Sweet Jesus, people have been getting kind of annoyed around here lately. I blame Mark Allen; how dare he come back for one week and throw everything into chaos!
Anywho, as Wrestlemania approaches I feel like WWE Creative two weeks before the Grandest Stage of Them All: completely out of ideas and running on fumes. At this point, there’s really nothing more I could say about the Showcase of the Immortals that hasn’t already been said before. I’m saving my match predictions for the Roundtable and I don’t really have the energy to go down some untraveled avenue of the event in the hope of finding something of value.
Nope, this week I’m gonna coast through the column. Why the hell not? I’ve earned a little reprieve, right? At this point people are coming to the site for last-minute news items in anticipation for Sunday night, so I’ve got nothing to lose. Since this column has the words “counting down” in the title, here are the ten thoughts that have been on my mind just three days before Wrestlemania XXVIII:
10. When Christian was removed from Team Johnny, I knew that it wasn’t something the WWE had planned from the outset. Otherwise, he wouldn’t have been placed on the team in the first place. Apparently his ankle isn’t fully healed, but that’s no excuse to just throw Drew McIntyre on the team. I’m a fan of Drew’s work, but the way he’s been treated with his losing streak doesn’t scream “Team Johnny material” to me. Hell, The Miz had to earn his way onto the team and he had a better run in the past year than McIntyre did.
9. It’s a shame we couldn’t get an appearance by Alberto del Rio. He would have fit in quite well with Ace’s team of ne’er-do-wells. I suppose he’s just waiting in the wings for his next angle, rather than a waste of an appearance on ‘Mania. Let’s just hope it’s not a rehash of his feud with Rey Mysterio; that’s been done to death already.
8. So Maria Mygodshesgorgeous busted up her ribs prepping for Dancing With The Stars. I guess we won’t get a Snookie moment this year from her. Honestly, I’d rather see the Tag Team Champions get on the card so I can get my T ‘n A from Rosa Mendes, but at this point I’ll take what I can get.
7. One thing I didn’t realize until recently is that the Big Show is one title away from holding every conceivable championship he’s ever been eligible for: the Intercontinental Championship. While I think it would be an awesome accolade for him, I think taking the belt off of Rhodes just to satisfy that requirement and to give Show a “feel good” ‘Mania moment would be detrimental to Cody’s push. Sure, he could win the gold back and continue to garner heat, but I feel that losing the title at this time wouldn’t be a good call.
6. There’s a rumor going around that Triple H is supposed to call out Shawn Michaels the night after Wrestlemania. Could it be that HBK might cost his good buddy the match as special referee?
5. Like everyone else in the world, I’m expecting a strong showing from Punk and Jericho. With the news that Jericho has signed a contract extension, this could be a memorable feud should it continue past Wrestlemania.
4. I still say Randy Orton belonged on Team Teddy as the sixth man. Booker T was a bit of a surprise, but Orton vs Kane is probably the match I am LEAST looking forward to, and that includes the Divas tag.
3. If you had told me three months ago that Daniel Bryan would be defending a major title at Wrestlemania, I would have called it wishful thinking. Now look at the little guy! The little nuances with AJ have been awesome, as well as his interaction with The Miz, who has pulled a 180 in his feelings for DB. When I saw them head to the gorilla position last week on Smackdown, I thought I was looking at Alex Riley following The Miz from last year. My, how the tables have turned!
2. I watched the “Once In A Lifetime” special last Monday, and I have to say I was impressed. The ‘E always knows how to pull at your heart strings in their video packages, and they did a fantastic job hyping Sunday’s main event. Speaking of which, I’m glad that The Rock finally has a reason other than “I don’t like you” in regards to John Cena. Using Cena’s name in the same sentence as Austin and Hogan was a hell of a way to put Cena over as the top dog.
1. This weekend is going to be an incredibly busy one for yours truly. I have to clean my place up in preparation for Sunday night’s extravaganza (with guests including such luminaries as Pulse Glazer) and I will once again be joined for Smackdown commentary by the one and only Kelly Floyd. Evidently too much Mike Gojira is not a good thing; hence the reason she took a month off.
Here’s a little note from my ball-and-chain herself:
Hello ladies and gentlemen of the Pulse Realm! Been a minute or two since we last talked, eh? Not sure if anyone noticed, or if anyone cared, but for those who did…I’m back! It’s been a tumultuous couple of weeks for my body and mind, and while I don’t wish to disclose what kept me absent, I do want to share that I’ve missed the readers, writers, and everyone in between. All I know is that I’m repaired, recharged, and a little drunk. I really hope you’re all ready for my nonsense! Make sure you catch me this weekend as the glorious Goji and I tackle Smackdown’s shenanigans, and I’ll give my thoughts on the show as well. And hey, it’s Wrestlemania week! Let’s get excited, folks.
She’s going to regret coming back.
I suppose that’s all for this week. Join Kelly and I this weekend as we review the least-watched episode of Smackdown of the year, what with the shoddy two-minute matches and the live Axxess camera shots and whatnot. I’ll also be there for the Rasslin’ Roundtable and give you my thoughts on the card as it stands.
So long, and thanks for all the fish.
