiculous motto of hustling and all that crap. You can hashtag the hell out of “bringing it” all you want. The Rock stumbled, Cena ran with it. Sorry, Rey. I respect your opinion. But let’s rework that expression.

My Pinterest is Piledrivers:

Mr. Carter, I like your column so far. Except for this week. Look, I’m all for presenting facts to validate credibility. Yeah, Cena works hard. He barely gets any sleep due to the amount of work he puts into the company. No one doubts that. But to say he’s “gone to bat” for people like Daniel Bryan, Evan Bourne, and the rest of these potential mid carders is a fucking lie. Ask Punk how Cena “went to bat” for him back when he was in ECW. Better yet, let’s ask Ryder how that bat is working nowadays.

Point being, is Cena a nice guy? Sure. But don’t dare mistake that for pushing anyone. Every Cena match, for years, has been him taking a huge fucking beating, hitting his finishers for the win, and then (and here’s the part that has made Cena detrimental to building up the roster) walks away from the match like that previous beating did absolutely nothing. Wanna know how to bury someone in one match? Ask Cena. This is something, at the very least, the Rock carries favor over Cena in. Rocky has lost to people clean to put them over. And even when he won, he made the post-match action seem like he’d just walked through a war. Fundamental wrestling psychology.

There’s a reason why “bashing Cena” is unoriginal.

Again, Mr. Carter, facts are fantastic. Though, let’s not indulge in a Cena version of “Leave Britney Alone”. That’s not unoriginal. That’s simply delusional.

The Rager:

Sanders? Really? Did we just want to whine this week? What I love about your ragings is the cynicism mixed with humor. A tried and true formula that you, my friend, have a very good handle on. Let’s go back to that, shall we?

And “screw the Rock”? Really? Sure, I guess that “Unbiased Train” is getting a little too crowded.

Interinactivity, The Stomping Ground, and No Chance:

As usual, Blair Douglas and Mike Gojira came out of this week as holders of two of the more grounded opinions. But Joel Leonard’s No Chance is the most accurate description of last week’s Raw promo between Cena and the Rock. Not only did he touch on the lacklustre mic givings from both these men, but also presented the fact that the promo was a perfect example of how this feud has cooled down greatly since last year. And he does it without resorting to the deep end of pathos. I recommend giving it a read.

My kudos to you, gents.

Look, I’m not trying to bash anyone personally. Just saying, maybe the emotions could use some more regulating (SOCIALISM!).

Looking forward to this week’s reads.

Adieu.

I like my wrestling almost as much as I do my coffee. And I do love my coffee, as you can tell how much it's affected my skin tone.