CB’s Slant: WWE Extreme Rules PPV Final Card and Snapshot Thoughts

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Below is the final advertised card for WWE Extreme Rules, taking place this Sunday 4/29/12 at the Allstate Arena in Chicago, Illinois. Yup, Extreme Rules is in CM Punk’s hometown, and he is slated for a Chicago Street Fight against Chris Jericho for the WWE Championship. Oh, and of course, we have Brock Lesnar vs. John Cena to sink our teeth into as well. Check out the full card below along with some of my snapshot thoughts:

John Cena vs. Brock Lesnar (Extreme Rules Match)

CB’s Slant: Whatever idiot thought it was a good idea to have Brock Lesnar ramble on and on for 20 minutes in the go-home segment for this PPV should be fired immediately. But since Vince won’t fire himself, we are now left with a main event I have quickly soured on. I hope the match is good, but even more importantly, I hope they END this feud quickly and move in another direction with Brock and Cena. Maybe Lesnar wins, takes out Cena, and John gets some time off, or Juan Cena returns! something.

Winner: Brock Lesnar

World Heavyweight Champion Sheamus vs. Daniel Bryan (2-out-of-3 Falls Match)

CB’s Slant: I have a feeling that we will be tied up at 1 fall apiece when AJ Lee comes out and FINALLY gets her comeuppance on her ex by distracting D-Bryan long enough for Sheamus to score the deciding pin-fall and the win. Also, this will all happen in 54 seconds, or 18 seconds per fall. OK, fine, 18 minutes.

Winner and STILL Champion: Sheamus

WWE Champion CM Punk vs. Chris Jericho (Chicago Street Fight)

CB’s Slant: My favorite match on the card. However, I must ask, what the hell makes a Chicago Street Fight a *CHICAGO* Street Fight? Apparently, deep dish pizza makes all the difference, according to WWE.com at least.

Either way, the back and forth between Punk and Jericho has been fun to watch and I expect nothing less than the match of the night from these two. Also, I think it’s finally time for a title change, as Jericho needs to win at least one of these matches against Punk to legitimize his comeback.

Winner and NEW Champion: Chris Jericho

Randy Orton vs. Kane (Falls Count Anywhere Match)

CB’s Slant: These two are still fighting? Wow.

Winner: Randy Orton

Intercontinental Champion Big Show vs. Cody Rhodes

CB’s Slant: These two are also still fighting? Wow x2. Actually, with the new POWERHOUSE TAG TEAM of Great Khali and Big Show, I have a feeling Cody Rhodes will actually take back the IC strap. Then, Big Show and Khali will squash Epico and Primo on SmackDown or even Superstars next week to win the tag titles.

Winner and NEW Champion: Cody Rhodes

Divas Champion Nikki Bella vs. Beth Phoenix – EXTREME BATHROOM BREAK MATCH

CB’s Slant: On Raw, Beth Phoenix faked it was injured, and Bella Twin #2 took advantage to win the Divas Championship. Beth pleaded for a rematch at Extreme Rules and she got it. Big whoop.

Winner and STILL Champion: Bella Twin #2 via shenanigans

United States Champion Santino Marella vs. The Miz – EXTREME PRESHOW MATCH

CB’s Slant: Remember when Miz headlined WrestleMania? Nowadays, Alex Riley gets more screen-time on Raw, and Riley was barely even on the show himself (in case you missed it, A-Ry was the one who told Jericho that Punk was drinking alcohol in his locker room). I think Miz might win against Santino in this preshow match, but does it even matter anymore? I mean, he’s lost so much since WrestleMania 28 that it’s almost unbearable to watch him try to be even remotely credible these days. With that said…

Winner and NEW Champion: The Miz, in a very hollow win with no real point whatsoever.

Well, that’s it for the Extreme Rules PPV card. At the end of the day, there are three matches that folks may want to see: Brock-Cena; Punk-Jericho (a rematch worth having because they are fun to watch; and Bryan-Sheamus (a rematch worth having because the first one was barely a match).

Personally, however, I think this is a weak PPV that is easy to pass up.

That’s all from me — CB.

CB is an Editor for Pulse Wrestling and an original member of the Inside Pulse writing team covering the spectrum of pop culture including pro wrestling, sports, movies, music, radio and television.