Problem Vs. Solution : Six Ways to Fix WWE

Problem Vs. Solution

Six Ways to fix WWE

 

               
Oh man, where to start? First off, let us address what ALL of you are thinking: Who is this idiot? Why does he think he knows how to fix WWE? And last but not least, OH NO not this again! Let us start at the first question.

This idiot is most likely not too far off from you. I am a smart mark, a long time wrestling watcher, and a purist. I grew up watching Hulk Hogan, but was much more of a Ric Flair fan. He was just more entertaining, and for my money, was the true wrestler of the 1980’s.

I fancy myself as one who can fix WWE because I’ve thought about it. A lot. I’ve watched professional wrestling my ENTIRE life, all 32 years of it, and if I may say so, I know what I’m talking about. I’ve powwowed with friends, sat up watching Raw and being disgusted, yearned for the simpler times. Why? Because folks, THE SMALL THINGS DRAW!! As I hope you’ll come to agree.

Ok, so, NOT THIS AGAIN!!! I look at it like this: I am NOT fantasy booking here. I am simply suggesting some very serious changes that have worked in the past, and I believe would work in the present and future.

In no particular order I give you my ideas how to give WWE the power it once had.

PROBLEM

The announcing teams don’t spend any time on the actual match. They drone on and on about the angle surrounding the match or, let’s face it, John Cena’s particular interests at the time. I don’t care about TOUT, what’s trending on Twitter, or how the Big Show is angry again. I want the matches and moves called. And yes, I’m aware that this is all coming from Vince, but I stand by it.

SOLUTION

First and foremost, BRING BACK Jim Ross!  There has never been an announcer that could sell the product AND the action at the same time so well. Not Gordon Solie, not Bobby Heenan, and not Gorilla Monsoon. All fine announcers to be sure, but they pale to Jim Ross.

Second, find a suitable heel for Jim Ross to play off of. Let’s face facts; ever since Jerry Lawler returned from his firing in 2001, his face act has gotten absolutely beyond stale. You need a heel and a face in the broadcasting booth. It worked for 60 years and would work again.  I suggest Jim Cornette for this. He has no idea how to play a face, and he always puts over the wrestlers AND the action in the ring.

PROBLEM

Anyone who has read Mick Foley’s “Have a Nice Day” will recognize this one. I hate to tell the “new breed” of fan, but, in fact, THE SIGN ON THE MARQUEE SAYS WRESTLING!

SOLUTION

Easy as pie. Stop focusing on dumb, virtually unfollowable angles, and focus on the in ring product. Look at TNA just for a second. Go ahead, I’ll wait. Ok, you’re back. They have completely turned around their program with focusing on the in ring product. And they only have 2 hours to do so. Yet week after week they are turning out a well-timed program with tons of great in ring action. Keep in mind that WWE just switched to 3 hours to supposedly focus on wrestling, and it has been nothing but plug hour.

PROBLEM

Daniel Bryan’s usage. He is constantly being used as a new age Barry Horowitz in that he jobs and jobs and yet is inexplicably still incredibly over.

SOLUTION

I personally rate Bryan as a slightly better worker than Punk/Ziggler, and he should be used as a new age Shawn Michaels other than the aforementioned Mr. Horowitz. I realize there in ring styles are different, but they both have that same cocky attitude and can put on a show every time they step in the ring.

That might actually be the crux of the issue of all this, now that I think of it. Think back to the 80’s. Every worker was given ample time to not only getting over, but to show what they could do in the ring. If I had to sit through 10 minute Warlord matches, why not Daniel Bryan?

Oh and P.S., please stop pinning him in EVERY tag match he is involved in.

PROBLEM

The complete and total loss of the tag division. The tag team division not only at one point drew, but was the gateway to creating new stars. Bret Hart, Shawn Michaels, The British Bulldog, Rick Martel, and Scott Steiner. And what’s amazing is that I am most likely missing some very obvious ones here. It has become so dismantled and forgotten about that the last tag champs I can recall being “cool” was Team Angle!

SOLUTION

Every new worker, if not an established star, starts off in the tag division. All the FCW guys, all the new call-ups, everyone from the Indies not named Colt Cabana. Even someone like Tensai could have been put in a tag situation as the monster/hard knocks player with a real worker. You build the division up, redefining the Tag Titles as something to be valued and then it starts to draw again. In this instance I go back to something I read Kevin Nash said about building up Goldberg and then beating him. To paraphrase, if you build someone as crap, and you beat him, all you’ve done is beat crap. If you build a monster, you’ve beaten a monster. The same thing applies to the Tag Titles in that you must build them up in value, or if you win them, all you’ve done is won crap.

PROBLEM

Easiest one I got. No more comedy. Or at the very least, not so much of it.

SOLUTION

I do not ever need to see The Big Show poop ever again. I do not need Natalya Neidhart’s flatulence problems. Hey Vince, STOP THAT!!!

PROBLEM

The discontinuance of managers in the wrestling business has confounded me for years. They can be used in a variety of ways from interfering in matches to being necessary mouthpieces for a new worker.

SOLUTION

Taking Michael Cole out of the broadcasting booth gives you a great start to a mouthpiece, slimy heel  manager. Stick him with his obvious favorites, The Miz, Jack Swagger and let’s say Ziggler. That is quite a stable to start off with.

Another man perfect for the job would be the returning Ric Flair. The best talker in the history of our storied business, and the only man who could sell a boat to a man in the Sahara.

Hell, while we’re at it, let us bring back Slick to manage a reinvigorated Brodus Clay! Not only would we all love to hear Jive Soul Bro every week, he’s the perfect man for the job.

 

So there you have it. My best suggestions to fix our beloved WWE. Let the argument begin!

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