Last week, I issued a challenge for people to give me 5 reasons why I would want to tune into Smackdown every Friday and I was met with an abundance of responses (even got a mention in the always fun Smackdown Breakdown…seriously, you two are way more fun than watching the actual show). Many good points and arguments were made but alas I did not watch Smackdown this past week but not so much because of being unwilling and more because of the Halloween party that was being hosted at my apartment that night (for those wondering, my costume was “Bane-nam” style…it’s on facebook).
But I would like to share my opinion on Gojira and Kelly’s respective submissions to the challenge:
Gojira:
1. The Sandow/Bryan dynamic on the mic.
2. Only two hours instead of three.
3. We only have to watch 3 minutes of Raw to get the gist of it.
4. JBL on commentary, berating Josh Mathews and spouting knowledge about wrestling’s past.
5. No John Cena.
1. Gojira is playing to my love of Sandow and Bryan but don’t we kinda get that dynamic already on Raw? I suppose the real difference is that they get more time on the mic together. Valid point.
2. I honestly don’t mind the 3 hours as much as I thought I would in the beginning.
3. Not exactly sure what point is being here. That you get how the Raw is going to be after watching the first 3 minutes of it? Or 3 minutes of Raw recap on Smackdown?
4. Yeah, that’s fun a few times but after a while it gets kinda stale. At Hell in a Cell, I was okay with the first Oklahoma Sooners losing reference but I could’ve done without the ensure 3 million. Not quite at Heel Cole levels, mind you, but it gets old after a while.
5. Can’t even argue. Valid Point.
That gives Gojira a score of 40%
Kelly:
1. Pretty consistent action, as opposed to an overdose of backstage segments and other mindless chatter.
2. Kaitlyn’s boobs.
3. Midcard talents usually gets some (not much, but some) time to shine.
4. They’re always mixing it up with the matches. Sure, sometimes they throw the same dudes together over, and over, and over, and OVER. But we often get two random-ass dudes just going at it. It’s fresh.
5. Alberto del Rio.
1. This is true but I can’t help but get the feeling we are seeing the same guys face each other every week so I already know what to expect.
2. I can always use more of those. Valid point.
3. Actually I feel like Smackdown should be more of a mid and lower card show…maybe the main even being a low or mid card wrestler that’s been working their way up and get to show what they have against a top level guy. Have guys that excels move up to Raw eventually, guys that start to struggle get send down to Smackdown. Give it some structure. Valid Point.
4. Eh, kinda already made that point. Sure every now and then we get something out of the blue but it doesn’t seem to happen all that often.
5. I can’t even…just no.
Looks like Kelly also scores 40% but considering she made a great point about Kaitlyn’s boobs, I’m willing to bump it up to 45%.
If anybody wants to join the fun and see where they score, submit today!
Hell in a Cell:
Not even going to dignify the pre-show with a mention on this column (You can thank the douche-nozzle that submitted a tout with a tout headband around his neck…sir, your father is sorry).
Random Match that equates to nothing: Randy Orton vs Alberto Del Rio
Had really low expectations but it seems like time off has done some good for Randy. Really solid match that works well for both guys. Randy needed this to get into some sort of rhythm after a really strange year for him. Del Rio needed this to break out of the pocket of suck known as his rivalry with Sheamus. Solid opening to the show, kudos to both gentlemen.
Tag Team Championship Match: Team Friendship(c) vs Rhodes Scholars
I’m never really a fan of PPV matches that end in DQ but if this some way of continuing a rivalry between these two teams then I’m all for it. The match itself was pretty much everything I was expecting and that pleases me in levels that are probably a risk to my health but I will take that chance for each and every one of you.
Miz’s terrible product-placement promo makes my brain turn to despair-flavored jello.
Intercontinental Championship match: Kofi Kingston(c) vs Miz
Decent enough match, seems like WWE’s intentions are for a new focus on Kofi but we’ve been down that road plenty of times in the past few years. I would like to see them give Kofi an actual high profile feud with the Intercontinental belt and not just give up and have him hold it until someone they have higher opinions of comes along.
United States Championship match: Antonio Cesaro(c) vs Justin Gabriel
So Gabriel made it onto a PPV on his own…who knew. Seems like Justin has been getting a lot of tv time the past couple weeks. This match was pretty good, actually got to see some things out of Gabriel we usually don’t get to in tag team matches. Gabriel did seem to take a nasty bump with that uppercut towards the end of the match. I’m starting to like Cesaro more and more in the ring but egads, his character needs all the work.
Tag Team match that has nothing to do with anything: Masked Disappointment vs PTP
I cared more for the Divas match than this.
World Heavyweight Championship match: Sheamus(c) vs Big Show
I gave this match absolutely not chance to entertain me before it started so with that in mind, I actually kinda dug this match. Show looked like an actual dominant threat and Sheamus looked like the guy he was built up to be, the guy that wants to rise to the challenge and fight his way through it. We had both guys kicking out of finishers as if it was Wrestlemania and a decent number of high spots. The only down part of this was the fact that I was expected to be impressed with Sheamus hitting the white noise against Show. I’m sorry, there’s nothing impressive about that move no matter who is on the receiving end of it. Sheamus apparently didn’t get the John Cena memo that you’re suppose to struggle heavily when lifting Show.
Triple Threat Match for Divas Championship: Eve(c) vs Layla vs Kaitlyn
Yes, it’s true that I liked this match more than the tag match earlier, but not by much. Not a bad for a Divas PPV match. Also, Kaitlyn’s boobs.
Hell in a Cell Match for the WWE Championship: CM Punk(c) vs Ryback
In the days leading up to HIAC, we were all guessing and wondering how WWE would find a way to keep the belt on Punk but Ryback can still leave with the momentum he has built up. Kudos for WWE for going with the way that nobody (that I knew of) came up with. Yes, CM Punk is really great in the ring but he also has an ability to tell a story over the course of a match, as we saw previously at MitB against Daniel Bryan. We saw Punk do that again with Ryback, a lot of great action as we expected but Punk never veered away from the story of trying to escape from Ryback. Brad Maddox has already establish himself as “a bad ref” a while back and yet still went completely unnoticed by me that he was the ref for the match. Of course that was until Maddox gave Ryback a swift punch to the taint region and helped Punk cover him as he counted. Afterwards, Ryback went into angry attack mode as Maddox gains some respect in my book as he took some nasty bumps. Punk didn’t quite escape as the doors were opened. Punk was, however, able to do something I don’t think any one has attempted since the Cell was increased to 20 ft high, homeboy climbed the fence. And to Ryback’s credit, he climbed too. Both men had us on the edge of ours seats as we had been in Cell matches of the past. Luckily for both men, no huge falls were needed but Ryback sure looked like a beast as Atlanta finally came alive at the end.
All in all, I believe HIAC will rank pretty high for me in a really good year for WWE PPVs (As it stands: #1 WM28 #2 Over the Limit #3 tied HIAC and Extreme Rules).
Haven’t really plugged myself in a while so pardon me while I get all shameless:
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Have a great week and as always…
Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do twice,
Chris
The Answer: The journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step, followed by countless others, gradually merging into a relentless trudge.
