My name is Chris, this is my Twitter and THIS IS THE RAGER!
Last week, I joined forces with Joel Leonard last week on No Chance and we shared our experiences from our very first WWE live event. But this week, its time to preview the upcoming PPV Over The Limit (which I totally could’ve attended if money grew in my pants). This comes 3 weeks after the last PPV as we settle into the post-Wrestlemania drone (the endless monophonic sound device…not the unmanned flight device) that makes us wish for sweet death until Punk-like moment wakes us all up.
Youtube Pre-show Match: Zack Ryder vs Kane
So all the Kane/Ryder/Cena/Eve nonsense finally ties its last loose-end…online for free. But like everyone is quick to point out, this is WWE and they don’t believe in the word “planning.” I won’t be so bold as to say that fans don’t really care about this match and probably won’t tune into Youtube Sunday night but its on that line. Kane vs Orton really made no sense and, who knows, maybe it would’ve been better for Kane and Ryder to have faced each other at Mania rather than scrambling to give Orton something to do. Poor Kane basically serving as a hat or coat that people place on seats to save for their friends and once the friends show up, the hat or coat gets put on the floor and forgotten. Not sure the outcome will be but if recent trends dictate anything, doesn’t look good for Ryder.
Divas Championship: Layla (c) vs Beth Phoenix
Like a lot of the matches set for OTL, this seemed to be thrown together and there was no real build to anything leading up…not that I’m saying WWE ever builds up a Diva match ever or anything. I wouldn’t be surprised if Kharma makes an appearance but then again, we’ve been saying that every week since Rumble.
Tag Team Championship Match: Kofi Kingston & R-Truth(c) vs Zwiggler
What really is there to say about this match? Random (other than ethnicity) tag team parings going at it with very little between them but are placed in this situation because the previous place-mat champs weren’t big enough draws. Something tells me that Zwiggler will take it and we won’t get another title defense until sometime after MitB.
John Cena vs John Laurinaitis
The most miraculous thing about Laurinaitis being in the forefront for almost a year is that I finally remembered how to spell his last name without have to look it up (and by my luck, I’ll probably still misspell it). They added a couple stipulations in Cena’s favor on Raw: if any superstars interfere then they would immediately be terminated and if Johnny loses, he will be terminated. This seems a little bit too in Cena’s favor and I’m expecting some sort of interference through some loophole. An idea would be for Brock Brock to comes and lay out Cena under the guise that he quit and isn’t technically an employee. A lot of rumors are circulating over the return of a certain person with a sun tattooed around his belly-button, maybe he comes out under the same loophole that I just mentioned for Brock Brock (it’s funny to me because you sound like a chicken when you say Brock Brock). Either way, Johnny isn’t getting fired.
World Heavyweight Championship Fatal 4-Way: Sheamus (c) vs Randy Orton vs Alberto Del Rio vs Chris Jericho
After watching Alberto Del Rio being treated like a pinata (wocka wocka) on Smackdown last week, I’m assuming Del Rio does have much of a chance and I’m ok with that because he’s being outclassed by his ring announcer’s cross bodies. This also serves as a way for Randy to get back into the title picture without having to go directly against another face. I do appreciate the slight nod to the gimmick PPV that used to take up the May slot. That being said, Chris Jericho has been losing everything since his return but has been a workhorse for the company these few short months. A Fatal 4-Way is exactly the kind of match Jericho would win a championship in (through some sort of escapist fashion of course). This would be a good “thank you” from the company before Chris goes off on the next Fozzy tour. But seriously, I haven’t heard anyone else mention this but how terrible, musically, is Fozzy? Geez.
WWE Championship: CM Punk (c) vs Daniel Bryan
Welcome to the biggest reason why OTL gets any significant buys, not counting the people that literally buy anything with John Cena’s face on it. My only complaint is that there’s really no story being told over the last few weeks. I would think at the very least, we could get a few references to the series of matches these two had before Wrestlemania. But the main point of this is that we are obviously in for a huge treat and its kind of a shame that we are getting it at a minor PPV but, then again, we should be grateful that we are getting it all. I’m assuming they’re keeping the belt on Punk and one can only hope that this turns into a multi-PPV feud (even though I really hate those).
Other Thoughts:
Why does WWE insist that we have to watch Big Show cry? Seriously, how many times has that dude cried in the past year? And for terrible reasons! He should have been remorseful for the AJ thing, sure. Winning the Intercontinental Championship at Mania? Man up and own that moment! Being humiliated by your boss and being made to do questionable things in front of a national audience? Falcon Punch that boss!
Everyone knows there are only 3 acceptable times for a man to cry:
1) When you RETIRE from any athletic sport
2) At the passing of a parent, child or dog (anything else is totally replaceable
3) When watching Field of Dreams
A man CAN cry other times but he’s at risk of being called a pansy (or worse) by his friends, coworkers, random people on the street.
(and before any one calls, yes these are the same rules established by The Rob Arnie and Dawn Show)
Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do twice,
Chris
The Answer: Something super awesome and excited is on its way and I can’t wait to share it with everyone!
