Quick! Run away, as fast as you can!
So I didn’t watch Glee last night because I didn’t want to ruin my birthday. But that’s all over, and since I was just sitting in my office eating pasta salad I decided to watch it online over lunch.
Now, as some of you know I haven’t liked Glee for a while now. I haven’t ditched it because that’s tough to do mid-season, but odds are I won’t be watching/blogging next season. Because, oh man, am I glad I didn’t waste an hour of my 26th birthday on this nonsense.
Push! Push! Push! (Me off a cliff before I have to watch another episode of Glee)
She could’ve had it aaaaaaalll, rollin’ in deniiiiiiiaaaallll
So, remember how we left off with Quinn getting into a big accident because she was texting and driving? Yes, so now she’s (hopefully temporarily) wheelchair bound. That meant she and Artie had to sing “I’m Still Standing” together and she could smile a lot and say that her life was a gift from God, and then crack jokes about how texting while driving was the worst thing she did since she slept with Puck.
Car crash > Puck? Really?
So now Quinn is a
walking rolling billboard for Don’t Text And Drive. No wait – actually, she has become the poster child for Don’t Text And Walk. It’s a gateway danger! Really? Come on. Don’t text and walk across a street or through a parking lot, sure. But she wagged her finger at Finn for texting while walking down the hall at school! The worst that could happen is that he could step on Teen Jesus’s gross bare feet!
It was Senior Ditch Day at McKinley High (that was every day for me in my last year of high school – ha ha! No seriously, I’d already gotten into college…) so the New Directions gang was heading to Six Flags. But instead of joining them, Artie took Quinn to a special skate park for disabled kids. Just how big is Lima, Ohio, anyway? I thought it was supposed to be tiny tiny, but that was a fancy skate park.
The whole wheelchair thing provided an opportunity for Quinn and Artie to bond, but also fight. Quinn thinks she will walk by graduation, because the doctor said with intense physio she can make a full recovery. Artie thinks she should reconcile herself with the idea of a life stuck in a wheelchair. Gee, do you think reality might lie somewhere in the middle?
It’s Bryce Larkin!
Is he here to give Blaine The Intersect?
Meanwhile, Matt Bomer stopped by to guest star as Blaine’s “famous” older brother, Cooper. His name was Cooper Anderson! That was, by far, the best part of the episode. Well, that and Matt Bomer’s cheekbones. He is one handsome man.
Cooper is known for being the singing spokesman of a credit check website, and he likes to spew out terrible acting advice and pretend he’s a better singer than Blaine. Come on, Cooper – you are wildly handsome, you can at least give your baby bro credit in the talent department.
Much of the episode was about this sibling rivalry. First they dueted on a mash-up of two Duran Duran songs. Blaine took off his cardigan to sing (so, it was very serious) and revealed a sweater vest. I don’t even know what to make of that.
After all you put me through, you’d think I’d despise you…and you’re right!
Later, Blaine sang “Stronger” by Christina Aguilera into his brother’s face and later in front of a wall of screens featuring, yes, his brother’s face. I think it was awful, but I can’t say for sure because I was too busy drooling over Matt Bomer’s perfect, chiseled face.
Finally, the two bros made up and sang “Somebody That I Used To Know”, which is a song I really like and the performance was pretty good.
Rachel and Finn didn’t get hitched because of Quinn’s accident, but they still plan to walk down the aisle…if they don’t break up first. Rachel is dead seat on heading to New York, but Finn is contemplating L.A. thanks to a pool business offer from Puck and some tips on “real” acting from Cooper. They had a fight because Rachel doesn’t think about Finn’s future and only her own. Could these two just break up already?
Emma and Will accompanied Sue to her appointment to find out the gender of her baby – a daughter – and she also found out that there were irregularities in her amnios. So basically, Sue might be having a baby with Downs Syndrome. Of course. Because when Glee is already tackling a ridiculous storyline (like someone Sue’s age having a baby with a celebrity sperm donor) they like to crank the melodramatic scale up to 11.
Stray Thoughts, Mildly Likable Moments
As you can probably tell, I wasn’t a fan of this episode. I mean, what about Karofsky? He was a HUGE focus of the last episode, and now we’re not even going to be told how he’s doing? Come on!
I thought Matt Bomer was a fantastically funny guest star, and his material is the kind of stuff I think Glee should be doing. Funny, wacky (everyone idolizing a commercial star), just over the top enough and with a bit of true human emotion (sibling rivalry). But then they cut that stuff in with the absolutely insane Sue Sylvester storyline and it makes you hate the episode. Glee needs to learn when it’s too much crazy.
Even the Quinn and Artie stuff might have been bearable had it not been one looooong PSA, and if Quinn weren’t a character that’s been horribly, horribly thrown into stupid plotlines ever since she gave away a baby.
- Matt Bomer should host SNL. He’s handsome, he can sing, he does accents. I want him to be more famous.
- Puck told Finn “In California, she’s considered ugly.” Ha! So is FINN! (Funny or mean? I have trouble telling the difference sometimes.)
- Blaine was pictured boxing and showering during “Stronger”. Tell me you didn’t think “I wish this was Matt Bomer.”
- Sue needs more parenting tips than “Try to work on your patience.” The woman once tried to launch Brittany out of a cannon.
- OK, pretty much everything about Cooper Anderson’s Master Class in Acting made me laugh. Pointing, shouting, no eye contact. Gold.
I will still watch next week, only because of this: