Really?! A god damn Nor’Easter right after Hurricane Sandy? To top it all off, I’m sick with bronchitis AND there’s still a gas shortage. You’d think I could find some solace in the sport of professional wrestling, but these days it’s tough to get in the mood. I find myself actually dreading Monday nights because of my compulsion to watch Raw, forcing myself to fast forward through the majority of the show just to see if anything piques my interest. Needless to say, there isn’t much to look forward to these days. I feel the same way I did during Triple H’s Reign of Terror, when I boycotted Raw while he was World Heavyweight Champion.
Perhaps it’s time for another sabbatical?
Here are 5 things (in no particular order) about the WWE that have me completely flustered:
1. CM Punk’s Forced Heel Turn
This is something I covered in more detail a few weeks ago, but it still bugs me. Instead of the snarky, Internet-savvy anti-hero we had for the first half of 2012, we’re now stuck with a generic egotistical heel who has become so one-dimensional that it’s insulting. On the flip side, one of the few things keeping me from taking a break from wrestling is the spectacle of Punk’s historic title reign.
2. The Burial of Zack Ryder
One of the biggest dick moves the WWE has made in recent memory was turning Zack Ryder into a pathetic joke. Yes, I get that he’s a comedic wrestler, but so is Santino and Marella most certainly is treated better onscreen than his current tag team partner. The most insulting part about all of this is that, before Ryder’s Youtube show, the WWE refused to focus on the Internet crowd. Once he got himself over the company ran with it, sucked the guy dry, made other Internet investments, and left him in the dust.
3. Wasted Opportunities with Brock Lesnar
What a fucking joke. They pay this guy millions for a set number of dates without actually plotting anything out and, as a result, we get the biggest waste of a money maker’s return since The Rock at Wrestlemania XXVII. And instead of attempting to regain viewers by having him work with Punk to screw over Cena and Ryback, they go with a referee heel turn. Bravo.
4. Feuds That Continue Well Past Their Expiration Date
Randy Orton vs Christian took 4 months to finish. Sheamus vs Alberto del Rio did the same. Whatever happened to the days when fresh talent would get a main event slot once a month to see if they could hang with the big boys?
5. No Clear Direction
There are way too many examples of poor booking on the fly. The finish to Hell in a Cell. The decision to make Big Show the new World Heavyweight Champion. The total overhaul of the Survivor Series main event. These were all decisions made at the eleventh hour; decisions that show there is no end game in sight. The vast majority of lengthy angles have no finish line because the writers and primarily Vince have chosen to ride the wave of interest and hope to sustain it as long as possible without caring about the repercussions of a terrible ending. Hell, I couldn’t even fathom what next year’s Wrestlemania card might be if you asked me. Whether that’s a good or bad thing is too early to determine.
I realize that there are often lull periods in this business, but the ratings are an indication that this is more than just a short stretch of crap. They haven’t been this low since Raw first began; take from that what you will. By the time you read this, I will have already purchased my Wrestlemania tickets.
I’m just not sure I’ll be watching much wrestling after that.
So long, and thanks for all the fish.
