The Common Denominator – No Respect for Authority! (Vince McMahon, Jack Tunney, Jim Crockett, Stanley Blackburn, Eric Bischoff, Paul Heyman, The Miz)

Columns, Top Story

Hello again, my Common Denomi-Nation! Back again in an attempt to be somewhat on time for the millions—and mill-…what? Maybe like a dozen people read this? Oh…
Well, anyways, one thing I really enjoy about this column is reading the feedback. There really aren’t a lot of hardcore wrestling fans in my current social circles, so I like to see what other people think about what I think. I think.
Last week, I gave my description of a type of storyline I’d like to see play out in the WWE, and one of the comments, from Aaron Sirois was “Not to be a downer, but your big plan is to basically run the same storyline that we’ve gotten several times before? Just have it run longer?”
And, you know what? When you’re right, you’re right. Another comment, this one from Kung Fu Panda, was “I appreciate what you’re trying to do and I enjoyed the read but one massive storyline throughout the company isn’t the answer. When things are most entertaining is when each wrestler has some sort of individual storyline going on.”
Again, a good point. I guess it is easy to forget how the NWO completely overwhelmed WCW for a while, even though it was a great storyline, it did serve to shuffle everything else to the periphery.
Finally, what I think was the real answer came up in a comment from CH Punk (no relation?), who wrote, “Yeah, but Raw isn’t Hamlet. Factions, tag teams, and a firm commissioner made for a great show, back in the 70s until the late 90s.”
Now I already did a column on how factions, especially with a good manager or top guy to serve as a mouthpiece, are a great staple of successful wrestling shows, but the phrase “firm commissioner” really stuck out to me.
When I was a younger man, when the president, CEO, commissioner, authority figure, whatever showed up on TV, I took that to mean things just took a turn for the serious. The first of these guys I remember was Eddie Marlin, promoter and part owner of the Memphis wrestling circuit that eventually became the USWA. Once things got so out of control that Eddie had to come out, I knew there was going to be a Texas Death Match or Loser-Leaves-Town match or someone was about to get “fired.” It was simple, but effective booking that worked.
WWF President (in storyline terms only, of course) Jack Tunney was another one of these guys. And he almost never interacted with the wrestlers, choosing to appear on video, kind of like the president delivering a speech to the nation. Again, when Tunney made an appearance, shit just got real. Sometimes, he didn’t even have to actually show his face. Vince or Gorilla Monsoon, or whoever would simply report “We have received word from WWF President Jack Tunney that…” and no one outside of Jesse Ventura or Bobby Heenan would even think to question it (and even then, too bad, sucka!)
In the NWA, the Crocketts took it a step further. They would strip titles, suspend wrestlers, review footage, and then come out and personally deliver their mandates. Sometimes, it would result in an ass-whoopin’, which was made even more impactful, because it was akin to beating up your boss on TV (one of the key reasons why Austin-McMahon worked so well years later). WCW took this same approach with mixed results later on with real (Jim Herd, Kip Frye, Bill Watts) authority figures, prop authority figures (Nick Bockwinkle, JJ Dillon) and a mix of the two (Eric Bischoff, Vince Russo), until it turned into a joke by the time Nash got the book.
AWA President (in name only) even served to completely screw the fans over at every turn, overturning popular title changes, including at least one Hulk Hogan over Nick Bockwinkle result that ultimately led to the Hulkster leaving the promotion. Of course, it was Verne Gagne really calling the shots, but sort of like an anti-Tunney, any time Blackburn’s name came up on AWA TV, I knew something was about to piss me off.
TNA has had somewhat successful results with their on-screen figureheads. Unfortunately, in the post-Attitude era, it seems like the authority exists only to be derided and circumvented, maybe even to the point of only serving as a plot device. Sometimes the Evil GM gets beat down to get their comeuppance, sometimes the Good-Guy GM gets beat down to get heat on the heel. And really, at this point, is anyone really running TNA at all on-screen? (or at all…rim-shot)
I’m not saying the WWE has completely missed the mark with its various authority figures, with Vince probably having taken it to the limit by actually getting in the ring to take on whoever was giving him grief, but it really has been a long, long time since I could really buy into the idea that the Flavor of the Month GM was really in charge of or capable of enforcing anything. Even HHH, who I know for a fact is now a part of the McMahon family and wields considerable power backstage, looked like he was simply playing a part as COO. In fact, I’m not sure I could buy anyone as a credible authority figure in the WWE anymore outside if Vince (and I’m actually pretty tired of Vince at this point). His decision to completely neuter Vickie Guerrerro by re-booking the top of the Survivor Series card only punctuates that fact.
But having said that, if you could institute a strict hands-off policy for figureheads, and if I got at least some indication (real or not) that said authority figures had some kind of, you know, authority, I’d be willing to suspend disbelief and enjoy the idea that someone was really in charge. Do I have any suggestions? Oh, my Denomi-Nation, you know me too well.
For Raw, give me Paul Heyman. If he’s willing to work a full-time schedule and if he and Vince can get along, give him control of Raw (including at least some booking power). He’s smart enough to do edgy storylines that don’t shatter the PG ceiling and he’s a credible guy who once ran his own promotion. I wouldn’t go with “over-the-top heel” Heyman, either. Just one who expects the talent to shut up and perform. My back-up, in case Heyman isn’t willing or available: Dusty Rhodes.
For Smackdown, I’ll take Ric Flair. Assuming he’s headed back to the WWE soon, you would hope that Flair would not be used as an actual in-ring performer, since I am fully convinced that Flair intends to die in the ring. But let the Nature Boy come out and issue edicts the way only Flair can, with his music, his expensive suits and his ability to bleed during a promo. Flair has the ability to turn heel/face at will, so he could be what he needed to be for whichever wrestler he was dealing with. If no Flair, I’ll take Ricky Steamboat (or Arn Anderson).
And I wouldn’t have them out there every week handling minor issues. They would only be needed for things like contract signings, making special announcements, and to occasionally flex their authoritative muscles. Again, no physical assaults from the talent, except maybe by accident to further an angle or something. One other thing I would add, when (and it will happen) someone is suspended for a wellness violation, have them announce it on TV. That’s a real-life issue that, if announced by the on-screed authority figure, would help blur the lines between real and storyline.
One last, unrelated thing: It seems that The Miz is a face now. I, for one, have always enjoyed the Miz’s character, and I have thought that there have been several opportunities to pull the trigger on a face turn for him for quite some time. He interacts with the fans well, he is passable as a company face in the corporate world (where he won’t feel obligated to stay in heel character), and he can wrestle at least as well as most of the roster. I just think the actual turn was not well done. There was (to me at least) the potential for him to have a real moment, making a surprise save for Kofi, a recent rival, or even someone higher up in the pecking order, maybe making him a surprise fifth man on the night of the pay-per-view or something. I don’t know, but I’m a sucker for a good face turn. For a great example, see the recent efforts from Bully Ray in TNA to change his evil ways. Feel free to sound off in the comments for some of your favorites. Here’s a great one:

Yeah, heel turns are good, too, but I like to see the crowd pop for a bad guy gone good. Anyway, thanks for reading.

A lifelong self-admitted geek and nerd, Ralph has passed on his love of comic books, movies and pro wrestling to his children. In his day job, he writes for a newspaper in the Memphis area and plays volleyball and softball. He is almost as smart and as funny as he thinks he is.